Silent 51-55

Chapter 51.

Michael looked at the mess in the kitchen, the dishes on the table and on the counter. The floor was filled with crumbs and the dining room just as messy as the kitchen. Didn’t he just clean the place up? How much did these people eat? He wondered as he piled the dishes onto the counter. The others were getting ready to leave to the club, Emma was giggling loudly in the living room. Michael stared at the mess that was just waiting to be cleaned up. He sighed deeply.

“Oh forget it, I’ll clean up tomorrow.” He decided and poured himself a glass of wine.

“You seem to be spending lots of time in the kitchen” A man’s voice sneered behind him. Michael turned and looked at Caleb with insecurity. He didn’t know what to answer so he just smiled. The man came closer, Michael backed away from him carefully. He looked at the man feeling nervous; he tried to answer to the smile that the man was giving him.

“You’re pretty shy, aren’t you? Isn’t that just adorable.” The man whispered, once he had gotten close enough again.

“Do you want something? Wine? Beer?” Michael asked and walked over to the fridge; he opened the door and seemed to be searching the inside.

“I want something, but not wine, or beer.” Caleb told him

Michael startled when he felt the hand touching his thigh from behind. Michael looked at him with surprise, the man merely smiled, touched him more boldly this time. ”Don’t” Michael said quietly, walked away. The man stopped him, pressed him firmly against the counter.

“Don’t look so scared baby, I ain’t going to bite” He laughed. ”Give us a kiss then.” The man smiled, tried to kiss him, Michael turned his head away, and he felt hands on his waist, going lower.

”Stop.” Michael hissed, trying to brake free.

”Sam doesn’t have to know, don’t tell me that you wouldn’t want to, you’re practically begging for it.” Caleb laughed feeling him up.

“No, I don’t! Stop it!” Michael tried to push him away. When he didn’t manage and when the man didn’t listen, he took a hold of a kitchen knife and pointed it to the man’s chest. “Do you not understand the word; NO? Do not touch me.” He hissed. Caleb backed away, his hands in front of him.

“Take it easy sweetheart, I meant no harm.” Caleb said with amused tone, a grin on his lips.

Finally the man left him alone and only then could Michael place the knife back down on the counter. He was trembling, clenching on the counter tightly. He closed his eyes, forcing the tears back and when Sam, only moments later, came into the room, he somehow managed to smile and seem as though everything would have been fine. The molestation was something, that sadly enough; he had gotten used to already , he just didn’t want to go and cry about it to his boyfriend, every time that it happened. He didn’t want to be the cause of anymore worry for Sam then he had been already.

“Have a nice time.” He whispered to Sam as he was leaving with the others.

“It feels odd to leave you here.” Sam whispered back to him.

“You’ll miss me all night and then you’ll come and sleep next to me, showing me with your love, it’s my clever little plan.” Michael grinned.

“Clever indeed…” Sam pressed his forehead against his. “I’m missing you already.” He grinned back. Michael laughed, gave him a quick kiss.

“When did we become so sugary with each other?” He asked smiling; it was Sam’s turn to laugh.

“I don’t know, perhaps its love that makes people act strange.”

“Yes, perhaps.”


A musty smell and bad lighting, the man sniffed his nose as he walked on the crimson red fitted carpet on the dim corridor. He hated the place with all his heart. A woman screamed somewhere. He looked at the blemishes on the pale walls and his expression turned sourer. How low had he sunk, having to spend his nights in this god awful place? But no one asked questions here, people come and they’d go, no names were needed. Someone could have been dying, screaming in agony and no one would have cared.

The man thought about his beloved and a smile rose to his lips.

“Michael…” He whispered the name quietly. All this trouble and all this bother would be worth it, once he’d have his love in his arms, once he would be able to touch that perfection. Cold shivers ran down on his spine and he felt his erection growing inside his pants.

Finally he reached the door of his wretched apartment. As he opened the door, feeling the stifling air fill his lungs, he knew that he would have to find a better place to bring his love.

He walked into the sitting room and looked at his friend who sat on the couch staring at the TV screen with a blank expression. The other man turned his head slowly to look at him.

“Anything new Jean?” He asked, clearly hoping that there would be some kind of progress being made.

“Our wait will soon be over; soon it’s time to act.” Jean answered and smiled with satisfaction.


The place hadn’t changed much in two years, Sam thought as he sat down, in front of the table. The music was playing loud; couples on the dance floor, which kissed and danced in a way that made promises for the night to follow.

Was it really only two years, when he had last been in this place? He tasted his drink and smiled as he thought of Michael, he missed him already. He closed his eyes and tried to get into the mood of the place.

“What are you thinking about Sam?” Daniel asked, sitting next to him. Sam smiled, his eyes still close.

“Michael.” He answered and didn’t see the sour _expression that lurked on Daniel’s face.

“Why didn’t he come with us?” Daniel asked next.

“You know perfectly well why, I’ve told you.” Sam answered and took another sip of his drink. He felt little uncomfortable so close to his ex, ex that just few hours ago had claimed to love him. For a moment Daniel was silent.

“Do you remember when we met here for the first time?” Daniel asked then, Sam turned to look at him and the younger one smiled. “I saw you from the moment you stepped into this place; you had a tight black shirt and blue jeans on. You looked so confident and so handsome. I hoped that you would notice me, but it seemed impossible as so many others looked at you the same way that I did. And then, you came to me…”Daniel smiled to his memories and continued. “And when you kissed me, I thought my legs would soon fail from under me.” Daniel looked longingly towards the spot where they had shared their first kiss.

“Maybe it wasn’t wise to come here tonight…” Sam started.

“No, I’m sorry Sam, I didn’t say this to make you feel uncomfortable, but there’s nothing wrong in reminiscing, now is there? You’re engaged, you’re in love and I get that, I do respect that. I am sorry about what I said earlier today, I was drunk and I… Oh, just forget it ever happened, I’m ashamed about that. And I’m sorry about what I said to Michael. He is incredibly strong for getting through so well from what’s happened to him, I don’t think that I could be as strong as he. Michael is lucky to have you by his side.” Daniel smiled.

“Thank you Daniel, I consider myself lucky to have him.”

Julius walked over to them and placed two drinks on the table. “Will you come and dance with me honey?” He asked and looked at the younger one with hope.

“Gladly.” Daniel smiled and took the offered hand. Sam looked after them for a moment until his attention was drawn to Tony who sat on the opposite side of the table.

“Mark is getting us something to drink.” Tony told him with loud voice, his cheeks and his lips were slightly red and he looked around himself with curiosity.

“Where were you?” Sam asked grinning.

“Oh, we were dancing!” Tony snickered, Sam smiled. One could clearly see that Tony was drunk.

“Are you still coming to spend the night at our place?” Sam asked looking at the other with amusement.

“What? Yeah, of course, where else would I go?” Tony asked and looked at Sam with silly expression. Sam couldn’t help but to laugh.

“Where else indeed.” Sam grinned. Tony blinked in confusion; he really didn’t get what Sam was implying.

“Do they always slap others in the arse in these kinds of places? I’ve been slapped three times already, when ever Mark turned his back.” Tony asked leaning forward and tried to look at Sam straight in his eyes and sound less drunk than he really was. He did realize that he was failing miserably.

“If one has a great arse, then yes.” Sam said and winked at him.

Mark returned, he sat next to Tony and gave him a drink which the younger one took eagerly. “I brought one to you as well.” Mark said and pushed the drink glass closer to him.

“Thank you.” Sam smiled and looked how Mark placed his arm around Tony’s shoulders, pulling him closer to himself. Tony, who only moments ago, had been very concentrated on the drink in his hand, looked at the other man in confusion, before he finally relaxed in his arms.

Mark stroked Tony’s thigh and kissed his neck softly. Tony found it hard to concentrate on anything that was happening around them, Mark’s hands seemed to be everywhere on him, touching, feeling. Skilled lips on his skin and Tony felt as though his skin would have been burning. He moaned and placed his drink on the table with shaking hands.

Mark’s hand travelled up on his thigh, touched him lightly on his groin, teasing, until the hand returned on his thigh. Mark’s lips pressed against his own, nipping gently, a tongue asking for entrance and Tony decided to grant the wish. The searching hand returned, squeezed him from there. Tony let out a surprised sigh. This man was driving him mad, Tony licked his lips, feeling Mark’s lips on his neck once more, and Mark’s hand was under his shirt now. Tony felt himself becoming hard as rock already and had he been sober he would have been greatly embarrassed to be in such a state in such a public place. But now, he just didn’t care, it felt much too good and he didn’t want Mark to stop.

Sam looked at them for a moment, Mark was skilled in what he did and Tony was pure wax in his hands now. Sam grinned, for a moment he was worried if the two would start doing it right there on the table, they were so lost in the moment. He missed Michael even more; he hoped that Michael would be in the mood when he came home. On the other hand, he was afraid that he would pressure his boyfriend too much, coming home drunk, in the mood for sex and the last thing he wanted to do, was to pressure Michael.


”Would you like some Irish coffee?” Michael asked and looked at the woman.

“I would, thank you.” Kitty smiled and followed him into the kitchen. Michael was just pouring some water into the coffee-maker when the phone rang. He glanced at the clock, it was nearly midnight. He could guess who the caller would be, he had already been wondering why the usual call hadn’t come already.

“I’ll continue.” Kitty told him with a smile; Michael smiled back and walked over to the phone.

“Hello… Hi mom.” Michael glanced at Kitty, who just turned on the coffee-maker. Michael smiled, rolling his eyes; Kitty smiled back and went to get the cream from the fridge. “No, you didn’t wake me… Yes, everything is alright, how are things over there?”

“Sam went out with others… I told him to go mom, it’s been such a long time since he’s been out with his friends…No I’m not alone, Katherine is here… We’ll come and visit you next week… I love you too…Good night mom.” Michael smiled when hanging up the phone

“She calls every night, she says that she can’t get any sleep without knowing that I’m alright. She did try today though, it’s nearly twelve o’clock.” He explained to Kitty, who poured some whiskey into the glasses that had the coffee and the brown sugar in it already.

“I think it’s sweet. My own mom is the same. I’m nearly 28 and still she worries about me as though I would be a teen-aged.” She smiled and placed the cream on the top of the drink. He gave the other glass to Michael.

“Thank you.”

”Would you like to watch a movie?” Kitty suggested.

”Why not, how about Brave Heart? I think I’ve watched it like a thousand time’s already, but for some reason or another I’ll never get bored, Sam always makes fun of me for it.” Michael grinned.

“Hm…The beauty of Scotland, love story and fighting men, yeah; let’s watch that.” Kitty laughed.

They sat on the couch together, wrapped under a blanket.

“I love this movie; I love this beginning, the scenery. It would be great to go to Scotland or to Ireland after such a long time. I though I’d ask Sam if we could go to Ireland to visit my cousin this summer, if we’d go by ship, I could take Devlin with us.” Michael wondered.

“Sounds like a great plan, I’m sure that Sam would only be happy to go with you.”

“Have you met any of your neighbours yet?” Kitty asked.

“Only one, a woman across the street came to introduce herself one day, when we were out in the garden.” Michael told her, a grin forming on his lips. “She asked; are you two homosexuals?’ When we told her that yes, we are, she said that it didn’t bother her at all and welcomed us to the neighbourhood. We visited her the day before; she is a nice old lady, a widower, quite lonely. She told us to come and visit her anytime… Others haven’t had the courage to come and introduce themselves. One middle-aged woman walks past our driveway from time to time, looking at our house like it would be the devil himself living here; I’ve seen the Bible in her hands. I think she’s just gathering up some courage to step inside the sinners nest to talk about God and salvation.” Michael laughed and continued. “I thought that if she was to come, I’d show her this…” Michael took out the silver cross from under his shirt. “…And tell her that I know enough. I’m sure it would shock her.”

“It might.” Kitty laughed.

Michael placed the necklace under his shirt again. Kitty was quiet, studied him.

“Do you believe in God?” She asked finally. Michael looked back at her, smiling slightly.

“It might sound stupid, after all that’s happened, but in some level I do. I don’t believe in church, people have made the things that church teaches, too cold and full of contradictories. The church speaks of love and forgiveness and tolerance, but it only reaches to a certain point. Who are we to say which religion is right? When I think of God, I do not see some man with white clothes and a beard sitting on some cloud in heaven, I believe in a force of good and evil. God mirrors all the good in this world, and the evil is in people, in some more than in the others… No one who lives their life respecting others, seeing beyond themselves and loving others for who they are and not what they should be by some book, can not be wrong in what ever it is that they believe in. Do I make any sense what so ever? It’s hard to explain this while I’ve been drinking.” Michael laughed.

“It does make sense; it makes perfect sense to me.” Kitty smiled. ”So tell me; when are and Sam are going to get married?” Kitty grinned.

“Married?” Michael asked as though the idea was totally peculiar.

”Yes, you’re engaged and well, usually the next step is to seal the deal.”

“We haven’t talked about it yet, so far I’ve been satisfied to the way that things are now.”

“Well when you will get married, and trust me, you will…” Kitty grinned. “…How would you like it to happen?” She asked.

”Well I guess I’d like it too be something simple, something small. I’d like to get married outside, like some beautiful and peaceful place, hmm… it could be in a forest or something and it could be midnight. Just me Sam and few witnesses like you and Tony and of course the authorized person who can marry us or make our relationship a registered one… And the next day we could have a bigger party with all the family and friends… Oh well, I guess I have thought about it a little.” Michael grinned.

“Oh I like the idea, but if you do that you must promise that I get to be there for that special moment, uh, I mean for the ceremony. “ Kitty giggled for some naughty ideas that had suddenly popped in to her mind. Michael looked at her with a questioning eyebrow.

“Of course we’d have you there Kitty, you mean so much to me and Sam, without you, we might have never gotten together.” He said then.

The phone rang, interrupting their chat, Michael looked at the time and then at Kitty standing up quickly. He was suddenly afraid that something had happened to Sam; he hurried into the kitchen where the phone was. Kitty sat up, starting to worry as well, who would call in such a time?

Michael reached the phone.

“Michael Harris speaking.”



He heard someone breathing slowly at first and then more heavily.

“Is someone there?” He asked insecurely, thinking about hanging up.

“Michael, Môn amour… Do you miss me?” The voice crackled.

“No…” Michael breathed out, he squeezed the phone in his hand tightly, like his life was depending on it, he felt the first tear falling down on his cheek. “Jean, I’m begging you, leave me alone; just let me be. I’m begging you.”

Jean laughed, in an almost tender way.

“You still don’t know what you really want Mon Amour, but don’t worry; soon Cherie, soon…” The hoarse voice promised and before he even had time to realize what he had said the call ended.

His hand was shaking when he placed the phone back down. He leaned against the wall, looking around himself in the dark, he felt more tears gathering into his eyes. He lifted his shaking hand to wipe the tears away. How did Jean manage to get their private number? He wondered and felt the anxiety growing inside him. The time seemed to ran out, escape from his hands, would it happen again? He didn’t want the pain back ever again, he wanted it to end.

Once he managed to calm down a bit, he took the phone receiver off from the handle, he close the kitchen curtains, went to check that all the doors were locked, checked the security system; still working. He then returned into the living room.

Kitty looked at Michael closely when he returned into the room. His face was pale and his eyes held an odd look in them. Michael smiled to her, but the smile was tired and fake.

“Who was it?” Kitty asked as Michael sat down next to her.

“Wrong number.” Michael told her and reached out for the remote control from the table. Kitty noticed his hand shaking. She reached out and took his hand gently in hers

“I can see that you’re lying. Who was it?”

“ItwasJean.” Michael muttered.



”What did he say?” She asked with worry.

“He’s coming; he told me that he was coming to get me…” Michael said and finally gave in and started crying. Kitty looked at him with shock; she wrapped her arms around him tightly.

“Shh…It’s okay. He won’t get you, I promise.” He felt Michael wrapping his arms around her. “We’ve got to tell to the police.” She whispered and heard Michael taking a deep and shaking breath.

“I know… This might sound stupid, but can you sleep next to me until Sam comes home? I hate sleeping alone in this place, the stairs creak sometimes even if there’s no one walking on them.”

“Of course I can.”

“Thanks, and I’m sorry for acting like such a lady sometimes…” Michael muttered.

“Wanting me to stay next to you in this old house, after Jean called you, doesn’t make a lady out of you.” She smiled gently, receiving a smile back.

“Thanks Kit.”


Sam walked over to the bar counter to get a new drink. He felt the hungry eyes on his body, trying to ignore each of them. He had heard some very weird suggestions already during that night, old men who looked for someone young and good looking for a quick fuck and boys who were barely old enough for the place looked at him with admiration and tried their clumsy lines on him. Sam had already forgotten how desperate the search of someone to sleep with was in these places. He felt grateful that he had Michael.

“Sam, baby, you should look more cheerful.” Caleb whispered to him ear and squeezed his butt. Sam pushed him away.

“Dammit Caleb, do you always have to be touching my arse?!” Sam snapped. Caleb pulled him into a slightly more secluded corner.

“I heard a rumour, that the young, gorgeous boyfriend of yours would have been raped, by several men no less. Is it true?” Caleb asked looking sickeningly curious.

“From where did you hear that?” Sam asked his voice tightening

“So it is true.” Caleb laughed.

“Tell me Sam; how’s your sex life? Does he give it to you? Does he cry during it? Or maybe he’s a real wanton slut? I’ve hear that some rape victims turn out that way, they have to prove themselves that they can still enjoy the sex so they keep sleeping around, or then they are so afraid that it might happen again that they give it to anyone who’s interested.” Caleb looked at Sam’s face, his eyes that burned with anger. Caleb took a sip of his drink. Sam tried to leave, but the man pushed him against the wall. “Calm down Sam, your boyfriend is not a slut, I’ve tested him. It’s the first time that I’ve been threatened with a knife.” Caleb laughed. “He’s quite fiery.” The man added.

”What did you do? What did you say to him?!” Sam asked with anger, rage boiling inside him.

“Oh nothing serious, I merely suggested some fun, I might have touched him, but can you blame me Sam? Your boyfriend is sex on two legs, a real rarity.” Sam squeezed his hands into fists, his nails dug into his flesh. With deep revulsion he shoved Caleb away, trying to swallow down the almost desperate urge to beat the man up.

“I have no idea how I ever could have admired you. As of this moment, I feel nothing but burning loathing towards you. You are no longer a welcomed quest in our home; I do not care to hear from you ever again.” Sam hissed and left Caleb standing there, not looking back. He had had enough of this place and the people in it.

“Tony, I’m leaving, will you come with or stay here?” Sam asked once he had reached the hungrily kissing couple. Tony raised his head towards him, seeming a bit out of breath.

“Uh, now? Already?” He managed to ask. Mark leaned in to whisper something to his ear. Tony smiled, close his eyes for a moment. “Uh I, I think I’ll go to Mark’s place for the night.” Sam smiled.

“Alright, now be good you two.” Sam grinned, managing to forget about his conversation with Caleb for a moment. Mark and Tony muttered something for a reply before returning in to their competition of who could eat the other one faster, or that was how it seemed to the outsiders.

Sam walked along the street, hoping to catch a taxi as soon as possible. He didn’t remember the last time that he had felt as sour as he did now. Why hadn’t Michael told him about what Caleb had done? Had he been too afraid of his reaction? Sam wondered and at the same time he was mad for himself for not being there when Michael would have needed him. He couldn’t watch over Michael all the time, and he couldn’t protect him from the world, no matter how much he would like to protect him. Caleb sure wasn’t the first, nor would he be the last, to harass his fiancé in a sexual manner. Sam sighed. Why did life have to be so hard for them?

Finally he managed to get a taxi; he sat on the back seat. His cell began to ring almost instantly after the car had started.

“Hello.” He answered with tired voice.

“Hello Sam, how you’ve been?” Sam sighed when hearing Jean’s voice.

“Jean, what do you want? I warned you the last time.” Sam asked firmly.

“Maybe I already have what I came for? Maybe I have Michael, are you sorry now that you left them alone?” Jean voice mocked him.

“You’re lying.” Sam said and wasn’t able to hide the fright from his voice.

“I haven’t decided yet what to do, maybe I just strangle your friend, that red haired bitch and after that, mm… I might as well enjoy my pretty whore, my love that you stole from me… Have a nice evening Sam.” Jean laughed and hung up on him. Sam trembled, tears clouded his vision.

“Drive faster!” He ordered the driver with hoarse voice, fear growing inside him. What if Jean hadn’t lied? What if he truly had them? If he killed Kitty? Raped and killed Michael? Sam started to feel ill, he couldn’t take it, it couldn’t happen. The driver glanced at him through the rear-view mirror.

“Sir, is everything alright? Are you feeling ill? He asked.

“Drive faster, please, this is important!” Sam repeated and looked at the man with pleading eyes. The man didn’t say another word and did as he wished; the traffic was non-existent at that time of the night

Sam tried to call their home number; the line was constantly busy. He tried calling both Kitty’s and Michael’s cell phones, but either of them didn’t answer. He paid the driver hastily once they had reached their destination. He practically ran to the door, the house was dark; his hands shook as he opened the door.

He ran upstairs.

“Michael! Kitty!” He called and once he reached the bedroom door, he opened it roughly. Michael and Kitty looked at him with sleepy eyes; the lamp on the nightstand was on.

“Sam, why are you making so much noise? Has something happened?” Michael asked, sitting up. Sam looked at them with relief, he walked over to the bed and sat next to them, he pulled his boyfriend and his friend into a hug, giving up to his tears.

“Why the hell aren’t you answering your phones?!” Sam bawled

Michael wrapped his arms around him with worry; Kitty stroked Sam’s back gently.

“I must have left mine downstairs, what’s happened love?” Michael asked as Sam buried his head against his chest.

“And I have mine silenced during nights.” Kitty told him.

“Well from now on you’ll keep them with you constantly!” Sam insisted. Kitty rose from the bed, when Sam’s hold on her loosened. She sensed that this was something that Michael could comfort him better than she could. Once Kitty had stood up, Sam pulled Michael even closer. Michael looked at Kitty

“I’ll be in the guestroom if you need me.” Kitty whispered and Michael tried to give her a smile.

“Good night Kitty.” He whispered to her, holding his upset boyfriend in his arms. He had never before seen Sam like that. Kitty closed the door after her softly; she worried for her friend, but knew that she’d hear the whole story in the morning.

”Sam…” Michael spoke his name with quiet voice. Sam lifted his head up and touched his cheek. He pressed his lips against his and asked for entrance with his tongue which Michael instantly gave him. The kiss was filled with need, mixed with love and the fear of loosing each other too soon. Michael lay down, pulling Sam on top of him.

“I feared that I’d find you dead, both of you…” Sam whispered.

“Why?” Michael asked looking into his blue eyes.

“Jean called me and he said… oh it doesn’t matter what he said… If I were to loose you Michael, I… I wouldn’t be able to live without you, not anymore. You’re my life, you’re my heart and my soul, and you’re everything and anything that matters. I can’t loose you…” Sam whispered and kissed his lips.

“You’re not going to loose me, not yet. I’m like a cat with nine lives, so I might have spent quite a few already, but I’m sure I have few left.” Michael laughed quietly. “Do not worry; I am not going anywhere, not if I can help it.” Michael whispered and pulled Sam closer. The weight of his body felt secure on top of him and Michael hungered to feel him. He wrapped his legs around Sam’s waist, they kissed, the kiss growing into a hungrier one. Sam rocked his hips against his and Michael could feel his hardness against his own.

“I want you…” Sam breathed out, looking into his eyes. “Need you…” Sam rocked his hips more firmly against him, Michael moaned.

“And I you, take me Sam, I’m yours.”


Michael was the first one to wake up. He rose up from the bed and smiled as he looked at Sam’s sleeping form. He wrapped a sheet around him and sneaked out of the room as quietly as he could. He had been too tired to go to the shower last night after their love making as Sam had done. Sam had wanted to wash the sent of the musty club away so that it wouldn’t disturb his sleeping. Michael wouldn’t have mind really.

He washed himself carefully, dried himself up with a towel and after boiling himself a cup of tea he returned into the bedroom. He glanced at Sam, who was still sleeping, looking really peaceful. He knew that he should tell Sam about the call that Jean had given him, but he didn’t want to tell that just yet. Sam had been so upset last night and if and when he would tell him, it would only confirm the fact that their fear was very real indeed. Michael sighed and prayed for a miracle that would grant them an easier life.

Sam woke up to the sound of bird singing, the air in the room was fresh, a cool wind from the open window swept over his face. He opened his eyes and smiled when looking at his fiancé, who stood in front of the window staring out into their garden. He had only a thin, white sheet covering his body, leaving his back naked, hanging loosely over his buttocks, looking like it could fall down at any moment. The room was bathing in the bright light of the spring morning.

Sam kept looking at his lover, staying silent, not wanting to break the moment. Michael looked so beautiful and he wanted to store the image of him firmly in his mind. He remembered the previous night and of how scared he had been when he had thought that he would find both Kitty and Michael dead. The mere thought of it almost made him cry again. It was funny of how dependent you could become on someone; it was amazing how much you could love someone. Michael had become his life, so essential a part of it, that if he was taken from him, Sam wouldn’t know how to continue his life anymore, how to find the strength to go on.

“Good morning love.” Sam said finally and Michael turned around slowly, smiled at him.


”Come here.” Sam asked reaching out to him. Michael placed his tea cup down; he let the sheet fall down once he reached the bedside. Sam pulled him close and kissed his lips. Michael touched his unshaven cheek, which felt slightly rough; he pressed his lips against it.

“I’m sorry about last night; I must have scared you crying like some baby.”

“There’s no need to apologize, how many times have I cried against you?” Michael smiled. Sam smiled back and then he turned more serious. He looked into his eyes.

“Caleb was harassing you yesterday, why didn’t you tell me?” Michael looked at him with surprise, then with embarrassment.

“When did you find out?”

“He told me.” Sam answered.

“I’m sorry, I just… I feel like I cause nothing but worry for you, I didn’t want to complicate things between you and your friends. Nothing bad happened.”

“It wasn’t your fault and Caleb is not my friend, if he was, then he wouldn’t have touched you.” Sam said pulling him even closer. “We promised to tell each other everything.” Sam reminded him. Michael nodded his head and wrapped his arms around him.

“Kitty asked me, when you and I would get married.” Michael whispered.

“What did you tell her?” Sam smiled.

“I told her that we haven’t discussed about it yet. So what do you think Sam?”

“Well I didn’t just propose to you out of fun you know.” Sam grinned. “I want you and I want our relationship to be official.” Sam kissed him palm.

“And I want you; want you in an official way, all the ways possible.” Michael grinned and placed his leg between Sam’s legs. He smiled feeling his morning erection against his leg. “Someone is awake,” He whispered, snuggling against Sam.

“mmmmmm…Darn, I have to go visit the bathroom…I think I’ll use the cold water too.” Sam sighed and nipped his bottom lip. “But hold that thought dear, I’ll come back soon.” Sam whispered, gave him a kiss on the cheek and stood up. Michael turned on his back and looked at him seductively.

“I’ll be waiting…” He whispered with a flirting manner. Oh how much Sam wanted him; he cursed the call of nature. He hurried into the bathroom so that he could return to Michael as soon as possible.

Chapter 52.

A boy leaned against the wall, his hands covering his ears. He sang very quietly, whispering the words of a song that he remembered from long time ago, a song that his late grandmother had once sang to him. He swayed his body back and forth.

“You fucking whore! I’ve had enough!” A man yelled, a woman screamed. The boy heard a thumb, more screaming, he couldn’t hear the words properly, nor did he care to hear them.

Small steps rumbled across the wooden floor and the boy looked up.

“I’m scared Jean.” A small girl with long raven black hair and a white night gown, whispered to her brother. The boy opened up his arms and the small girl rushed into his embrace.

“Don’t worry Nicole, I’ll protect you.” The boy promised.

The shouting and screaming continued on and this was nothing new. It was beginning to be more and more frequent. Their father would drink too much and then begin to shout at his wife. More often than enough the woman would end up with bruises because of it. Their father was a bitter man, an alcoholic, incapable of loving his family in a normal way. His children would also get their share of his anger from time to time.

As parents, they both had failed. The mother couldn’t love her children in a way that a mother should. Children were a burden to her, shackles that bound her to her wretched man and she missed her long passed beauty and youth. She felt empty inside her, it was true, that she cheated on her husband, that poor excuse of a man, who kept beating her up. Someday she knew that she would leave, she had known it from the day that her youngest one had born, when things had taken a turn for the worse.

The boy held the crying girl against his chest. He was only nine years old and already he was more of an adult to his five year old sister, than their own parents were. But the boy loved his sister, life was hard, but at least they had each others. Laurent, their older brother had run away six months earlier. The 15-year old boy hadn’t been able to take the family hell any longer and so he had ran. Later Jean had found out more reason to why their brother had left, abandoning them completely.

“Take care of Nicole, I trust you Jean.” Laurent had said to him that night, before he had left. The boy had cried after his older brother. Laurent had been his rock for so long, and the boy hadn’t known if he would ever hear from his brother again.

That weekend, after Laurent had left, his father had walked into his bedroom at night, waking him up. The man had had a revolting smell of booze all over him, he had sat on his bed side and the boy had looked at his father in confusion.

“Jean, my darling little boy, do you know how much I love you?” the man had asked and Jean had nodded his head insecurely, he hadn’t known. “Let me show you just how much I love you.” The man had breathed out and placed his hand on something hard in his pants. The boy had wept in confusion and fear as the man, which was his father, had touched him in places that no one else had touched ever before; the man’s breathing had become harsh. Inside the boy knew that a father should not touch his child in a way that his dad did.

In school, nothing had been better. The boy had barely any friends. Everyone looked at him in a funny way, they teased him because he was ’different’ and the boy hated each of them; he hated the jocks, he hated the most popular boys and the most popular girls. His only true friend had been his sister, his darling Nicole.

Time went on; Jean was ten when his mother finally left them.

“Be a good boy Jean, and take care of your sister.” The woman had whispered to her half sleeping scion. Jean remembered how the door had slammed shut after her. Just as Laurent, his mother had never returned and this left the young boy alone to take his fathers love, the only form of ’love’ that the man could give.

Love hurt; that was what his father had taught him.

6-year Nicole got seriously ill. The heart of the young girl had apparently always been a weak one and eventually the pneumonia had taken her with it. Jean blamed himself for his sister’s death. If he hadn’t gone out that one rainy September night, Nicole wouldn’t have gone out looking for him. Nicole wouldn’t have left outside bare foot, dressed only in a thin night gown. His beloved sister had passed away and left him alone, just as the rest of the family. Only six months after Nicole’s death, his father drank for the last time. “Alcohol poisoning.” He had heard them say. The boy had cried for his daddy; for the man that had ’loved’ him

And so, 11-year old Jean was sent to live with his aunt and her family. To those who asked; he would always answer that he had been born in Paris, for he wanted to forget about his past, he wanted to forget about the family from which each member had eventually abandoned him, from which no one had loved him enough to stay. His real birth place, the home of his earlier childhood; a small village in mid France, was always left forgotten when he told about himself. Later, only two of his friends knew his real past; Patrick, who he had met soon after his move to Paris and Erick, the man who had tried to help him, the man who once had tried to love him.

At the age of 24, Jean moved to United States and met Sebastian; a 20-year old American. Sebastian had been a gifted music student; playing the violin. Jean had heard him playing once and fell in love with the music and the beautiful boy playing it. To his amaze Sebastian had noticed him as well and he too had felt for Jean, who at the time had studied arts.

The couple had been happy, they had lived together and they had loved. Their happiness had lasted for two years and then all had been broken. That one hot summer day of 1995, when Jean had arrived home earlier than usually, he had found his darling Sebastian in bed with another man. Sebastian had moaned in ecstasy as he had been riding on the lap of a stranger and Jean had looked at the scene with shock, unable to move. His heart had been broken and still, after all those years, he could remember Sebastian’s shocked _expression as he had seen his boyfriend witnessing his unfaithfulness.

Sebastian had begged for his forgiveness and sworn that he would do anything, but Jean had thrown his ex-lover out of his apartment. That night he had walked into a bar, thinking that he would drink his head full and forget or at least try and to forget. Sullen thoughts had filled his mind; all those, who he had ever loved, cheated and stabbed him in his back, or then they just left him.

That night he had met Richard Matthews and that night he had become acquainted with a new side of himself, a side that had waited to rise to surface for many years. Ricky introduced the meaning of true power to him and having the taste of it once; Jean had known that he needed more of it. Sebastian had been the first one, who had had the questionable honour to meet with the new side of him. After telling the story of Sebastian and him to Ricky, the man had lured him to action.

“Are you going to let him get away with it, just like that? That slut cheated on you, show him who’s the boss. Avenge his unfaithfulness.” Ricky had spoken and Jean had swallowed the hook.

He invited Sebastian to his place and the younger man had arrived, hoping that Jean would forgive him. They had had a splendid supper; they had drunk some wine and Sebastian had begun to believe that Jean would indeed forgive him.

Jean had lured him into the bedroom and asked that Sebastian would undress himself. The young man had granted him the wish. “Lay down, on your back.” Jean had told him and again; Sebastian had done just as he had wished. Jean had taken out the handcuffs. “Do you trust me?” Jean had asked with a smile on his lips.

“I trust you.” Sebastian had smiled back and he had let Jean to shackle him. Jean had bounded his mouth with a scarf and Sebastian had let him do that without a fight.

“Your screaming might wake up the neighbours, and we don’t want that, now do we?” Jean had told him and smiled in a way that had made cold shivers ran down on Sebastian’s back. Then Jean had bounded a leather chains on his knee bends, robes attached to them had been bound tightly onto the bed posts as well, leaving poor Sebastian’s legs open and his cherry ready for use. The young man had looked at him without the ability to talk or move properly. Jean had leaned in closer.

“My love, maybe you shouldn’t trust a man that you have just cheated on.” Jean had whispered and seen Sebastian’s eyes widening from the sudden fear. Jean had only continued smiling to him

The door to the bedroom had opened and Jean had looked at Ricky with growing lust and need. Sebastian; now realizing the trap that he had walked straight into, had tried to move, tried to shout for help, but failing. Ricky and Jean had kissed, undressed each others and all Sebastian had been able to do; was to watch in fear of what would follow; both men had suddenly turned and stared at him, started kissing his bare skin and eventually both men had raped him brutally. Jean had become drunk with power; he had been drunk of Ricky.

Ricky had introduced him to a darkness that still held him. For one and a half years he had become predisposed to a world where everything was allowed to achieve your own pleasure. It had changed him, there was no return. Moment by moment that world had eaten him up to the darker side, where there was little hope of escaping.

Then something had happened; Ricky stopped calling him, he had travelled, gone to England for a business trip, or so the man had told him; he had been gone for a month and with him, Ricky had brought a new toy; a beautiful toy that he had wanted to play a different kind of game with and to this game; Jean hadn’t been allowed to join.

For three and a half years Jean had thought of nothing but revenge and finally he had returned to New York. When he had seen Ricky’s new toy, the boy’s beauty had dazzled him. He remembered clearly how the boy had danced, his movements so graceful; so alluring. And when the boy had noticed him, when he had looked at him, Jean had known that he would not get any peace before he would have had him. What would have been the better revenge, than to take that beautiful toy away from his former teacher and to play with it by himself? What Jean hadn’t guessed; was that he would fall in love.

The first time that he had made love with Michael; the boy had wept. Jean remembered how it had felt like to lay on top of him, how it had felt like to touch him, to hold him. He remembered the funny feeling inside of him, like something old had been awaken in him. Michael had been everything that he had once dreamed of, he had been the angel; all that presented good and he had needed him. No one had needed Jean in that way for so many years, no one had believed in him like Michael had.

Yes, Jean had loved him. Yes, there was a man in him that would never have hurt the angel he beheld, but the demons in his life and in Michael’s life made him see a side that was not real. Something had changed. Other men noticed his love the same way that he did, they wanted him and Michael had flirted. Jean had watched this game. ’Whore… Show that whore who’s the boss; do not let him get away with it…’ The voice in his head had begun to whisper more and more often. And with terror he had waited for the moment when he would find his loved one, in a bed with another man; just as he had found Sebastian.

Michael had been excited when he had gotten the job in the restaurant, Jean hadn’t shared his joy. “You only want to spend as little time with me as you can, you want to meet with new people, new lovers.” Jean had accused him.

“It’s not true. I wish you could trust me Jean.” Michael had answered. “I thought you’d be happy for me.”Michael had added with quiet voice. When Jean had seen the disappointment on his face, he had captured him in his arms.

“I am happy for you. I am sorry for what I said. I trust you, but I do not trust other men with you.”

“I would never cheat on you Jean, I hope you know that?”
 they had kissed.

Sometimes, during his days off, Jean had come and visited Michael’s work place. He had sat in a table next to the window and followed closely his lovers working

“Jean, why are you always here? Do we not see each others often enough at home?” Michael had once asked him, sounding a bit agitated.

“You’re flirting with customers, I do not like it.” Jean had told him, Michael had sighed deeply.

“I am a waiter; my job is to smile and to be polite to the customers; that is what you see, nothing else.”

”You should smile less; there’s plenty of ways to smile and you? You flirt. I saw that one woman giving you some kind of note, what was it?”

“It was her phone number, I took it out of politeness, and I’ll throw it away though. What is it that you fear? That I turn straight and start calling after her?”
 Michael had asked him sounding annoyed.

“There are other men who are also giving their numbers to you, how can I know what you’re doing to them? There must be some men who…”

”I really can not do this anymore Jean; I have to get back to work.”
 Michael had told him and left him sitting there on his own, There was more than one pair of eyes following Michael; Jean had felt the jealousy boiling inside him.

Then Sam had stepped into Michael’s life and soon enough everything had began to change and break down little by little. Jean remembered how Michael had smiled when talking to Sam on the phone, the dreamy look in his eyes when ever he had been in Sam’s company. Late at night, when they had laid in bed together Jean had often wondered; would Michael think about him or would he be thinking about Samuel?

More and more often, Michael would refuse to have sex and more often then not; Jean would need all the willpower that he could get to respect that wish. Deep inside him; Jean had felt the darkness to raise it’s ugly head. ’He cheats and then he leaves you, just like the others. Show that whore who’s the boss!’

Sam visited them more often and Michael was always the happiest near him. Jean had looked at them from afar; Sam would say something to Michael and he would always look at him straight in the eyes, interested, a smile playing on his lips, Michael’s beautiful laughter, the way that they had acted with one another. The way that Sam looked at Michael; the way his gaze always concentrated on his lips when Michael talked. Jean had seen it long before the words had been spoken, long before that night. The jealousy had nearly driven him mad and eventually it had.

And now the memories were haunting him, they were haunting his dreams as well as his thoughts, no moment of peace. Obsession; Michael was his obsession. He couldn’t think of anything else, he couldn’t want anyone else.

“I love you Jean… I want to be close to you, but you never let me… I want to know you truly, but you never speak… I love you Jean, talk to me.” His voice, the constant whispers in his head, the memories, and the painful memories; “Jean you’re scaring me…hurting me… Jean, please, stop…” Michael is crying.

Michael sneaks up into the bedroom in the morning. “I made you some breakfast.” He lowers the platter down, on his lap, snuggles closer. “I love you Jean.” Jean kisses the younger one, the breakfast is left forgotten on the floor, Michael moans, Jean undresses him; his body is perfect and Jean never grows tired of it. He loves the noises that Michael makes when you push into him with strength. He loves to hold the younger, lighter man beneath him firmly. He loved the sounds that he made, loves them still. When Michael met Sam, he stopped telling him that he loved him

Jean falls into a deep sleep, and sees the dream that he has seen for many nights. In his dream Michael sits on a bed, in a middle of a room.

“I waited for you” He says and holds out his hands.

Jean rips his clothes off and takes him with force. Michael moans under him, his body becoming one with his. “I love you Jean.” Michael whispers and Jean kisses him. He worships his body, the way that his neck arches back in ecstasy.

“Will you be mine?” Jean asks.

“Yes, only yours.” Michael whispers and Jean rams into him with more strength. Michael screams and surrenders into his arms. And when Jean finally awakes, his boxers are wet from semen and he can hardly wait the day that his dream is true. “Soon Cherie, soon…” He whispers and smiles to the darkness.

Chapter 53.


”Happy easter my dear!” Mrs. Grey pulled her son into a warm hug and kissed his cheek. After she had released her hold, she turned her focus on his fiencé.
“Michael, darling, so nice to see you.” She hugged and kissed his cheek as well. “Have you been well?” She asked looking at him closely.
“I’ve been fine Mrs. Grey and you?” Michael smiled
“Do not be so formal dear, I wish you would call me by my first name by now, you are family after all.” The woman smiled.
“Forgive me Ella. I’ll do better next time.”
“There, that sounds better.” She pinched Michael’s cheek motherly. Michael looked at Sam’s amused face in confusion.

“Have you been eaten enough dear, you’re still looking so thin?” Ella asked looking at his figure, her hands on both of his sides. “I can even feel your ribs through. Sam, are you feeding him enough? You should take better care of your boyfriend.” Ella scolded her son.

“Um. I think that you’re suppose to feel the ribs, but not see them…” Michael pointed out carefully before Sam had time to answer. Sam was holding in a laughter. Ella looked at Michael thoughtfully.

“You should still eat more, you’re thinner than you were last summer.” The woman told him.
“Alright mother I see that he eats more, I promise.” Sam’s voice was amused when he said it. Michael glanced at him, but didn’t say a word.

Sam’s father Edward stepped in after his wife.
“I was admiring your garden; spring has come early this year.” The man said with a smile. He hugged his son and then Michael, slapping their backs.
“Are you eating enough boy?” Edward asked and Michael sighed with frustration, but because he didn’t want to be rude to Sam’s parents, he smiled kindly to the man; after all they only meant good.

“I’m eating enough. I’m just smaller build than Sam, that’s all.” He told them and eyed his boyfriend. There wasn’t such a big size difference between them, but Sam was slightly taller and more muscular than him. Sam’s body had changed from the time that they had first met each others; he had started working out even more, gaining more strength in his upper body. Michael knew that the reason for this change was Sam’s worry of him.

Michael too had started working out more, it was true that he had lost weight since his kidnap; almost 7kg and now he wanted his former strength back. He would have to be stronger before Jean would come for him, he just didn’t know how he could ever over power the man. Fretfully he had thought about their difference in weight; Jean weighted almost 20kg more than him, and Jean was almost a head taller than him. Michael himself wasn’t even that short. One could think that with the height of 180cm, he could beat the most, but for some reason, all the men in his life were taller than him –extremely frustrating, and now they even had the guts to remind him of his small weight. Michael would have wanted to weight more than he did at the moment, but his appetite still hadn’t returned to the level it once had been and after the shooting he hadn’t been able to work out as hard as he had before. Now most of his exercise were of dancing and horse back riding.

He woke from his thoughts when Sam wrapped his arm over his shoulders.
“Earth calls Micha.” Michael looked up, meeting with Sam’s eyes. There was a loving smile on his lips.
“My parents went to the living room already, come.” Michael took the offered hand, returned the smile and followed him into the room.

“Are your parents arriving soon?” Ella asked once they had sat down on the opposite couch. Michael glanced at the clock on the wall.
“They’ll be here in a half an hour, I think.” He answered with a smile.
“Would you like a glass of wine?” Sam asked.
“Yes please.” Ella answered for the both of them. Sam stood up and poured some red wine for everyone, he then sat back down next to his lover.

Michael looked at the clock.
“I’m sorry, I’ll have to go and check the supper. I’ll come back soon.” He said and stood up.

“How is he really doing?” Ella asked once Michael had left the room.
“He’s getting better, better by each day.” Sam told her and tasted the wine.
“That’s good to hear, is he still seeing that therapist?”
“Yes, it helps him to talk about it to someone outsider.” Sam answered with a quiet voice. Michael hadn’t talked about it with him much, and when ever something reminded him of the incident, Michael would fell silent, he would stare into the emptiness with glazed eyes as if disappearing for awhile into some darker place.

Sam didn’t know if would he be able to just listen quietly as his lover would tell him more about those horrid days of his kidnapping, he didn’t know would he be able to find the right words to bring him comfort. It was painful even for himself to remember those days in October, when he remembered the worry, remembered seeing Michael laying unconscious on the hospital bed , when he remembered those two police officers and what Michael had told them. The trial; Richard Matthews and his black eyes, the man had smiled to him, while giving his own testimony and Sam had felt sick; the devil had finally gotten a face.

Sam wondered if they should just sit down together and talk about it truthfully. But it just seemed that their worries would never come to an end. Jean was still out there complicating their life’s. And Sam didn’t want to think about what was to come, not too much anyway. He was scared. It was easier to live day by day, it was easier to act as though everything would be fine, live like all the others, talk about work, talk about family and friends, laugh together with them.

But still; the fear was always on their minds; they could loose each others at any moment and at the same time they were haunted by what had happened in October, the unspoken things. At times it felt so heavy that Sam wasn’t sure of how long they would last under that burden. Maybe they should just lay all their fears on the table and face them. Speak out loud. Sam sighed and stared at the wine glass in his hand. Why did everything have to be so hard for them?

“Samuel, darling, is everything alright?” His mother asked with worry. Sam looked at her, smiled. He decided to forget about his worries for that night at least. He just wanted so badly that everything would turn out alright, that Jean would just disappear, die, or at least be caught and send to jail. He hoped that all of them would just stay there for the rest of their life’s.
“Yes, I just got lost in my own thoughts. Everything is alright.” Sam told her and forced a smile.


20 minutes later Evelyn and Henry arrived. They had met only once before with Sam’s parents, when Michael had been in the hospital. The time had been totally wrong for them to get to know each others better; they had all been too sick with worry. Tonight was different.

Evelyn smiled nervously when meeting Ella’s eyes. Unlike the first time that they had met, Evelyn was now very much aware of how rich Samuel’s parents were. She took a deep, calming breath, fixed the hem of her dress and walked closer with her husband on her side.

Henry looked at his wife with a smile, noticing how nervous she felt. Evelyn had changed her clothes about twenty times before they had finally left the house and she had spend almost two hours doing her hair and makeup. Henry would never learn to get that. If someone would ask him, he would say that his wife needed no make-up. Still, at the age of 45, Evelyn was stunningly beautiful woman, looking much younger than her true age

Evelyn reached out her hand to greet Ella, but instead of a handshake, Ella hugged her,
“I’ve been waiting to meet with you again.” Ella smiled. “In happier circumstances than last time.” The woman whispered after, when she saw Michael stepping into the room. Henry and Edward shook each others hands, Henry then greeted Ella the same way and Edward kissed Evelyn’s palm with a polite compliment of her beauty.

Michael sat next to Sam and followed quietly to the conversation that their parents were having. Ella and his mother were admiring each others hair and dresses.
“You look so beautiful Evelyn. Have you done your hair yourself?”
“Yes.” Evelyn smiled and moved a lock of hair behind her ear.
“Oh you are so skilled…” Ella admired and his mother blushed at this.

Their fathers were having a conversation about the weather. Michael looked at Sam.
“Does this feel at all strange to you?” He asked with a whisper. Sam laughed seeing the look on his face.
“Strange? How so?”
”Well, our fathers are talking about the weather and our mothers… Well, just look at them.” Sam turned his eyes on the two women, who were still complimenting each others look. Evelyn was slowly staring to get over from her nervous state, but Ella’s eager complimenting still seemed to make her somewhat embarrassed. Sam smiled. Maybe he should ask his mother to take it down a little.

”Sam will you come and help me set the table? If you think that I’m going to do everything by myself then you’re wrong.” Michael said standing up, he grinned seeing Sam’s expression.
“Well I didn’t think that you would, the only reason that I stayed away from the kitchen earlier, was because I didn’t want to spoil the supper by doing something stupid.” Sam explained when following him into the kitchen. Michael chuckled.

“Well luckily you can handle the dishes…” Michael smiled and handed the plates for him. “I’m a chef, not the one to set the table.” He added. Sam sighed, smiled and took the plates from his hands. He gave a quick kiss on Michael’s cheek.
“What was that for?” Michael asked with a smile.

“For being you.” He told him and smiled back.

Later that evening, they sat in front of the dinner table, finishing their supper.
“This was really delicious, Sam was right; you are a great cook.” Ella complimented. Michael smiled. Others were thanking him as well.
“Thank you. I’m glad you like.”
“Where have you learned to cook like this? From your mother?” Ella asked looking at Evelyn.
“I think that my son’s gift comes from my mother rather than me.” Evelyn told her.
“My mother is just being too modest, she is a great cook.” Michael told them, looking at his mother and smiling to her. He stood up from the table and this time he didn’t even have to ask Sam’s help.

“Good boy, you’re learning.” Michael teased once they came into the kitchen.
“Do I get a some kind of a price now?” Sam grinned.
“We’ll see how the evening goes. There’s a tray, the desert is in the fridge. You can go on and serve them.”
“You’re so bossy…” Sam joked, kissed his neck and then did as he had wished.

They sat back in front of the table.
“Do you like to hunt Henry?“ Edward asked tasting his brandy.
“It’s been awhile since I’ve last gone out haunting. I think it was back in Ireland, when I was a young man.” Henry told him.
“How about foxhaunting, ever tried?” Edward asked with curiosity. Henry glanced quickly towards his wife an son knowing what they thought of foxhunting, he then looked back at Edward.
“No, never tried that.” He told him.
“Well then, we will have to fix that now don’t we? You and your wife are welcomed to join us some weekend at summer. We’ll invite a bigger group, take horses and head out to hunting. If I have understood correctly, you’ve grown up in a horse ranch? So I’m sure you can ride a horse?”
“Yes I can.”
“And you Evelyn?” Edward looked at the woman.
“I can ride, but I’m not sure if I want to join.” She told him carefully.
“Michael, Sam, you’ll join us too won’t you?” Sam was about to answer, but Michael was faster.

“No thank you, I have no wish to join in the slaughter of a poor innocent creature.” Michael told him quickly, not caring if he sounded rude or not. Sam nudged his side and looked at him in a disapproving manner.
“Well you can go Sam, if you wish. I just think that foxhunting is terribly gruel and should be forbidden all together. I will not just sit here and pretend that I approve of it, just so that I could please others.” Michael told them calmly and tasted his wine. He looked at his parents; who were begging him with their eyes to stay quiet. Edward laughed.

”Foxhunting is an age old British tradition, it would be a shame to forbid it completely like they are planning on doing.” The man was looking at him.
“I know, but even though something is a tradition, it doesn’t mean that it’s a good one, all traditions simply aren’t good ones. Hunting is acceptable as long as one hunts for food, but foxhunting; it’s only purpose is to entertain people by the hurt of one helpless animal. I am sorry Mr. Grey, I’m not saying this to offend anyone, I’m just telling my own opinion. How would you feel if you had a herd of dogs chasing after you, just waiting to tear you into pieces? A pretty painful death I’d say.” Michael continued.

“I think you’ve had enough of wine dear.” Sam said and tried to move the wine glass away from his fiancé, but Michael stopped him.
“I have not drank more than the others have.” Michael said, looking at Sam and lifting the glass up to his lips. Edward was already opening his mouth when Sam suddenly stood up.
“Right, well, why don’t we move to sit in the living room?”
“Yes, why don’t we.” Henry and Evelyn replied as if speaking with the same mouth and stood up as well.
“I can help Michael with the dishes, you can go.” Evelyn suggested.

After everyone else had left them, Evelyn looked at her son for a long time. Michael didn’t say a word, just piled up the dishes looking tense. Evelyn took some dished in her hands and walked into the kitchen after Michael.
“You should be more careful with that mouth of yours dear.” She told him quietly. Michael rinsed the dishes and placed them into the dishwasher. He glanced at his mother.
“Well, they’re the parents of your fiancé and they are…”
“They are what mother? Rich? What difference does it make? You should know me well enough by now; I was just telling my own opinion of the subject. Why should I lie to them, by telling them that I think it’s okay when I really don’t think that it is? And you mother, I know you agree with me about it.
“But the way you said it… you should have been more polite about it.” Evelyn spoke firmly, Michael turned to look at her, Evelyn sighed, touched his cheek. “I know my son, I know that you speak your mind just like my mother did. There is so much of Isabella in you… But my darling, my sweet Michael; there are times though, when you should just keep your thoughts to yourself. Think of Samuel, they are his parents, show some respect for them.”
“I do respect them, but I’m still not going to stay silent of what I’m thinking. Do not ask me to do it, for I can not. I’ve done it long enough, I’ve stayed silent for long enough. Mother… you must understand.” Evelyn hugged her son tightly.
“I do, I understand.”


“Dad, I’m sorry, Michael didn’t mean to sound so rude, he just, well… perhaps he just drank too much wine.” Sam told his father quietly.
“I’m sorry too for my son, his mouth seems to run away with him sometimes. He meant no harm, I can assure you.” Henry said then, making Sam feel slightly embarrassed, for he hadn’t meant for Henry to hear his apology.
Edward, for the surprise of both of them, started to laugh.
“Oh, there is really no need t apologize. I must say Sam, finally you’ve made a good choice, I like him. Finally someone to speak their mind.” Edward said, looking at his sons surprised face. “I only think that it’s a good sign, he feels comfortable enough with you and with us, not to feel the need to pretend… Not all have to like foxhunting and I promise that I’ll never bother your boyfriend with it again. Keep a hold of him Sam, with him, you never get bored, I’m sure of it.” Edward smiled to his son.
“I must agree Samuel, he is just lovely.” Ella confirmed and Henry couldn’t help but to smile when hearing his son being complimented. Soon enough, Sam was also smiling with pride.

“Where will you spend the night?” Michael asked his mother when they were leaving.
“We’ll go to a hotel, your father has booked a suite for us. We plan to go dancing.” Evelyn said, giggling like a school girl.
“Have fun then.” Michael whispered, hugged her and kissed her cheek.
“We will, see you next week darling.”
“Okay.” Michael hugged his dad as well. And after saying their goodbyes to the others Evelyn and Henry left. The car for Edward and Ella arrived soon after. Sam accompanied them to outside, watching as their car pulled off from the driveway.

He walked upstairs and into the bedroom where he found his fiancé. Michael looked angry when their eyes met, he pulled the bedspread off, with more drama than necessary.
“Well, this was an interesting night.” Sam said, looking at him, undressing his shirt. He placed the shirt back into the wardrobe, took his watch of and placed it on the table.
“Indeed it was.” Michael snorted.

“Why are you snapping at me for? I’m the one who should be angry, you could have been more friendly to my father.” Sam told him, when in reality it really didn’t bother him anymore, all that did bother him; was Michael’s attitude. The other acted as though he would have done something really afful.
“I just told him my opinion and you…you immediately start saying: ’Oh my, my, Michael must have drank too much, I must apologize for his behavior, when his so dumb that he can’t do it himself.” Michael snapped throwing some extra pillows from the bed. Sam sighed.

”We’re not really fighting about this, are we?” Sam asked, Michael looked at him angrily, tapping the pillows with such a fury that Sam almost felt sorry for them.
“So apparently the answer is yes? Alright. I don’t think that it was at all proper to start argue in the dinner table like that. Fox hunting happens to be something that my father greatly enjoys doing and I think that it’s not always necessary to speak your own opinion about things in such manner. You could have politely refused like your mother did.” Sam said and took off his jeans.
“And you Sam? You think that foxhunting is okay then? Have you been with them in such a trips?” Michael asked seeming a bit upset.

“What the hell does it matter even if I have been? It was the environment that I grew up in and yes, when I was younger I was with them. It doesn’t mean that I like it, it means that I wanted to spend time with my relatives and friends. And what kind of animal activist have you suddenly become?” Sam’s voice tightened, he shook his jeans and then folded them, placing them into the wardrobe as well.
“Well, I’m terribly sorry Samuel, for feeling for those poor animals, but I’ve been that fox and I know how it feels like when a heard of bigger beings want to rip you to pieces. And let me assure you, it is everything but fun!” Michael snapped, he took his pillow and blanket from the bed and headed towards the door. “I am not sleeping next to you this night, I’ll go to one of the guestrooms.” He said, but stopped once he had reached the door, he looked at Sam and then walked closer to him. “No, why should I sleep in another room? You can go else where.” Michael said then and shove the pillow and the blanket in Sam’s arms. He then walked back over to the bed and sat on the edge of it. “Good night.” He said. Sam sighed and without a word, he left the room.

Sam seek out a room for himself and made the bed. “This is what you get from taking a mix of Spanish and Irish as your mate.” He sighed to himself as he laid down. He stared at the ceiling wondering why on earth had he gotten along in such a childish fight. On the other hand, just as his father had told him, this was, in some weird way, a sign that Michael was getting better. Michael was feeling save enough with him, that he could argue with him. He thought months back, thought about October and how scared and jumpy Michael had been when he had been released home from the hospital and now that same young man had just minutes back yelled at him, insisted that he should sleep in another room over a stupid little fight that they had had; a fight about…foxes? Sam couldn’t help but to smile; yes, Michael was indeed starting to get better.

Sam close his eyes, turned to lay on his side and turned around again. He laid on his back, listened to the steady clicking of the clock, it only seemed to get louder; what an annoying sound. He turned around again, took the other pillow and squeezed it against his chest. He sighed, opened his eyes and stared at the wall in front of him; Great, he thought, he couldn’t fall a sleep, he couldn’t get sleep without Michael next to him.

Michael whirled around in the bed, he had never really understood how big it was until now, it really was large. He close his eyes and the silence in the room felt almost pressing. And he felt a lot colder than usually. He moved to the center of the bed; something was missing. He turned to lay on his back and stared at the ceiling. Listening the quietness that suddenly broke, he was almost sure that he heard something from downstairs. His heart was beading wildly, he looked at Sam’s side of the bed feeling regretful that he had driven him away from the bed that they usually shared.

Another strange sound. Michael sat up, wrapped a thin coverlet on him and padded across the floor to the door. The door creaked as he opened it and he thought that he should remind Sam to oil the hinges. He looked at the dark corridor, listened quietly. Finally he dared to move away from the doorway. He tried to see in the dark, he hated dark. Little by little his eyes adjusted and he began to see more clearly. He moved quietly, looking at all the different doors. He wondered which room Sam had chosen and at the same time wondered why on earth did they have such a big house, they would never need all of the rooms in it.
“Sam…” He called finally and understood that he would have to use more voice. “Sam?” He called again, moving forward.

One of the doors opened. Sam leaned against the doorway, folded his arms against his chest and smiled with a questioning eyebrow. Michael walked closer to him.

“I can’t sleep without you.” Michael whispered. “Will you forgive me for being silly?” He asked then. Sam still smiled, reached out his hand for him, which Michael took. He pulled him close and they kissed.
“I think that we were both silly and I couldn’t sleep without you either.” Sam whispered, backing away into the room and pulling Michael gently from his hand to follow him. “Come on fox boy.” Sam grinned and slapped his bottom gently, Michael smiled. They laid together on the bed and kissed again.

“That might have been the most silliest fight that we have ever had.” Sam sighed, stroking Michael’s hair.
“Yes, it was.” Michael admitted giving him a soft kiss on his lips.
“Somehow I got the feeling that we weren’t really fighting over foxes just now.” Sam whispered after staying quiet for awhile. They turned to lay so that Sam’s chest was against Michael’s back, Sam kissed his neck and felt how Michael was drawing lazy circles on his palm with his fingers.
“I…” He started, but didn’t know how to continue.
“Jean, you’re afraid of him.” Sam said quietly and saw Michael nodding his head slowly.
“I am scared and I’ve been stressed out because of this situation and I… I take it out on you, because you’re close. I know that it isn’t right.” Michael whispered, Sam pulled him even closer to himself.
“People do that, take it out to a person that is the closest. I understand that, don’t worry. You can yell at me all you like and I still know that you don’t love me any less than before, quite the opposite… I’m scared too you know.” Sam whispered.
“Do you mind if we talk about this later Sam?…I’m tired.” Michael asked gazing into the darkness.

“Alright.” Sam kissed his shoulder, Michael still held his hand.
“I love you.” He whispered, closing his eyes.
“And I you.” Sam whispered back and laid his head on the pillow, close to Michael. They would talk later.

Chapter 54.

”Lisa called, she’s leaving to Greece next week with her husband, and she asked if we could take care of Joshua while they’re gone. The person who was suppose to take him, canceled just now… So, what do you think?” Sam asked once he had gotten off the phone. Michael, who sat on the couch reading, looked up to him and smiled.
“Why not. Joshua is a nice kid, I think we can manage a week with him.” He said.
“Yes, I hope so. Well, it would be nice to spend more time with my nephew… I’ll call her back and tell it’s okay ” Sam smiled back, in reality he was a bit scared of how he would be able to take care of a four year old. Day’s spend with Joshua, had passed by alright, but then there had been his parents near if needed. But then he remembered, how great Michael was with Joshua, so he thought that they would manage just fine.


“Uncle, uncle, where is my room?” The little blond boy asked enthusiastically when rushing in.
“Joshua Oliver Hammond, do you remember what we discussed about at home?” Lisa asked from her son.
“Must behave good?” He suggested.
“That’s right.” Lisa answered. “And were you behaving nicely just now?” She asked, the boy bend his head to the side and swayed his little body back and forth.
“No mother.”

”I’m sorry uncle.” He muttered, Sam ruffled his hair and smiled.
“It’s okay little fellow.” He said with gentle voice.
“Where’s uncle Michael?” The boy asked then, looking around.
“He’s still sleeping, what if you go and wake his lazy ass up.” Sam grinned.
“At this hour?! Yes, I’ll go and wake him up!” Joshua shrieked enthusiastically and rushed towards the stairs. Sam laughed and then looked at his sister.
“Would you like a cup of tea?”
“I can’t stay long, but I always have the time for one cup of tea.” Lisa smiled and followed her brother into the kitchen.

Lisa looked at the time, it was almost one in the afternoon.
“How can he be sleeping at this hour?” She asked with a smile. Their whole family had always been morning persons, they had never been able to understand the joy of sleeping late in the afternoon, only time when they slept late was when they were sick. Sam turned to look at her and smiled.
“Well, I guess he’s taking back the sleeping debt that he has… Although, I have heard, that he has always loved seeping late and because of that was often in the danger of missing the first classes of school.” Sam grinned.


“Uncle Michael wake up, wake up Micha.” Michael opened his eyes lazily when feeling someone shaking his arm andcalling his name. He glanced at his side and saw Joshua.
“Good morning little one.” He muttered.
“Good morning?! It’s noon already, you’re such a sleepy head!” The boy laughed.
“I guess I am.” Michael smiled.
“Father said that gentlemen don’t sleep late.” The boy told him. Michael yawned, keeping his palm over his mouth.
“I guess I’m not a gentleman then.” He grinned.
“You are, but you must wake up earlier… Get up, I’ll show you my new toys!” The boy jumped off from the bed. “Come on, come on!” Michael slowly stood up.

“Can I dress my jeans on first?” He asked with a laughter, when the boy had already taken his hand and started pulling him towards the door.
“Oh okay… but hurry!”


”Joshua hasn’t talked about anything beside coming here this whole week. He seems to be totally in love with Michael; Michael this and Michael that.” Lisa laughed. “Well it’s no wonder, he always has the energy to play with him, he’s good with children.”
“Should I feel jealous perhaps?” Sam grinned. He looked at his boyfriend and his nephew, who were playing with toy cars on the living room floor. Michael looked up to him, grinned and shook his head with a soft laughter as Joshua spoke out loud while playing.

”You can play with these.” Joshua told Michael and gave him few cars and a mini soldier. “That one could go over there and then this would come from here and they would crash.” Joshua made a crashing sound and lift the toy car up into the air. “Now we need to take them to the garage, to get them fixed.” Joshua explained.
“Who is going to fix them?”
“He is, he’s the repairman and there’s the garage.” Joshua pointed at the soldier in Michael’s hand and then at the box, in which his toys had been.
“Oh, okay.” Michael smiled.

“Joshua pumpkin, mum is leaving now, will you come and give me a hug?” Lisa asked, stepping further into the living room. The boy stood up and walked over to her. Lisa knelled down and hugged him, Joshua kissed her cheek. “You’ll be a good boy now, listen to your uncle and Michael.” She said.
“I will. Bye mum.”
”I love you.”
“I love you too mum.”
“I’ll see you in a week.”

“Have a nice holiday Lisa, don’t take too much sun!” Michael said and winked at her.
“Thank you, and no I won’t.” She smiled and then hugged her brother. “Take good care of my little one.” She whispered.
“Of course we will, have a nice trip.” Sam smiled. And then she was gone.


Michael was making some evening snack in the kitchen, when Sam walked into the room.
“Where’s Joshua?” Michael asked with a smile.
“Watching cartoons in the living room.” Sam smiled back. “So, what are we having?”
“Just tea, some cucumber sandwiches and pudding. You are not terribly hungry, are you?” Michael asked.
“Nope, the supper was quite filling.” Sam tapped on his stomach.
“Should we eat here or in the dining room?”
“Lets eat here, I’ll go and get Josh.” Sam kissed his cheek quickly.

The evening snack went by with happy chatting, Joshua was telling them about his favorite toys and why he thought that spiderman was better than Batman.

When they had finished eating, Sam went and put the cartoon back on that Joshua had been watching earlier. He then returned into the kitchen to help Michael to clean up.
“I think it’s wonderful to see how you act with him, you’re good with children.” Sam said as Michael placed the dishes into the dishwasher.
“It’s easy to get along with Josh, he’s been brought up well.” Michael smiled. “He looks just like you, I’m sure that boy is going to brake some hearts when he gets older.” He continued then, closing the dishwasher and putting it on.
“Am I a heart breaker?” Sam grinned and pressed his boyfriend gently against the counter.
“Yes, I believe you’ve broken many hearts before me.” Michael grinned back.
“Well I don’t know about that… I believe that you’re a greater heart breaker than I am.” Sam sighed and kissed his lips, when he met with Michael’s eyes he noticed that his expression had changed. “What is it?”
“Oh nothing… nothing.” Michael said, smiled and reached his lips with his own. Sam brought his hand behind his neck to deepen the kiss, Michael wrapped his arms around him. Sam moaned almost forgetting the time and place.

“What are you doing?” They heard a small voice asking from behind them. Sam pulled away from Michael quickly and looked at his nephew with red cheeks. Curious blue eyes were looking back at him.
“I gave a kiss to Michael.” Sam answered as Michael was blushing behind him.
“Oh, okay, and what happens next?” The boy asked hugging the teddy bear in his arms, the curious expression staying on his face. Michael almost burst out laughing, he had to turn his face away from the boy. Sam also had difficulties keeping a straight face. He smiled.
“What happens next is; that you are going to bed young man.” Sam answered and took the boy in his arms.
“Well, who will read me a bedtime story then?” Joshua asked.
“I can, after you’ve brushed your teeth’s.” Michael said after he had managed to pull himself together. They exchanged amused looks with Sam, as he was walking towards the bathroom with the boy.

“So, what story would you like me to read then?” Michael asked with a smile and sat down on a chair beside the bed. The boy fixed the cover around himself and seemed to be thinking.
“Um, um… Ugly Duckling!” He told then.
“That was one of my favorite stories, when I was young.” Michael said as he was glancing through the book to find the right story.
“Oh it was?” The boy asked. Michael met his eyes and smiled softly.
“Yes… so, lets get started with the story then…”

When he had finished the fairytale, the boy didn’t look any more tired than what he had been when it started.
“You should go to sleep now.” He told him.
“Just one more story, some of your favorites?” The boy asked so sweetly, that he couldn’t refuse him.
“Alright,hm… What about a story of a wolf and a squirrel?” Michael grinned.
”I’ve never heard of a story like that.”
“That’s because it’s not written yet.” Michael told him and leaned backwards on the chair, he hoped that he could tell the story as good as his mother had.
“It was late fall, darkness all around and it had been raining for days. This night, at the deep forest of the north, was different from the others, a mother wolf, the leader of the herd, was about to give birth. Two cubs were born. The first born’s fur was black as the night, a silver arrow on his forehead, the name for this cub was; Relámpago oscuro, but they would simply call him Oscuro.”
“What does that mean?”
“It’s Spanish. Relámpago means lightning and Oscuro means dark.” Michael told him smiling. “Now, the other cubs fur was silver as the moon and on his forehead there was a white star,and this cub was named; Luz de la luna, which basically means the light of the moon, in short he would be called Luz…” Michael continued telling the story the best way that he could remember it and Joshua listened with interest.

“This story is long and it’s getting late, I’ll continue it tomorrow if you wish.” Michael said finally and stood up. He tucked the boy in better and received a kiss on his cheek.
“Good night Micha, you’re cute.” Joshua said and Michael laughed softly.
“Good night Josh, you’re quite cute yourself.” He whispered, kissed his forehead and walked across the room. He turned the lights off and close the door after him.

”I started telling him the wolf story. It seemed impossible to get him to fall sleep.” Michael sighed with a tired smile on his lips as he walked into their bedroom. Sam smiled and placed the book, that he had been reading, down from his hands.
“Do you want to take a bath?” Sam asked.
“A bath? Together?” Michael asked and took his over-shirt off.
“Yes of course together. I want to wash your back, you look like you could need something to relax you.” Sam grinned.
“Alright.” Michael smiled and let his boyfriend to lead him the way to the bathroom.

“You’ve already made the bath.” Michael noted.
“While you were reading the story.” Sam answered, walking in front of him.
“Mmm… a bubble bath…” Michael grinned. Sam lifted his t-shirt up and Michael helped him by raising his arms. Sam threw the piece of clothing somewhere onto the floor and kissed him. His hands were opening his belt and the buttons of his jeans as the kiss continued on.

“I thought that we came in here, just to take a bath.” Michael breathed out as Sam was tugging his jeans and boxers down to his ankles. Michael stepped out of them, kicking them out of the way.

“Who said that bathing should be dull.” Sam grinned as he knelled down in front of him.
“Bathing is never dull, not with you…” Michael whispered as he felt Sam’s hot breathing on his groin, he close his eyes. Sam was licking on his balls, took them into his mouth completely. Michael bit down on his lower lip, trying to stay as quiet as he could. His cock stood hard, throbbing, needing attention. Michael sighed with frustration as Sam’s lips and hands touched everywhere but where he needed to be touched the most. So close and yet so far. He felt his breathing, the lick of his tongue; the first touch on his length. Then again he lost the touch. Carefully Michael brought his hand to touch Sam’s hair, taking some inside his palm but careful not to hurt him.
“Sam please…” He moaned, looking down. Sam looked up, grinning wickedly.

“What? What do you want?” He asked, although he knew perfectly well what it was. Another frustrated sigh from Michael’s lips. “Tell me what it is you want love.” Sam urged, looking into his eyes. He caressed the silky skin of his inner thighs.

“Isn’t it quite obvious what I want?” Michael asked bringing his hips closer.

“Yes, but I want you to say it.” Sam told him, bringing his hands on his buttocks, squeezing and massaging.

“Mmh…I want… I want you to take it in your mouth.” Michael said finally. Sam grinned wildly, brought his lips closer and finally gave him what he had longed for. Sam took him as deep into his throat as he could take him, he then spat on his hand and helped with it the movements of his lips. Michael bend his neck back in pleasure, he moaned as quietly as he could. Sam looked at him. Kept stroking him with his hand and spat on the other. He took him into his mouth again and brought his hand between Michael’s buttocks, carefully pushing one finger inside him. He knew he had found what he had been looking for when Michael let out a surprised sigh, moving his hips closer to get a better contact. Sam felt his own cock throbbing with need and want, nothing was as stimulating as to bring pleasure to Michael, to hear it from his voice, to see it from his face.

Michael gave him the warning, that he would be coming soon. Sam continued working, felt Michael’s muscles contracting around his finger and soon enough he tasted him in his mouth. Sam swallowed all that he could and licked away what he had been able to get. Michael tried to calm down his breathing, his forehead was glimmering from sweat. Sam stood up and kissed him, Michael responded to the kiss, tasting himself on his lovers lips. The kiss heated up.

When Sam had undressed his own clothes they sat into the bathtub together. Michael’s back was leaning against his chest. His head resting against his shoulder. He close his eyes and smiled, feeling content and save. Sam took the sponge and started washing his chest with it.

“You give a good head Sam.” Michael whispered, a smile playing on his lips. Sam smiled with satisfaction.

“I do?” He asked and Michael nodded his head.
“You’re the best.” Michael said and turned his head to kiss him. “I can return the favor?” Michael asked looking at him with curiosity.
“If you like…” Sam answered carefully. Michael turned around kissed him, moved his hand down on his wet chest, making small circles around his nipples. He kissed them, took them between his lips one by one. Sam moaned into the kiss as he felt Michael’s hand moving lower until it disappeared under the surface of the water. Soon he felt a grasp around his cock, it had been hard ever since he had given a blow job to Michael.
“You must have wanted me pretty badly?” He asked cunningly, not moving his hand.
“Michael please…” Sam asked looking into his eyes. Michael grinned again, kissed him and started moving his hand agonizingly slow.

“More…” Sam moaned.
“More what? Faster?” Michael grinned.
”Mmh…faster…” Sam sighed. Michael did what was asked, caressing his balls at the same time, kissing his neck, his shoulders, his chest.
“You’re good at this, you’re good in everything…” Sam sighed. Michael smiled and started stroking him even more faster. Soon he felt Sam’s organ to start pulsating in his hands and Sam’s head threw back, he moaned as he came.

Michael kissed his neck while waiting for the last drop to come out.
“Felt good…” Sam whispered.
“I thought so…” Michael grinned, he turned around again, resting his head on his shoulder.

“Will you wash my back now?” He asked then.
“Yes, of course.” Sam took the sponge and Michael leaned forward, his knees close to his chest arms around his legs. He rested his head on his knees. There was a moment of silence, the even sound of the water splashing, when Sam washed his back slowly with sponge.

“Are you ready to tell me about this scar?” Sam asked and touched it lightly. Michael sighed, maybe it was time for them to talk.
“Ricky carved his initials on my skin.” He started quietly and felt as Sam was a bit shaken by his words. But as he said nothing, Michael continued. “I felt ashamed, I thought that I could never take it if you would see it, I was afraid that you might despise me because of that, I know it’s silly, but that’s what I thought back then. My biggest fear Sam, is to hear those words from your lips that I’ve heard from so many men already.” Michael took a deep breath, his eyes were glimmering with tears. “I feared that you would think that I truly am a whore…Which is silly because that is what I was and there’s no way of getting past that.” Sam pulled him close again, his arms wrapped around him.

“I have never though that about you, and nothing will ever make me think that way.” Sam whispered. “Michael, my love, don’t you know what I think? You’ve told me everything. I’ve seen you laying there on that hospital bed unconscious, I’ve heard their testimonies in court… I’ve heard people who thought that you were his nephew… Never once have I thought about what you just said you feared… You are the best, most sexiest lover I’ve ever had and at the same time, you are my best friend. The one I can tell everything, trust everything.” Sam whispered. Michael smiled with relief and close his eyes.

”The initials are gone now…” Sam whispered next.
“I was at Tony’s place on new years eve. I asked him to change the scar and he did it.” Michael told him, Sam was silent for a moment.

“It still feels hard for me to think how much you suffered… The thought of them,touching you…” Sam’s voice tightened, his breathing stiffened. Michael placed his hand on his thigh to calm him down. “I’ll never forget his eyes, that day in the court room, when you weren’t there, that bastard looked straight into my eyes and smiled, I wanted to tear his face off. His behavior… with no remorse. That memory makes my blood boil. I hope with all my heart that he has gotten a taste of his own medicine in jail, that they all have…” Sam took a deep breath, rage still inside. “One of those men was the same age that I am.” He said biting his teeth’s together. Michael felt tears in his eyes as the horrid memories came back to him.

“When I was young, before… before all went wrong for me, I never thought… I could never imagine that… The pain, it was horrid, I almost couldn’t take it Sam, but I…” Sam took his hand in his and squeezed it. “But I remembered every good thing, I remembered you, how happy you’ve made me… How much I love you, and I love you so much more than I ever thought possible…and so I took the pain, I survived it; I survived because I wanted you, I wanted this, to be in your arms like this and….” Michael turned to look at him. “And I am here, I’m here now.” And carefully they kissed and lovingly they held each others, not wanting to let go ever again.

That night they both cried, talked some more, becoming more and more close. Sam couldn’t help but to think of how many ways those men had touched Michael, taken their pleasure in his pain and Jean had been there. Jean had watched it to happen and he had taken part in it. Sam remembered very clearly the relationship between Jean and Michael, he had watched it close. He remembered how possessive Jean had been. He had hated the man then and he hated him even more now. There had never been any love involved, no one who had ever loved someone could hurt them in the way that Jean had hurt Michael.

How could Jean have watched the gang rape from the side? How could he have taken part in torturing his ex-lover, the man he claimed to love? Sam could not and would not ever understand that. Jean had been with Michael for two years and still should do something so horrid after all that time. It most certainly was not love; it was nothing more than a sick obsession. And the worst thing was, that the man was still out there; still a threat. Sam held on to Michael even more tightly, almost fearing to let go. Sam knew that he couldn’t continue life without him, he just couldn’t, he wouldn’t know how.

Chapter 55.

Their days with Joshua were happy and full of laughter. They felt like a family, a real family. Silly games that made them laugh; hide and seek. Michael sat in the middle of the floor hiding under a blanket, laughing, Joshua came to look, at first not realizing which only made them laugh more. Then he was found and Joshua hide behind an armchair. Then it was Sam’s turn; he hid beside the fireplace, a blanket on. Joshua look for him, while Kitty and Michael were both trying their best not to laugh. Laughter sprung, this was Joshua’s favorite game, their all favorite game. And Sam could have watched his lover forever; the smile on his face; lighting up his eyes. His laughter; the most beautiful sound in all the world, music to his ears. These small moments he knew he would cherish forever. They were happy.



Sam had left for work that day and Michael was alone with Joshua. It had taken some convincing to Sam that he would be alright alone in daytime, that nothing bad would happen. But still, Sam kept calling him from work as often as he could; Michael only thought it was sweet, it felt nice that Sam cared so.

Joshua watched cartoons in the living room while Michael was cleaning the kitchen after their cooking. They had made some pizza’s and it had left the kitchen floor and table filled with flours. Michael smiled, he liked spending time with Joshua. He liked the family feeling. He smiled as he cleaned, smiled as he heard the voice of the tv, smiled as he answered the phone and told Sam for the fifth time that he and Joshua were both fine. He felt so calm, content and happy. It was possible to be happy, it was possible to live with scars. It was possible to love and give yourself completely even after all the horror of the past; it was possible.

“Uncle, uncle!” Joshua ran to greet Sam in the hall when he came home. Sam grasped the boy in his arms.
“What’s up buddy?”
“I made you some pizza, a wiener pizza.” Joshua told him with a giggle.
“A wiener pizza?” Sam wondered.
“Yes, a wiener pizza.” Came Michael’s voice, Sam looked at him, answered to his smile with his own and lowered Joshua down from his lap. They greeted with a kiss.
“I missed you.” Sam whispered close to his ear.
“I missed you too.” Michael smiled, looking deep into his eyes.

They sat in front of the table and Sam looked at the odd looking piece of pizza on his plate; it really was a pizza with piece of wieners, not pepperoni, not sausages, but wieners… He looked at the expecting face of his nephew.
“Mmm… Looks delicious.” He lied, took a deep breath and tasted it.

The pizza tasted somewhat interesting, which was a nice way of saying it, but as he didn’t want to make Joshua disappointed, he smiled and told it was delicious. He ate the whole piece.
“I think you deserve a reward for that.” Michael whispered.
“Hm… I wonder what my reward is going to be…” Sam grinned.
“You’ll see.” Michael grinned back and continued eating.


Later Sam had gone into his working room to continue his work. Michael took Joshua to bed and like every other night the boy agreed on going to sleep only after he would hear the story about the wolf and the squirrel.
“It’s getting late, we’ll continue tomorrow.” Michael promised and wrapped the blanket better on the boy.
“I want Dino… I can’t sleep without Dino.” Joshua told him, meaning the dinosaur toy he always slept with. Michael went to get it and then placed it beside the boy. As he was turning to leave the room, the boy’s voice stopped him.

“The wiener pizza tasted quite bad.” Joshua muttered. Michael turned his head and laughed softly.
“Was it?”
“Yes, I think that uncle Sam was really brave when he ate the whole piece, I hid mine in a napkin. Was I bad?”
“Sam is a brave man. You were a little bad, you should have told me that you didn’t like it, I would have given you something else. Are you hungry now?”
“No, because I was bad again and took another pizza in secret. Are you mad at me now uncle Michael?” Michael couldn’t help but to smile.
“No, I’m not mad. But next time; tell us and ask us if you’d like something else.” He answered.
“Alright. Are you going to tell uncle what I did?”
“Shouldn’t I tell him?”
“Well, you can tell him, but ask him not to be too mad at me.”
“Sam won’t be mad Josh, I promise. Go to sleep now.” The boy snuggled under the blanket, his head resting on the pillow.
“Good night Micha.”
“Good night.” Michael turned the lights off, shaking his head with a smile as he close the door.

He walked into the kitchen to boil some tea and the returned upstairs carrying a tray; towards Sam’s office.
“You’ve worked all day, don’t you think it’s time for you to rest?” He asked stepping further into the room. Sam moved his eyes from his computer screen to him and smiled.

“Just one moment, I want to finish this.” He answered. Michael placed the tray on the table.
“Well, I brought you some tea and cookies.” He said giving him the cup which Sam took with gratitude.
“Thank you love.” He said, tasted it and placed the cup on the table.

“What are you doing?” Michael bowed down to look at the screen. Sam tapped on his lap
“Sit.” He urged.
“Like a dog he treats me.” Michael joked, and sat down with a smile on his lips. Sam wrapped his arm around his waist.
“I’m working on a year plan, like what kind of events I could arrange at the gym, how to keep up customer relationships and stuff like that, plus I was looking at the inventory.” Sam told him, the Word-window went down and was placed with an Excel-window.

“Looks boring.” Michael commented and Sam close the excel-window.
“Work often is.” Sam answered, took his tea-cup and drank some more, Michael snuggled closer to him.
“May I look what you’ve written here?” He asked.
“Be my guest.” Sam answered and Michael leaned in closer to the computer screen so that his butt met with Sam’s crotch even better. Sam felt his cock starting to take notice at this contact. He swallowed, moved his hand under Michael’s shirt, stroking gently at the smooth and warm skin. Michael didn’t say anything, he just kept reading, but at the same time he moved his hips again, causing friction. He moved back, his back resting against his chest. He took support from Sam’s thigh, moved his hand on his inner thigh and gave it a slight squeeze. He grinned at the computer screen when hearing Sam’s moan and feeling his hardness against his buttocks. He started moving his hips slowly in his lap, rubbing his butt against him.
“Looks interesting.” He whispered with husky voice and moaned quietly.

“Michael… oh gods… What are you doing?” Sam asked when his fiancé twirled on his lap in an even more heated way. Sam soon realized that the question was totally unnecessary. Michael took his other hand and brought it down on his own grotch. Sam moaned when feeling his hardness.
“Isn’t it obvious now?” Michael whispered. “I feel really horny and I feel so naughty when saying it out loud.”
Sam kissed his neck, his fogy mind still trying to take it in that he had heard those words from Michael’s lips. Michael turned his head and they kissed, at the same time, Sam was fighting with zipper of Michael’s jeans; trying to get it to open, his other hand on his cheek.

Michael moaned when Sam moved his hand under his boxers rubbing his organ. Sam opened his eyes and admired the look on Michael’s face. He started shoving Michael’s jeans and boxers down, his one arm still around his waist. Michael looked at him through half opened eyes, lips parting, Sam looked back at him.
”Más rápidamente, mi amor.” Michael whispered, knowing how much Sam loved when he spoke Spanish at moments like these. Sam, who understood some words, did as he wished and quickened his movements.
“Deseo… mi querido… adentro…” Michael moaned. Sam kissed him with more passion.
“In here?” Michael nodded.
“Lock the door.” Michael asked, standing up. Sam walked towards the door quickly and when he turned around he stopped for a moment and watched how Michael undressed the rest of his clothes. Michael smiled to him, looking at him as he moved towards him unbuttoning his shirt. Sam moved the tray and his laptop from the table and pulled Michael close to himself. He kissed him, his naked body wrapping around his own still clothed body. Sam lifted Michael up onto the desk after shoving the papers down from it.

“I’ve always wanted to do that.” He grinned, Michael grinned back. He lowered down to lay on his back and pulled Sam into a kiss, taking off his shirt. Sam drew back slightly, looking at him more closely, he touched his cheek, moved it down on his neck, his chest, his stomach. Michael felt his heart beat quicken under such intensive look. The lighting in the room was bright and Sam could see him, all of him. It was a long time since he had allowed Sam to look at him this closely, he hadn’t been this brave since October.
“Are you frightened my love? There’s no need to be scared. I love your body, I want to look at it.” Sam whispered.
“I’m not scared, I want you.” Michael whispered back. Sam sat down on the chair, pulling him even closer to the edge of the table, he then took his organ into his mouth. Sam kept his eyes open,
looking at his lovers quivering body on the table, listening to the moans he made, looking at the expression on his face; the pleasure he felt. It truly was the most sexiest and most beautiful thing he had ever seen.Sam Spat on his hand and started preparing his lover. He soon realized that he had no lubrication.

“Look from the top drawer.” Michael whispered opening his eyes. Sam did as he suggested and was surprised to find the lube there. He looked at his lovers face and grinned.
“You planned this, didn’t you?”
“Maybe, it’s good to be prepared.” Michael grinned back. Sam stood up, opening his pants and squeezed some lube on his palm. He rubbed it on Michael’s opening and then on his cock, which was hard as a rock even though he hadn’t even touched it. Michael opened his legs more so he could now stand between them. Slowly Sam started thrusting in, Michael close his eyes, a frown on his face, moaning as he felt Sam entering. Once Sam was in he leaned in to kiss his lips to which Michael answered.
“Move.” Michael asked finally and Sam was more than happy to act upon his wish. The room was filled with quiet but intense moaning. They kissed, Sam took a hold of Michael’s cock and started stroking it as he made love to him. Sweat glimmered on their naked body’s, mixed with others and the air around them kept getting hotter.
“Sam…” Michael moaned, his cock was throbbing, the muscles around Sam’s squeezed him almost painfully and Sam felt the warm, thick fluid on his hand, bringing him to his own orgasm, which he felt on his whole body, from the beginning of his toes. He licked his fingers clean, loving the taste of his lover.
“I love you.” Sam whispered and kissed his forehead.
“Te amo.” He replied. They smiled to one another and feeling satisfied and restful, they kissed again.


Daniel drove down on the narrow alley and parked his car. He sighed, taking a moment to think about what he was about to do. His conscience was blaming him, urging him to turn back before it would be too late, telling him that he should just head back home before he would have deceived so many; his boyfriend, Sam, Michael and all their love ones. Daniel shook his head, forcing the quilt away.

Once more he checked the address that he had writen down on a piece of paper. It was the right place. ‘What on earth am I doing?’ He asked himself, when stepping into the lobby of the apartment building. The building looked as nasty inside as it did out. The keeper of the dorm or hotel or what ever it was, looked at him from his booth, smoking a cigarette, but didn’t ask or say a word as he started climbing up the stairs. His heart was beating fast. A drunken man, sitting on the floor of the corridor, was following him with his eyes and Daniel swallowed, suddenly becoming more and more insecure of what he was about to do. Thinking of Sam, he forced himself to move on. Apartment 7B; he stopped, took a deep breath and knocked on the door. He heard the lock opening and the door creaked as it opened slightly. He saw no one, carefully he opened the door completely.
“Hello, anyone in here?”
“Close the door and come in.” The familiar French voice told him.

He walked further into the sitting room and saw the man sitting on a sofa, a glass of whiskey in his hand. On an armchair next to him, sat a man in his mid thirty’s, lean face, unfriendly look, piercing eyes.
“You had the courage to show up, I must say I am a little surprised, though pleased.” The man, with whom he had spoken earlier, said and smiled at him. He searched his pocket for cigars and offered him one. Daniel shook his head. The man raised his shoulders, took one between his lips and lighted it. He inhaled the smoke and blew out; making smoke rings.

“So, you have decided then?” He asked.
“I… I just want to know what you’re planning on doing to him? I won’t do this if your intention is to hurt him.” Daniel started, his voice trembled slightly, the man laughed dryly.
“Oh, my young friend, I have no plans on hurting him, I can assure you that. And do you really care of his fate?” The man asked, looking at him closely.
“I am not a bad person.” Daniel answered and sensed the amusement on both men’s faces.
”No, of course not, You just love, right?”
“My friend, you’ll only do a favor to everyone by working with us. You’ll do good for the man you love, moving the wrong love and offering better for his place; yourself… Michael is not good for Samuel. Michael is a confused young man and I know the faults of my beloved; he is overly proud and money hungry. But what is one to do, when one still loves?” The man spoke. Daniel glanced at the other man who kept staring at him, looking almost hungrily at his body, it made him shiver.
“You hurt him the last time?” Daniel had the courage to ask.
“I hurt him? Is that what he is telling? So my love is a liar as well, I’m sad to hear it. I helped him, I saved him and he promised to come with me, he told me he loved me, but I was deceived and now I am forced to run from the hands of law with my friend. Michael really is confused, money has blinded him, and he does not love Sam for real. Poor Samuel, he is as blue eyed as I was with him.” Daniel looked at him insecurely, inside he knew that he had walked into a snake-pit, where every word was a trap, means to lure him deeper into the nest of lies, but the greedy part of him wanted to believe every lie if they would only bring Sam to him. So his insecure mind took the lies and convinced them to be true.
“Alright, what do I need to do?”