31. So just

A/N: I did read this through a couple of times before publishing, but sometimes it takes time before really seeing the mistakes…I was reading some old chapters awhile ago and ran across some errors that made me cringe, like using the wrong letter in front of a word that changed it’ s meaning 🙄 (English is quite evil that way 😅) Well actually, there was one that caught my eye, but I suspect there might be more,) I fear my writing may sound awkward to native speakers. It felt much easier when I was younger and had quite many online friends around the world to chat with, sadly I’ve lost contact with many, busy years of adulthood does that….I have started reading more in English again to fill that void and expand my vocabulary.

Anyway, yay for you to have made it this far despite the writing not always being so fluent! 👏


Chapter 31

Chris opened the handcuffs and Joni brought his hand close to his body. At some point the music had deceased from playing, but he hadn’t even noticed it at first. Chris was beside him, his hand resting tenderly on his shoulder. ”Are you okay?” The man asked.

The question was strange. Joni looked at his ex-boyfriend in confusion and the look on his face seemed genuinely worried. Joni didn’t know what Chris assumed he would reply. ”Did he …?” Chris started. And Joni knew what Chris wanted to ask, still finding the question odd from his lips. Joni just shook his head.

”Good. Let me help you up. ” Chris said and offered his hand. Joni grabbed it. His body ached all over. Chris’ other hand wrapped around his shoulders and as he got up, Joni gasped. Sharp pain shot up from his knee, the same knee that had been hurt earlier.

His every step ached, Chris supported him and eventually lifted him in his arms. Joni didn’t argue, allowed the man to carry him,. He didn’t like the feeling of helplessness, but at the same time he knew that this would be the wrong time to protest or refuse help. He thought anxiously about the condition of his knee; it was easier to try to focus on that relatively insignificant concern to distract himself from thinking about what had just happened.

Chris lowered him to the bed that was made in the living room and Joni bent down to feel his sore leg. His knee was a little swollen and he moaned; He could not run with this foot if the opportunity came. Chris knelt on the floor next to him.

”Let me take a look.” The man said. Joni shuddered a little as Chris gently felt his knee. That sudden affection felt very strange after what he had just had to experience.

”No worries, I’ll get something cold to place on it to make the swelling go down.” Chris got up and walked to the kitchen corner. Joni followed the man with his eyes, with his guard up.

Chris came back after taking something out of the freezer and wrapping it in a thin towel. ”Press this against your knee.” The man said, seeming surprisingly clear and sensible, given how much he must have had to drink earlier. And further more; considering the fact that Chris had just shot Aki to death!

On the other hand, Joni had to admit that he didn’t really understand what had happened. He knew it to be true and at the same time it felt like… he was looking at the whole situation from afar, like it hadn’t happened to him. Joni picked up the cold wrapper in silence and carefully placed it on his hurt knee.

The loud gun shot, he could still hear it ringing in his ears and it made it more real. He wouldn’t have wanted to think! Yet Aki’s voice… the man’s heavy breath and the words he had threatened him with. He felt a strange gratitude that Chris had shot the man, at the same time that feeling felt contradicting. Without Chris, he wouldn’t even have been in this situation! Joni felt unwell and pulled the blanket tighter around him. He felt uneasy and vulnerable without his clothes.

He felt Chris’ gaze, felt the man’s presence. He heard footsteps pacing uneasily against the wooden floor. The sound of a lighter, followed by a puff of tobacco. Joni slowly turned his gaze and saw Chris sitting in front of the table. The man brushed his hair back with his free hand and glanced towards the door behind which Aki’s body lay.

What would happen now was a riddle, Joni got the feeling that Chris didn’t know either. This was hardly what Chris had planned to happen if the man had even had any plans besides his lust for revenge? Aki had probably planned the most of this, Chris was too impulsive for it.

”Do you want a drink?” Chris suddely asked as he poured whiskey into his glass. Joni shook his head. He first hoped Chris wouldn’t drink either, but then came to think that if Chris would pass out again, he might be able to call for help.

Chris nodded, brought a cigarette to his lips and sucked, blowing smoke out. The man looked pensive. Joni noticed how his hand was trembling, his clothes had blood splashes that Joni hadn’t noticed at first.

This had all really happened. In the next room lay a dead man. A man who had been very close to raping him. Now he was alone with Chris somewhere in the middle of nowhere. The whole situation felt absurd.

Chris got up suddenly.

”You must be hungry?” Chris looked at him, seeming somewhat… No, this hadn’t really been part of the plan and now the man was trying to seek refuge from something normal, but how could anything be normal in this situation? ”I can make you a sandwich, then I think you should try to get some sleep.”

The man walked into the kitchen corner with the cigarette in his hand. He opened the refrigerator. Joni’s gaze travelled to his finger where Chris had burned the permanent mark just a few hours earlier. Now watching Chris, who took the sandwich supplies out of the fridge and looked somewhat anxious as he took the last breath of his cigarette. It was difficult to believe that this was the same man plagued by anger and jealousy. However, Joni knew how easily that violent side might resurface.

Now he had to stay calm, stay cooperative. He couldn’t afford to lose Chris ’ sympathy if he wanted to survive.

When Chris returned with the sandwich and handed it to him, Joni accepted it even though he had no appetite. He knew he should feel hungry, it had been hours since he last had a prober meal, yet he didn’t feel it. “Thank you…” He whispered quietly. Of the two evils, the worse was perhaps dead, but Chris was still left. And even though the man was now considerate and calm, gentle even, it could change at any moment.

Whatever Chris’s next plan would be, Joni didn’t think the man would be ready to release him. At least not yet. Maybe if he played his cards right this time…?

Chris walked back to the table and sat down. He looked at Joni, who was plucking pieces of his bread and eating slowly. He wasn’t himself and it was really no wonder after what had just taken place. Chris felt his headache, he lit a new cigarette and took a sip from his glass.

 He thought about the options that he had left now and had to admit, they weren’t great. Where should they travel? Could they get across the border to Alaska, for example? They would somehow have to get past the border guards. The police were looking for him and they were looking for Joni.

How long could they afford to stay in their current location? They could not live with the body; it should be discarded somehow. Aki had talked about wolves… Chris felt restlessness set in, his hand still trembling. He would get caught, right? He couldn’t go to jail anymore.

Chris noticed Joni looking at him. If Joni got a chance to escape, he wouldn’t hesitate to take it and he would be a fool to imagine anything else. Chris needed time to think, he needed time to dispose of Aki’s body and then think about the rest.

Chris got up and walked to the kitchen. He searched for a sleeping drug and when he found it he mixed it with milk. Then he returned to the younger man.

”Here, drink this.”

Joni looked at Chris hesitantly. Part of him guessed when taking the glass, but in truth he was too exhausted to care. He no longer wanted to go through previous events in his mind. At that moment, he didn’t even have a solution on how to escape or the strength to come up with the solution.

He said nothing, lowered his gaze, and slowly drank the contents of the glass down his throat. He did not want to think… Did not want to be in this situation. At that moment, he felt like he had lost all the energy to fight. He had seen two men die, one of whom had not deserved it and who was completely innocent in all this. Joni still felt guilt for it, blaming himself for being the influencer who had led the situation. Yegor wouldn’t have died if…

Her eyelids felt heavy. The feeling grew and it was hard to keep his eyes open. “It’s alright, go to sleep,” Chris said, and the man’s voice was so very gentle and familiar, like before when… So different compared to just a few hours before. ”You need rest.” Chris continued and helped him lie down, Joni tightened his grip on the blanket with the remaining strength he could muster.

The pillow felt strangely soft underneath his head. Hand was caressing his hair softly. “Everything will be alright. Don’t worry.” That softness felt odd and at the same time he longed for it. He wanted everything to work out, that he would wake up in the morning and find that everything had been just a terrible nightmare. It felt like a nightmare.  

Chris sat beside Joni, stroking his hair. He watched as the younger man slowly drifred in deep sleep. There, in the borderline of sleep, Joni’s hand reached for his own and squeezed before losing it’s grib.. Chris brushed his hand softly on Joni’s face, there was a bruise forming on his left cheekbone, slight tear on his upper lip.  

Anger had lost its power. How had they ended up here form where they had started? It was quiet around them, the silence felt peculiar. Only Joni’s even breathing broke it. Again Chris studied the beautiful face of his former boyfriend, relaxed by sleep. He looked at the hands resting over that blanket. The skin of his wrist was irritated and red after the frantic but vain struggle to free himself from the handcuffs. A round burn mark on his ring finger, one he had caused. Chris remembered doing it, but the jealous rage behind that act felt so foreign now.

Chris swallowed. He moved the blanket and lifted the cold wrap from Joni’s knee before slowly getting up. He looked around the room, the skulls of animals on the walls. He walked over to the bottle, dropped the wrapper on the table next to the bottle, and filled his glass. Aki’s body was waiting behind the bedroom door, and Chris didn’t really know what to do with it, other than he needed to get it out.

He rolled back his glass and approached the room. The matter simply had to be taken care of, somehow. The body lay in the middle of the floor. The glazed eyes looked somewhere into the void; the color had drained from his face. There was a lot of blood. Chris got closer and looked at the body in disgust. What on earth should he do for it?

He couldn’t bear to look at Aki’s face and the hollow stare and took a pillowcase, which he dropped over this head. Chris sat down on the side of the bed and tried to think.

Aki had talked about wolves, maybe the animals would eat the body and he wouldn’t have to think about it anymore? But then someone could find grated human parts? The thought made him nauseous.

The ground would be too icy to bury the body. If he burned it, someone could notice the flames and smoke…

The shed next to the cabin had an ax to chop wood for the fireplace. Smaller pieces might be easier to dispose of? The thought gripped his abdomen uncomfortably and Chris rubbed his face. No, he wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t sink so low.

Eventually, Chris decided to move Aki’s body to the shed until he came up with a better solution. He got up and walked over to the body again. He looked at it and felt anger rising. He was annoyed that he had allowed Aki to lead him here and now… Chris cursed out loud, kicking the corpses leg in frustrated anger. “You fucking idiot! FUCK!” He cursed. The body remained unresponsive, just lying there in a pool of blood, and Chris took a deep breath. The rigor mortise had not yet begun, and if he had waited, it would make this even more difficult.

Chris went to the other room to dress his jacket and shoes on before returning.

The body, which lay flat and uncooperative, offering no resistant anymore then help, was not the easiest to lift. Since Joni was asleep and couldn’t see this, Chris decided to leave the unnecessary ceremonies and grabbed Aki’s feet.

He was already dragging his body towards the door until he suddenly took notice of the bloodbath it left behind. He didn’t want blood everywhere, since it would remind him, and most of all , remind Joni of what had happened.

Chris dropped Aki’s feet on the floor and looked around. Eventually, he decided to tear the sheet from the bed and wrap the body in it before lifting it with an effort on his shoulder groaning heavily as he did. He headed for the front door and opened it. The weight of the body surprised him, he would have imagined Aki weighing less. Maybe death made the body heavier?

The frost seemed to have gone up from earlier, and as he tossed the body into a stack of wood, Chris realized that it wouldn’t be easily moved from there anymore as it would inevitably freeze in the position it would remain in. Chris rubbed his face and stared at the human form wrapped inside the sheet. The sheet was already stained with blood.

Would it really matter if it stayed there? Aki’s murder would hardly be the first they would hold him accountable for and demand him in front of the justice. At that moment, it seemed irrelevant to worry about the corpse that would freeze in the shed, he just didn’t want to see it and he didn’t want Joni to see it anymore, let alone smell it when it started to rot…

Chris closed the door, his bare hands felt the stabs of cold and he stared at the starry sky as he rubbed his hands together to bring warmth. It was very quiet, peaceful. That silence created a momentary illusion that one could simply stay here and hide from the rest of the world. But it was only an illusion, there would be enough food to last for a week at least, especially now that there were only the two of them left, but…

In fact, Chris didn’t really know how long Aki had agreed to rent the house or if the owner doubted anything. He had been ill-prepared, gone blindly ahead, only by the thought of getting Joni back and getting his revenge. Aki had taken care of practical things, it was silly, he knew it now.

Chris came inside. Joni was still sleeping a peaceful deep sleep. Chris took off his outerwear and could still smell the nauseating, ironic smell of blood. But he was exhausted. Decided to close the bedroom door without being able to start cleaning the floor of blood that would have already been partially absorbed into the wood anyway. He noticed his own hands and clothes were stained with blood, his abdomen gripping. He felt the compulsive urge to wash himself and change his clothes, wanting to forget what he had done.

The shower corner wasn’t very big, but at least it existed and further more; the pipes worked. It could have been worse, and Chris didn’t bother to be offended by the coolness of the water in that situation, it was simply important to be able to get clean. Dried blood drained into the floor drain with water and soap included. He performed the washing as quickly as he could, at least the coolness of the water had taken some of the exhaustion away for a while.

After changing his clothes, Chris returned to the room. He walked to the table and poured himself another drink. He looked at Joni. How much time was there? Where could they go? His body ached. He didn’t want to think about what he had done and how narrow a corner it had driven him to.

Chris lifted the glass to his lips and stared at Joni until he was no longer sure how long he had been sitting there. Deep down he already knew there would really be no more than two or three options at most to choose from. Still, he wasn’t ready to admit them because none of them were what he wanted most. The glass was empty, and Joni was still sleeping. The hours crept towards the morning, but there would still be plenty of time before sunrise.

For a moment, however, he chose to stay in the bubble where what he wanted was not impossible. The outside world was still far away. Chris got up and walked to the bed and knelt in front of it. He looked at Joni’s face, sleeping calmly. And his hand gently touched the young man’s hair. The warmth of his body felt so inviting.

Chris got up and began to undress. He moved the younger man a little closer to the wall to fit under the blanket next to him. Chris brought his hand alongside Joni, watching his face while allowing his hand to travel slowly down on the warm skin. Chris planted a tender kiss to Joni’s lips, nibbling them softly and the younger man responded with a quiet moan in his sleep, the effect of the drug slowly starting to fade.

Chris moved his hand to Joni’s thigh, slowly between his legs, the soft skin of his inner thighs, a little higher… Joni moved, his sleep began to become more restless.

Chris brought his hand to Joni’s penis and gently rubbed his hand against it. He smiled as he felt the body responding to the touch and planted another kiss to the lips of the sleeping youth, whose lips slowly parted just slightly. He felt his own cock harden as he touched Joni more boldly.

His hand moved to Joni’s testicles, gently swirling the velvety skin inside his palm while the other hand moved to stroke the responding organ. Joni turned his head aside.

 Chris crept over Joni, continuing to caress him with his hands as he moved down with kisses on Joni’s body until he got where he wanted. The other hand moved up while he replaced it with his mouth. The cock was already half hard and hardened further in his mouth. Chris moved Joni’s legs further apart and settled better between them.

The younger man moaned at the border between sleep and wakefulness. Chris was now doing his best to pleasure him and when feeling the eager response, it aroused Chris further. He could feel his own cock throbbing with need to ram into that delightful heath that could be found from the others slender form. Chris caressed Joni’s anus with one hand where there was still a small amount of lubricant from the last time, but Chris didn’t want to rush. He wanted to enjoy that moment. He wanted to enjoy the delicious sounds of pleasure that Joni let out as he slowly began to wake. He wanted to linger in that illusion where everything could return to what had once existed between them. The rest of the world would simply melt away without fully reaching them.

Joni felt the pleasure spread in his body. He felt weird, like floating somewhere between clouds. He felt a warm moist mouth around his member bringing pleasure and as he slowly cracked his eyes open se looked and saw the blond head between his legs. Misha… He was confused, such a frightful dream, it had felt so real…. Had it just been a nightmare after all? His hand reached for the soft blond hair, giving in to the pleasure that the other offered. Joni felt his climax washing over him and gasped, whispering Misha’s name in relief, his toes twitched with pleasure. And Misha continued, swallowing what his body gave, then slowly retreating.

Joni’s eyes were half open, his gaze still blurry. “I had a terrible dream,” he muttered with his native tong, closing his tired eyes for a moment. At the same time, the blond man climbed over him, settling between his legs.

The man planted a soft kiss to his cheek and Joni opened his eyes. He was startled to find it was Chris on top of him. It wasn’t a dream at all? The realization brought tears in his eyes and he felt paralyzed.

Chris lifted his hips and rammed inside, moaning in pleasure that felt quite opposite for Joni. He forced himself to stay still, forced himself to endure the very uncomfortable feeling of Chris thrusting inside him. He couldn’t think clearly, he couldn’t act, he let it happen. In this situation, it was the only reasonable thing to do, to stay still and endure. To allow the unwelcome act and not voice how much he detested it. Silent tears forced their way down on his face, sickened by the lustful grunts that Chris made while raping him, only, the man would not consider this as such. Would anyone else either? When he hadn’t fought back this time? When he had.. just moments before Chris had made him cum… He felt sick and distressed by the thought and still he knew better than to start fighting back now. He allowed it to happen because he knew he had to, in order to have any hope of surviving.

And when it was finally over, Chris looked anxiously at his face, wiping tears with his thumb.

”I Hope I didn’t hurt you?” Chris asked and Joni almost laughed at how perverted the question was. He managed to restrain himself and for a moment Joni closed his eyes.

”No.” He answered. Chris smiled and kissed his forehead before rolling over to his side so that Joni was trapped between himself and the wall.

”Good, I wanted you to enjoy.” Chris continued and stroked his face. Joni’s chest gripped. He didn’t want to play this sick act, but what else could he do? However, he could not find the words. He didn’t know how to take the situation forward so that it would lead him getting back home in one piece.

”Is your knee still aching?” Chris asked.

”A little…” Joni replied quietly. The knee wasn’t even the only problem, he felt a pain elsewhere in his body caused by the struggle with Aki and what had happened with Chris earlier.

”I’ll get you a painkiller. Then let’s try to get some sleep.” The man said and got up. Jon’s throat tightened as he thought about his family and Misha and how worried they must have been for him by now. He wasn’t sure what Aki had said to his father, but he knew his dad must have expected some contact from the man. Could he convince Chris to call his dad? And maybe…

The trail of thought stopped when Chris returned. The man handed him the painkiller and a glass of water, which Joni quietly accepted as he got up a little on the bed. He didn’t know if he could get home anymore, he didn’t know what Chris was planning. However, it seemed wiser to try and stay calm, try to win Chris ’trust and create some kind of connection where they could talk peacefully, without the atmosphere being so easily explosive as it might have been now.

** ^^ ** ​​^^ ** ​​^^ **

By morning, it was already in the news. A 21-year-old Finnish man had been abducted and an 82-year-old Russian man shot to death in connection with the abduction. Christopher Hanratty, a 29-year-old Canadian man, and his 32-year-old Finnish accomplice Aki Kuusisto were suspected of the act. The Canadian had previously been imprisoned for assaulting and depriving liberty of the victim, while the other suspect had been serving time for a drug offense.

After hearing from Misha about Join’s abduction, Suvi had contacted Ryan again. He had told the man to go to the authorities to talk about what he knew. Ryan had done it, shocked that his suspicions had been justified. He had confirmed that he had met Aki with Chris in December and that he had seen a partial online conversation between the men in which they had mentioned Russia and getting supplies, which had sounded suspicious.

 The identities of the perpetrators were already so strong that their images were published to increase the likelihood of being found.

The men had already committed one murder, they were more likely to kill again. Any findings on the suspects were requested to inform directly to the authoritues.

Although Joni’s identity was not directly revealed, Misha knew it was only a matter of time before that too would come to light. He couldn’t help but wonder how Joni would react to it when he got back home. WHEN. He couldn’t think of that second option.

Misha sat at the table with the phone in front of him, drinking coffee. He waited, he wanted the news, hoped and eagerly awaited that one piece of information: Joni has been found, safe and sound. Those assholes would have been arrested or shot to death, whichever would be fine as long as Joni was safe.

Joni’s father had called late the night before. The man had been about to travel to them, but Aki had called him. It had changed plans, at least momentarily. Asko had clearly been out of his mind with worry when he told him about it. Aki demanded a ransom, two hundred thousand, or he would make sure they would never see Joni ever again. Aki had said he would call Asko again later to agree on details and that he should not involve cops to it or Joni would suffer.

Misha, in turn, had told that Chris had called him. He did not go into further details with  the content of the call to the shocked father. Just that he had exchanged a few words with Joni as well and that the money was hardly Chris’ motive. It was questionable whether Chris even knew anything about Aki’s plans.

The fact that the motives of the two men intersected so much, could be both a good and a bad thing at the same time. At some point, the men might confront each other, but Joni was in the middle of it all and the situation could end really bad for Joni.

 So, it seemed wiser to talk about it to the authorities, who managed to convince the worried father that he had done just the right thing. However, the problem arose after the news had already leaked. Asko was worried sick, he was irritated and angry. Worried for Joni’s safety, the leak couldn’t be a good thing, as it drove the armed criminals into a corner! However, after the news was published, a few clues had reportedly been received and their authentic was being checked.

They had no choice but to wait and hope. Expecting impatiently and at the same time fearfully for the new call from the men who had taken Joni. The men who held Joni’s life in their hands. It had been 24 hours since the abduction, and they were still waiting.


Chapter 32

A/N: Would really make me happy if you drop in a comment bellow, (or vote) thank you ❤


2 vastausta artikkeliin “31. So just

  1. I’m not sure if I’m doing this correctly because I can’t read this part of the page lol but I want you to know that I LOVE this story so much. I love Joni and Misha and I’m really hoping they get a happy ending. I’d also like to say that I think your English is amazing, so don’t worry about it sounding bad :). I’m so looking forward to the rest of the story and if you ever need a beta for any of the upcoming chapters, I’d be willing to do it. You can reach me at svt999@yahoo.com



    1. Thank you so much for reviewing! ❤ And a huge thank you for the beta offer! yay! I'll send you the next chapter when I get it translated. 🙂 (I'm not sure why the comment field looks so messed, at least if one uses mobile, since this lay out should be mobile friendly. But your comment came through just right! 🙂 )



Täytä tietosi alle tai klikkaa kuvaketta kirjautuaksesi sisään:


Olet kommentoimassa WordPress.com -tilin nimissä. Log Out /  Muuta )


Olet kommentoimassa Twitter -tilin nimissä. Log Out /  Muuta )


Olet kommentoimassa Facebook -tilin nimissä. Log Out /  Muuta )

Muodostetaan yhteyttä palveluun %s