Silent 16-20

Chapter 16.

Jean wasn`t very happy with the fact that Michael had now two new friends of his own. Every time that Michael said that he was going out with them, Jean felt enormous rage and jealousy boiling inside him. He tried to fight it and keep it to himself, he didn`t want to hurt Michael again. He didn`t want to be this bad person that seemed to live inside him, but it was beginning to be harder and harder to fight that person.

Erick had talked to him after he had seen the bruise on Michael`s face, or more like yelled at him. He hadn`t bought their poor excuses of where the bruise had come from, he could see the truth and finally Jean had admitted that Erick was indeed right with his doubt.

Above all, Jean was worried. He could see the clear change in his boyfriend. He had become more carefree and happier. This fact of course, woulden`t have bothered him, if he had known that the change was because of him and not because of Sam. Jean wanted to keep Michael dependent on him and before it had been easy, but now everything seemed to have changed. He couldn`t reach or understand the world that Michael shared with his young friends. Their age different seemed to have become, even clearer. Jean was very worried indeed.

Michael sat in an Irish pub with his friends. January was half gone, they had known only five months, but the time seemed so much longer. Michael was happy, happier than in a long time. He felt himself strangely energetic, he felt himself slowly reaching the person that he used to be, the boy that he had thought was lost forever.

He looked at Sam, who was sitting opposite from him and smiled, Sam looked at him and smiled back. It seemed that everything else from around them always disappeared when they gazed one another, loosing themselves in each others eyes. There were thousands of these moments, small moments that meant more than anything else in the world. Secret looks in filled rooms, smile, hand touching gently and briefly the other. The touch even though so light and lasting merely seconds gives such a feeling that can not be described, feeling like heaven, feeling like coming home after a torrential journey.

Michael knew that he was in trouble, in his heart he knew that this was so much more than an innocent infatuation. He still tried to tell himself that it would soon pass, all in vain. The mere thought of Sam and hearing his name mentioned made him smile and feel so warm inside. This scared him a little. He was Jean`s and how could he even consider leaving him, the man, who had saved him? `I love Jean.` He tried to convince himself constantly, even now as he realized where his thoughts had ran; to his blond and blue eyed friend. `I love Sam…no, no! Jean, I love Jean!` He tried in despair, but his heart still knew better.

He had drank too much; alcohol had dimmed his sense, his cheeks felt like burning. He had a strange urge to lean over the table to kiss Sam, to touch him. He soon found himself lost again into those beautiful, blue eyes. The same thoughts were running in Sam`s mind. He wanted to touch Michael so badly, to hold him in his arms, wake up next to him in the morning. Love songs started to play in his head, when ever he looked into those brown eyes. He had never wanted someone like this, as badly as this. He wanted everything, he wanted his body, he wanted his love and to share all his dreams and thoughts. He wanted a relationship, everlasting relationship, but not just with anyone, he wanted to have it with Michael.

Kitty did notice these looks, she would have been blind if she didn`t. She had hopped that the brunet would have looked at her the way he looked at her friend, but she knew that it would never happen. Now she was hoping that Michael would leave his boyfriend, that arrogant French man, who seemed to be displeased with everything, and that Michael would take her friend. She knew how happy it would make Sam and if Sam would be happy so would she.

The question was; how to open up Michael`s eyes and make him admit the truth to himself. Sam and Michael belonged together, Kitty knew that. But still, she couldn`t help but to dream having Michael for herself, she had never in her life, met someone so attractive looking male. And there was nothing wrong with dreaming, nothing wrong with having fantasies. Sooner or later she would get over with this fantasy.

Sam accompanied Michael home from the pub, they were joking and laughing on their way. They both had drank plenty, Sam`s arm was around his waist and it felt natural and good.

“See you again soon.” Sam whispered as they had gotten to the apartment building. He had wanted to say something else, to kiss Michael, but he tried to control himself from doing that. Michael smiled at him. Sam`s arms were still around him, his face was so close and he wanted to kiss him so badly.

“See you…” Michael whispered. ”…Thanks for walking with me.”

“Sure thing, it was nice…um walking with you…Good night.” “

Good night.” Sam waited until Michael had reached the door and went inside. He sighted heavily before turning to leave.

Michael came to the door and started to look for the keys from his pocked. His hands were shaking and he was laughing slightly. `Oh gods, I`m so drunk.` He thought as he opened the door. He started to undress his coat, it felt extremely difficult in his condition. He tried to take his shoes off and fell on the floor snickering.

“Michael?” Jean`s voice came from the living room.

“Yes?” He yelled back. He got up from the floor and staggered to the living room. Jean, Patrick, Louis and Felipe sat there, drinking wine and having a quiet conversation. Michael looked at them and sighted. `Could they be anymore boring?` He wondered.

“Bon soire!” Michael said with drunken voice and laughed.

“You`re drunk.” Jean pointed out coldly.

“Oh, am I? Wow, thanks for pointing that out for me, wouldn`t have realized if you hadn`t…” Michael grinned, his face felt so weird, everything was weird. Patrick looked at him with disdain.

“How come British always have to drink themselves in such a horrid condition?” He mumbled. Michael almost laughed at this, no wait, he did laugh at this.

“Well I`m deeply sorry Patrick, it`s a good thing that you can always drink so civilized, isn`t it?” Michael said looking at Jean with one raised eyebrow. Jean was feeling a bit uncomfortable.

“Alright…I`m going to bed, good night gentlemen…” He faltered and walked into the bedroom, closing the door after him.

His head was spinning. `I have to get to shower.` He thought and walked in the bathroom. Again the undressing part seemed to be much more complicated than what it was normally. He washed his hair and thought about Sam, Sam`s eyes, lips, his body…`God dammit stop this Michael, stop it now!` He argued with himself and turned the water on colder. He bite his bottom lip, keeping himself from screaming. At least it stopped his thoughts from wandering any longer.

He dried his body with towel and returned to the bedroom. Jean sat on the bed.

“Did your guests leave already?” Michael asked when dressing clean boxers on. Jean walked behind him and kissed his neck. “Not now Jean…I`m tired…” Michael said and walked on his side of the bed. He wrapped himself under the warm cover “Good night.” He said and turned his back on Jean. Jean sighted with frustration.


Michael woke up having a worst headache ever. He almost didn`t dare to move. If the pain was this bad when laying down, he wondered how bad it would be when getting up. Jean was also awake, he nestled against his back and moved his hands on his naked chest. Jean kissed his shoulder.

“Good morning chéri.” Jean whispered. Michael felt sick.

”I don`t feel so good.” He managed to say before rushing into the bathroom. He knelled in front of the toilet seat and vomited. His body was shaking, cold sweat running on his skin. He rose and washed his mouth before going into the shower.

When he came back he found Jean sitting on the bed, just like he did the night before.

“Come here Michael.” Jean demanded. Michael looked at him, feeling weary.

“I`m getting dressed.” He said and went looking for some clothes. Jean walked behind him, took his towel off and squeezed his buttocks, breathing in his neck.

“Not now Jean!” Michael said firmly.

I want you, it`s been awhile now since our last time, much too long if you ask me.” Jean whispered. Michael took his clothes and walked farther away to put them on.

“Honestly Jean, I feel terrible right now, I just throw up…you can`t expect that I…” Michael said as he was dressing.

“Then when?”

“Well, not now anyway…”

”God dammit, this is because of that Sam, isn`t it?!” Jean yelled in anger.

“No it isn`t!…I feel sick, just believe me already.” Michael said quickly and walked past Jean towards the kitchen.

Jean followed him, grasped his arm and pulled him close.

“I want you.” Jean said looking at him with demand. Michael pulled himself free.

“I feel sick, my head hurts. Do you really want me now? Do you want me to allow you to take me even when I really don`t want it? Not now, not when I`m feeling like this.” Michael asked after he had gotten farther away from Jean. Jean was quiet for a moment.

“Alright, but don`t make me wait much longer Michael, I`m sure you`re feeling better by the evening.” Jean snapped and walked into the kitchen to make some coffee. `By the evening?` Michael wondered and closed his eyes. He really didn`t feel up to it, but he would do it. He had to.

February 2003

Jean had invited his friends over and Michael decided to ask Sam and Kitty to keep him company. Michael chatted with them happily and soon Erick and Paul joined to their conversation. Jean watched them with jealousy, he saw the way that Michael and Sam were looking at each others, the way they were smiling. Michael said something that made Sam laugh and Sam touched his shoulder. It almost drew Jean over the edge. He didn`t want Sam to touch what was his and only his.

Jean rose and went to get himself another drink from the kitchen. He then walked over to Michael and the others. “What are you talking about?” jean asked once he had gotten close enough.

“I was just telling them some old school memory`s, nothing special.” Michael said and looked at Jean.

“Did you also tell them about New york? About what you did there?” Jean asked evilly. Michael looked at him with surprised horror. Every one else was looking at jean too.

“I don`t think you have dear…” Jean continued.

“Jean, please don`t… “ Michael`s voice was shaking.

“Why not? I think your friends would be interested in knowing what kind of a whore you were.” Jean said with cold voice. Michael gasped for air, his whole body was trembling.

”Jean!” Erick shouted with anger. Sam and Kitty were too surprised to speak.

“Yes, you heard right. Michael was a whore and very good whore I believe. How many men did you entertain my love? Perhaps you still do it behind my back.” Michael almost couldn`t breath, he felt tears in his eyes. He couldn`t believe that Jean had just said it. He couldn`t speak. He heart Erick saying something, but he couldn`t understand a word. He knew that Patrick was somewhere near and he could almost see the malicious delight on his face. He wanted to leave, quickly, he just had to get out.

“You are an imaginable bastard Jean!” Michael said finally, his voice sounded so strange to his ears. He tossed his wine on Jeans face and dropped the glass on the floor, he heard how it broke into pieces. He rushed away from the apartment, not looking back. Sam came back to the reality and looked at Jean.

“He`s right, you are a bastard!” He shouted and ran after Michael after taking his and Michael`s coat with him.

Michael didn`t know where he was going. Tears were burning his eyes. He felt stupid and hurt and disgusting, he felt so dirty. “Michael!” Voice was calling him, he didn`t care, he couldn`t face any of them.

“Michael wait, please!” Sam ran beside him. “Michael…” He said softly and touched his shoulder gently. Michael stopped and turned, but he looked at the ground, he was too scared to look Sam in the eyes.

“Here put this on, it`s cold out here.” Sam spoke and helped him with the coat. Michael wrapped his arms around himself.

“Are you alright? What was that just now?” Sam asked with concern, he touched him gently.

“It was the truth.” Michael sighed crying and finally looked up to Sam. Sam didn`t know what he should say or do, so he decided to pull him in a gentle hug.

“Tell me Michael, please, what ever it is you can tell me.” Sam asked. They pulled away from the hug. Michael nippled his bottom lip and looked at Sam hesitating.

“Lets go some place else…”

They walked to the park near by and sat down on the park bench. Michael looked briefly at Sam before lowering his gaze down. He sighted before he began.

“When I was seventeen, I met a man; Ricky Matthews. He seemed to be everything I ever wanted and he wanted me to go with him to New York. It seemed like a good idea at the time. All I did was fight with my parents, my friends had turned their back on me and the only person that accepted me for who I was, my grandmother, died all of a sudden…that`s why I left with him…” Michael spoke with a low voice.

Sam took his hand in his, thinking it might relax him a bit. Michal lifted his eyes on him and smiled weakly.

“Ricky, however, was everything else from what I had thought he was…He was, he is, very violent person for those who he`s with…sex was…it was horrible…” Michael had to stop for a moment, it was very hard to talk about it. Sam still held him, his other arm came around his shoulders and the other still held his hand. “I…He made me sleep with some of his friends..he sold me to them…he often filmed it…I…” Michael began to shake all over, tears ran down on his face. Sam wiped the tears away.

“Shh…Everything is fine…” Sam whispered, he was shocked of what he had just heard. He had tears in his eyes too. He wanted take all the pain away from Michael.

“Jean knows all of this, without him I wouldn`t have been able to escape…He saved me and…Oh god…what you must be thinking about me now…” Sam held him on tightly and Michael pressed his head against his chest. Sam stroked his hair gently. “What do I think? This dosn`t change anything I feel about you, it only makes me hate those who have hurt you like that…Michael…Why didn`t you tell me this sooner?” Michael lifted his head up and looked at Sam.

“I didn`t want you to pity me, I was afraid…afraid that…When I met you, for the first time in a long time I could forget about what happened. I felt myself normal and I was afraid that if I were to tell you, you would look at me differently…It wasn`t because I didn`t trust you, it`s just a part of my live that I would like nothing more that to forget that it ever happened…Although it`s impossible Jean reminds me every day.” Michael laughed dryly. “I never wanted it. I never had the choice, nor did I ever get the money myself. Just one choice, one wrong choice and I managed to ruin my whole life.”

Sam was quiet for a moment, thinking of what to say. “It wasn`t your fault and this really dosn`t change the way I see you, it only makes us closer to one another…and Jean is an idiot, it has to be said.” Michael looked at him and smiled.

“Oh god, did I really throw the wine on his face?” Michael laughed raising his hand on his forehead.

“Yes you did.” Sam laughed.

“Oh god, Jean must be mad.”

“He deserved it, would have deserved worsh if you ask me. I almost hit him.” Sam said meeting with Michael`s eyes.

“I`m glad that we met, I`m grateful for your friendship.” Michael smiled and they hugged again.

“I`m glad too. Well, what do you say if I would buy you a drink? I think we both could use one.”

“Sounds good to me.” They rose up. Michael smiled as they walked forward, Sam held his hand. He had never felt so save in his life. It felt so right, so right that it was almost scaring.

Chapter 17.

The end of may 2003

Michael had invited Sam and Kitty over for a dinner. Sam came earlier to help him with the cooking, but at first they had to decide what they would be cooking and then go to the store, to buy the ingredients.

They sat in front of the kitchen table, thinking. Jean came home with Patrick. Michael sighted deeply and rolled his eyes at Sam when he heard Patrick`s voice coming from the hall.

“Oh god, if they stay here all night…I can`t stand to listen to Patrick, that man doesn`t know when to shut up…” Michael whispered very quietly, making Sam laugh.

“Bonjour, mon amour.” Jean said walking behind Michael.

“Hi, Jean.” Michael replied. Jean leaned over to kiss Michael`s neck and his cheeks, wrapping his arms around him. Jean looked straight at Sam, like saying with his eyes: `He`s mine, just remember that.` Sam looked at him back firmly, he didn`t like Jean one bit and honestly couldn`t understand how come someone as sweet as Michael was still with that jerk.

Patrick came to the kitchen with them.

“Patrick.” Michael acknowledged with a rude voice, nodding his head in his direction.

“Michael, Sam.” Came as rude answer with the same gesture.

“What are you planning to cook?” Patrick asked. Michael looked at Sam and grinned.

“Hm…Haggis is Kitty`s favorite food, isn`t it? We should make that Sam, the real stuff, in lamb`s stomach of course.” Michael said trying to sound serious.

“Of course! Kitty just love`s haggis! We could also make some kidney pie?” Sam suggested.

“Oh brilliant idea Sam, that sounds good.” Michael said and looked at Patrick who had a sour expression on his face.

“Lets go out to dinner Jean? My treat.” Patrick said then, looking at his friend. Micheal tried hard not to smile from triumph. “Alright, I just go to a quick shower and change my clothes.” Jean answered. It did bother him to leave Michael alone with Sam, but in all seriousness, he would rather eat in a restaurant than that English rubbish and besides he didn`t care much to spend time with Michael`s friends either.

“Oh, it`s really a shame that you won`t be staying, I`m sure we would have enjoyed greatly from your company.” Michael lied, trying to sound sincere. Sam tried not to laugh. Michael rose up.

“Oh, don`t worry, after all, we`ll have the night to ourselves chéri.” Jean said and pulled him into a forceful kiss. Jean was squeezing his buttocks tightly. Michael whimpered quietly, he didn`t like it at all when Jean did that in front of others especially in front of Sam. Jean finally released him. Patrick was looking at Michael smirking. Sam had the urge to hit Jean and hit him hard. The man was just such a big of a dick. Michael was an angel, he should be held gently, treated with esteem. If Michael would be his, he`d… Sam shook his head, he was once again wondering into his own dreaming.


Sam and Michael left to the store as soon as Jean and Patrick had left.

”So what are we really cooking?” Sam asked.

“I was thinking that we could make tortilla`s; with chicken, salsa sauce and vegetable`s. Is that okay?”

“Yes, sounds good to me. Beer or wine?”

“We can take both.”

They were cooking when Kitty came in.

“Hello boy`s. I brought some wine.” Kitty said when walking into the kitchen behind Sam.

“It`s a rare treat to have two gorgeous men cooking for you.” Kitty smiled.

“Do you want me to pour you a glass of wine?” Sam asked.

“Yes please.”

“So, has Michael done all of this alone?” Kitty asked grinning, looking first at Sam and then to Michael.

“I sliced the vegetable`s and opened a beer bottle for Michael.” Sam told her.

“Yes, Sam has been very helpful.” Michael grinned. They sat down to eat.

“I hope that my salsa sauce, isn`t too hot, I made it myself.”

“Oh, now I`m scared…Well at least I know who to blame if my stomach argues with me tomorrow.” Sam laughed.

”So Kitty, how`s your love life?” Sam asked.

“Well, pretty much the same as ever. Although I have started to flirt with that Irish man, that bartender.” Kitty told them.

“That redhead? I thought you didn`t like men with red hair, although I have never understand it, because you`re a redhead yourself.” Sam sneered.

“Well, opinions change. He`s kind of cute and the way he talks, oih…” Kitty sighted.

“Kitty has a thing with Irish men…” Sam told Michael.

“Oh, really? I`m quarter of an Irish, did you know that?”

“Oh? No, you haven`t told us that before. An interesting mix you are.” Sam said smiling and looked at him. Sam had such a pretty smile, Michael thought.

“So what about you Sam?” Kitty asked and Michael looked at the blond, he noticed himself being a little too eager and scared to hear the answer.

“Well…I was on a date last weekend, with Phillipe, do you remember him? From the club?” Kitty and Michael nodded their head`s.

“Well…It was boring as hell! The conversation was so forced and he kept staring at me. `Oh Sam you`re cute and so funny and…` “Sam imitated with shrill, feminine like voice. “I kept trying to look at my watch, thinking when it would be alright for me to leave. We talked about the weather and it was the most interesting topic we had! Ugh, totally waste of time.” Sam sighed and took few gulps of his beer.

Michael felt oddly relieved.

“Poor Sam, well at least you tried going out on a date. I`m proud of you!” Kitty laughed and hit her friend playfully on the shoulder. Michael drifted to his own memory`s, his first date with Jenny when they were 15. They had went to the movies and eat in a hamburger restaurant. Jenny had held his hand and they had kissed and all that time he had thought about Tony and felt himself like an idiot. He smiled weakly to the memory`s of his home, memory`s of a life that seemed so unfamiliar now.

“Michael, earth calls…What are you thinking?” Sam asked.

“Oh, nothing special, just some old stuff…” He smiled.

“Where is Jean by the way?” Kitty asked.

“He went out to dinner with Patrick. We scared them away telling them, I mean lying to them that we would make haggis and kidney pie for dinner…God, it`s easy to cheat them in a things like this. I mean one would think that Jean would know me well enough by now, to know what kind of food I like and don`t like.” Michael grinned.

“Well, thank god you didn`t cook haggis.” Kitty laughed.

“How are things with you and Jean anyway?” Kitty asked, knowing how much Sam would want to know the answer.

Michael was quiet for a moment, the truth was, that things wern`t going so great. Ever since the incident in february, things had turd to worse. Michael`s feelings toward Jean had changed majorly. He didn`t feel any desire towards him anymore, he didn`t feel comfortable around him. He thought about Sam all the time. Jean hurt his feelings often, threatening to hit him and at times he did, not in the face, so it wouldn`t show.

Jean was frustrated of the fact that he had refused from having sex so often. Jean had even tried to bribe him. “I`ll buy you something nice, if you give me what I want. And tomorrow, we can do what ever you want.” Jean had suggested. “Are you bribing me? Trying to buy sex?” He had asked irritated of the fact that Jean didn`t understand when he said that he didn`t want to have sex just then. It was hard to want it when the other constantly abused him with harsh words and physical violence. “What if I am? Shouldn`t be anything new for a whore like you!” Jean had shouted and finally threatened that he would find someone else for having sex, if he didn`t give it. And what had he said to that? “Go ahead Jean. What are you waiting for? You`ll have my blessing…” He had been hurt and angry when saying it. Jean had hit the soft spot; reminding him about his past was just that.

With those words he had hurt Jean back, it sounded like he didn`t care at all, but he did. He missed the man that Jean had once been, man who seemed to have disappeared. He missed and loved that man and prayed that he would return. All though, he often wondered that the love might have been more like a gratitude than the real thing.

Michael felt guilty, he felt himself like the worst boyfriend ever. He truly didn`t want to be with Jean anymore. He knew that his heart belonged to Sam, but he didn`t know how to say it or how to leave Jean. It felt hard, it felt impossible. He was just too scared to leave and he thought that it would be stupid to even think that he could have someone like Sam to love him. Sam was too good and too pure for someone like him. He would learn to love Jean again, he had to.

“Things are fine between us” He answered finally, forcing a smile.

Sam had noticed the thoughtful expression on Michael`s face and he could see from his eyes that it wasn`t true what he said. Jean and him weren`t doing fine, he knew it, hell, he had seen it. Jean was an idiot who treated Michael badly and the worst part of it was that Michael seemed to think that he deserved it. Sam wouldn`t be able to look that much longer from the side. He would have to talk with Michael, talk with him truly.

Later that evening Sam and Kitty were walking home together.

“I`ll have to talk with him Kitty, soon…” Sam said as they had walked for awhile. Kitty looked at him.

“I think you should. I`ve seen the way you`re looking at each others…and you…you really seem to fancy him?” Kitty smiled. “Fancy? Hell, I think that I`m in love with him.” Sam told her.

“What? Am I hearing right? Samuel Grey, the boy who, just awhile ago, said; ‘I`ll never fall in love, nor want another relationship.’ Is in fact, in love right now?! Hallelujah! A miracle has happened!” Kitty laughed with joy, she pushed playfully at her friend`s side and wrapped her arm around his waist. Sam placed his own arm on Kitty`s shoulder.

”Well, I guess it`s a bit strange, but it had to someday.” Sam laughed and blushed slightly.

“I think you should definitely talk with him! It`s clear that he has feeling for you too. As I said, I`ve been watching the two of you and the looks have been very obvious. There has been so many times that I have had the urge to shout; Get a room you two!” They both laughed.

“What would I do without you Kitty?” Sam sighted.

“And what would I do without you? You are so dear to me and I wish you only luck. I hope that Michael would realize that you are the one for him and that he should leave that stupid French.” Kitty smiled and kissed her friend on the cheek.

“You are dear to me too Kitty…Tell me, how come I`m so nervous of telling him? My heart races even now when I only think about it.”

“That`s what the love will do to you Sam. Better get used to it.”

Chapter 18.

June 12th

It was Michael`s 23th birthday and they had invited friend`s over for the evening, including Michael`s friends. Jean hoped that this would help their relationship, if he would try to accept Michael`s and Sam`s friendship. He could feel that he was loosing his lover, if things wouldn`t change with them soon and Jean didn`t want to let Michael go.

He missed Michael`s touch, missed the sex, which Michael had refused from so often. It was because of Sam, Jean knew it, he had seen the way they were together. Michael had changed so much from the insecure, serious boy that he had met in New York. With Sam he was happy, he smiled a lot, he was joking and having fun. Jean wished that he could be that way with him.

Jean watched Michael from the doorway as he was getting dressed. He walked behind the younger man and wrapped his arms around him.

“You look delicious…” Jean whispered and caressed his body. Michael startled slightly and took few steps back from him.

“Not now Jean, there`s no time.” Michael said quickly. Jean expression darkened.

“When do you have the time now days?” He snarled.

“The guest`s will arrive shortly, that`s why there`s no time…Please…darling, don`t get upset” Michael smiled, hoping that it would relax Jean.

“Darling? It has been such a long time since you called me that…” Jean smiled and continued. ”After everyone leaves tonight, I`ll have you in bed, no more excuses love…” Jean came closer to him and kissed his neck. Michael stared at the wall in front of him. `But I don`t want to, I want…Sam` He thought. Jean was kissing his lips now. “Mmh…Can`t hardly wait…” Jean whispered. Michael was feeling uncomfortable.

The doorbell rang. Michael sighted with relieve and went to see who it was. He smiled as he saw Erick and Paul standing behind the door.

“Congratulation” Erick wished him happily and cave him a hug.

“Thank you.” Michael smiled and then hugged Paul, who had congratulated him too.

“So 23-year`s now? Still so young. Can`t hardly remember the time that I turned 23. We`re getting old Paul.” Erick laughed.

“Erick has a small middle-age crisis coming. Last week he thought he found a grey hair and he hasn`t talked about anything else since. Speak for yourself my beloved, I intend to be young still.” Paul joked and Erick smiled to him.

“Alright, alright. I stop going on about that hair, at least for today. Now it`s time to celebrate, right Michael? Here`s some wine and a small present for you.” Erick handed him the bottle and an Irish music cd.

“I thought you once said that you like this music?” Erick asked.

“Yes, I do, thank you so much.”

More guests arrived, including Patrick, whom Michael had hoped not to see that night. Michael looked at Jean with worry, he was drinking again and Michael could only pray, that he wouldn`t drink too much that night. Finally the doorbell rang and Sam arrived.

“Sorry, I`m late, I couldn`t leave earlier from work.” Sam said and smiled at him.

“It`s alright. Thank God you came…” Michael whispered and smiled back.

“I woldn`t have missed this for a world…Kitty couldn`t make it. She had to go to work. She said she would make it up to you later, she will take us to dinner or something like that.” Sam smiled. He was feeling slightly nervous, he had wanted to talk with Michael for several days, but every time he had tried, someone or something had interrupted them. Today he had decided to finally have that conversation, he just had to get Michael alone with him somewhere.

Jean came to the hall with them.

“Ah, Sam. I was beginning to think you wouldn`t show up today.” He said.

“I wouldn`t have missed Michael`s birthday for anything.” Sam told him and looked at Michael then.

“Happy birthday.” He smiled and handed him the present.

”Hm…it`s a book, isn`t it?” Michael asked smiling, after he had explored the packet.

“Open it and you`ll find out.” Sam winked at him.

“Come Sam, come to talk with us. You haven`t met all my friends, let me introduce you to them.” Jean said quickly, he didn`t want Sam and Michael to spend too much time with each others. Sam looked at Michael with surprise on his face, Jean hadn`t been this eager to introduce him to his friends before. Michael rolled his eyes at Sam and sighted.

He went into the bedroom to open Sam`s present in peace. It was a book about Egypt`s history. He had told Sam that history had been his favorite subject in school and that he was especially absorbed about Egypt. He read the birthday card on top of the book. “Happy birthday to my dear friend! Next year I`m taking you to Egypt, I`m not taking no for an answer 😉 While we wait for that, you can read this book. (ps: Look inside the covers)” Michael smiled and opened the book. Inside it, was a beautiful, silver cross necklace. Michael thought about putting it on, but then he decided that it wouldn`t be a good idea, when Jean was drinking, even a small thing like this could rouse his jealousy. `Tomorrow then` He thought with a smile and placed the necklace back inside the covers. He returned to the living room.

It felt as though Sam had talked with Jean for ages. Michael stood at the other side of the room with Erick and Paul and looked at Sam every once and awhile. Sam looked back at him as often as he could, so that Jean wouldn`t notice it too much. Patrick talked with them too and Michael smiled with sympathy to Sam, when he looked at him, shaking his head ever so slightly when ever Patrick opened his mouth.

“What`s going on between you and Sam?” Erick asked quietly behind him. Michael looked at him with surprise. “Nothing, I mean, we`re just friends.” He replied. Erick looked at him with doubt.

”What ever you say, but if I were you, I`d be careful.” He said then and looked at Jean`s direction. “I think you understand, I won`t say more.” Michael nodded, he looked at Sam and then at Jean, noticing only then that Jean was looking straight at him with an odd look on his face. Michael tried to smile at him.

Michael went into the kitchen, he wanted a moment in peace. He tasted the punch that Jean had made. Sam came into the kitchen with him. “I was finally able to escape from them, Jean and Patrick found more interesting things to talk about.” Sam said smiling and then looked at him with more serious expression.

“We need to talk.” He said.


”Not here, lets go somewhere more private?” Sam asked. Michael looked around.

“Okay, lets go over there.” He said then and looked over at the bedroom.

Michael walked inside, followed by Sam. The room was dim, with only moonlight from the window brightening it slightly. Michael walked over by the window and then turned to look at Sam. “Alright, what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?” He asked and looked straight into Sam`s blue eyes. “I think you know…We have been avoiding this subject for so long, even though we both knew that it was and that it is there…I think it`s time to talk about this truly, no more hiding…” Sam spoke and moved closer to him. He placed his arms around his waist and pulled him even closer.

Michael`s heart was beading fast when he felt Sam`s touch, when he felt him so close to himself.

“Sam…I …” Michael started, but was cut off when Sam pressed his soft lips against his own. Michael parted his lips to give Sam better access in his mouth. Everything else from around them seemed to vanish. Sam`s mouth tasted like strawberry`s and champagne. It was a perfect kiss with a lot of emotions that were hidden far too long. This was everything he had ever dreamed of, Sam was all that he ever wanted. Sam was touching his body all over and Michael squeezed him tighter against himself.

Suddenly he remembered where they were and pulled away from the kiss.

“Sam, we can`t do this…This is Jean`s home, I can`t…” Sam looked at him with confuse. Then he moved closer again. Michael was looking out from the window, his hand touching his own lips slightly, like he was still wondering what had just happened.

“I fell for you the moment I first saw you and I haven`t been able to think clearly ever since…You`re always, always on my mind…I have wanted to talk with you, about this, for so long…To tell you how…” Sam touched his chin and turned his face gently to meet with his. They looked in each others eyes.

“…I`m in love with you Michael…And I could make you happy if only you`d let me. I would never have confessed this to you, if I knew that you were happy with Jean, but I can see that you`re not…” Sam continued. Michael was quiet for a moment. He wanted to hold Sam, to tell him that he felt the same, but something inside him stopped him.

“It`s not that simple Sam, I can`t just leave. Jean has given me so much and I just can`t…”

“Do you love him?” Sam cut him off.

“Yes, I think…I don`t know anymore…” Michael answered fretfully.

“If you`d love him, you would know that.” Sam told him.

“You don`t understand Sam. Jean saved me and I really don`t know where I would be right now if…”

“I understand completely, but this isn`t about who saved who. It`s about what you want and feel. Isn`t it about time to do what you want for yourself and not what others want from you? Someone always gets hurt, that`s life and you can`t live your whole life for the others” Sam touched his face and looked deeply into his eyes. There was so many feelings running inside Michael`s mind; He wanted to leave, he wanted to be with Sam and to tell him everything he was feeling for him, but he was afraid. How could he leave Jean, who had given him a better life?

Michael sighted and nipped his bottom lip, he stared outside for a moment and then turned to look at Sam.

”He querido decirte esto desde hace mucho tiempo; cuánto realmente significas para mí. Mi corazón es tuyo, es a ti a quien quiero… pero tengo miedo, miedo de dejarlo, miedo de lo que podría suceder si lo hiciera…” He said finally, smiling sadly. He knew that Sam wouldn`t be able to understand him, but he had to say it somehow.

“What was that?” Sam asked, thinking that what ever it had been, it sounded really sexy.

Michael looked at him, touching his cheek gently, his sad smile never fading from his lips.

“Something I have wanted to tell you for such a long time, but it dosn`t matter now.” Sam kissed him again and Michael kissed him back, a gentle kiss full of desire and want. The words that Sam couldn`t understand echoed in his mind. He wanted to know what they meant.

“Sam…I can`t do this.” Michael whispered with sorrow.

Jean started to wonder where Michael was, Patrick had noticed his absence much earlier. Patrick went to look for him from the kitchen and then noticed the bedroom door that was slightly open. He walked closer and thought he heard someone talking. He peered inside and saw two men inside, realizing that they were Sam and Michael. They were talking about something, but Patrick couldn`t hear what it was. Michael held his hand on Sam`s face, Sam moved closer and they kissed. Patrick wasn`t too surprised by seeing this, he had always expected something like this to happen. He smirked evilly. Michael would be in serious trouble, once Jean would find out about this.

Michael and Sam stood there looking at each others and just when Sam was about to say something, something that would change Michael`s mind, the door opened.

“What are you doing here, in the dark?” Patrick asked and looked at Michael`s surprised face smiling. Michael didn`t like that look on his face. `Did he see something?` He wondered.

“We were just talking, it was so noisy out there, in the other rooms.” Sam hurried to answer. Patrick turned the lights on.

“You know, you can turn the lights on? No need to talk in the darkness, unless…”

Jean came into the room.

”Here you are Michael, I was beginning to wonder…” He said looking at them and then to Patrick.

”Is everything alright? The guests are starting to leave.” Jean said with suspicion in his eyes. Something was wrong and he could sense it.

“I was just leaving myself.” Sam said then, looking at Michael.

“Wait, I see you to the door.” Michael said and they walked past Jean and Patrick. Michael could feel how Jean was looking at him

“If you change your mind, you know where to find me. Think what I said, alright?…Take care now.” Sam whispered and looked at him with worry. He could see the way Jean was looking at them and his mind felt restless for Michael. He wouldn`t have wanted to leave Michael there, something was not right, he thought.

“I`ll be fine Sam, don`t worry…” Michael said trying to assure Sam with a smile.

When the door closed after Sam, Michael missed him already. He questioned his own decision of not leaving with Sam. He walked back into the bedroom, with hope that he still might see Sam as he would walk past the building.

Patrick walked quietly behind Michael and placed his hands on his shoulders.

“I saw everything Michael, what do you think that Jean thinks about all of this?” He whispered.

“Don`t touch me.”Michael snapped and turned around.

“Well, well, is this the way to talk to a man who knows your secret?” Patrick asked, clearly enjoying from this situation. At that moment Jean walked in.

“I leave you two alone for awhile.” Patrick said and left the room.

Jean stood there for a moment just looking at him.

“So, did everyone leave already?” Michael asked trying to forget about what Patrick had just said.

“Yes, they did.” Jean said with a cold voice.

“Did you have a nice time today Michael?” Jean asked walking closer to him.

“Yes, I did, thank you for arranging this.”

“It seems to me that you spend a lot of time here, in this bedroom…perhaps the party was more enjoyable here.” Jean said not taking his eyes away from him. Michael started to feel uncomfortable.

“What are you talking about?”

“Just what I said, that you enjoyed your time here, with Sam…”

“Don`t be absurd Jean, you have drank too much.” Michael said and tried to walk past him. Jean grasper his arm tightly and pulled him back.

“Am I absurd?…I know everything you little slut, Patrick told me what he saw here and you have the nerve to lie to me about it.” Jean bawled. Michael looked at him, not knowing what to do or what to say.

“It wasn`t what you think.” He said finally, knowing that he sounded stupid.

“Oh really? I think it was exactly what I think it was. I think you want to be treated like a whore like Ricky did.” Jean snarled.

“That`s not true, you know it! If this is what you think of me, then I think that it`s best for me to leave.” Michael pulled himself free and walked over to the wardrobe. He opened the door, took his suitcase and started to pile his clothes in it.

“Where do you think you’re going?!” Jean followed him and ripped the clothes from his hands.

“You’re not going anywhere, you still owe me a lot!”

“Stop it Jean! You can`t stop me from leaving!” Jean grasped him from his shirt collar and pushed him against the wall.

“Is that what you think? Just look at yourself, you`re trembling from fear. You`re pitiful Michael!…You know, I think that Ricky would still be interested of your where abouts, I might just let him know that…” Jean said tightening his grip on Michael, who still tried to brake free.

“You`re horrible!” Michael screamed, kicked Jean and tried to get to the door.

Jean reached him again and hit him on the face, Michael almost lost his balance and fell. He tried to flee, but Jean grasped him again and pushed him so forcefully that Michael hit the table with his side and this time he did fell onto the floor. Jean moved quickly on top of him, one leg at each side of him, holding his wrist down above his head. “Let go of me!” Michael screamed.

Patrick came back to the room. He watched the situation for awhile from the doorway. Michael tried desperately to free himself, but didn`t seem to succeed in it. Jean was tearing his shirt open.

“Stop it, Jean! Stop!” Michael screamed and tried to fight back even harder. As Jean tried to undress his jeans Michael managed to move a bit, trying to escape. Jean flipped him over to his stomach and succeeded to pull Michael`s shirt all the way off. Jean was pinning him against the floor with force.

“You`re going to get it soon, long and rough, that`s the way you like it, you whore.” Jean snarled.

”No, no! Let me go! Jean…no!” Michael screamed, tears forming in his eyes.

”Shut the fuck up!” Jean shouted, holdind his young boyfriend under him, feeling himself starting to harden.

Patrick came closer and Jean turned to look at him.

“Help me, hold him down.” Jean ordered. Patrick hesitated for just a second, but then did just what Jean had asked him to do. Patrick knelled onto the floor and held Michael`s wrist behind his back, forcing his upper body to lie still. Jean was pulling Michael`s jeans off of him. Michael lied there, with nothing, but his boxers on, at the mercy of these two men, his lover and his lover`s friend. He was panicking, scared as hell. Michael couldn`t believe that Jean was really going to do this to him.

Patrick was looking at Michael`s body with lust. He really was beautiful from the face as well as the body. He met with Michael`s eyes, the younger man was looking at him with hate and fear. For a moment Patrick felt guilty, he knew that this was wrong, but at the same time he felt aroused, so incredibly aroused that he soon forgot about the quilt.

Jean lifted Michael up to his knees in front of him. He held his arm around his neck and with his other hand he held Michael`s hands behind his back.

“So I`m not enough for you? Fine, have it this way then.” Jean hissed as Patrick sat in front of Michael on the bed and Michael could see that he was hard already.

“Does it look good Mike? Want to taste it?” Jean sneered to his ear. Michael shook his head, tears falling down harder.

“No, no, no…” He kept saying and trying to understand that Jean was the one doing this to him; about to hurt him, in the worst possible way that he knew. `Maybe they won`t do it, maybe they are just threatening me?` He tried to comfort himself, but when Patrick opened his trousers and took his hard cock out, he knew that they weren`t just threatening him.

Patrick rubbed his cock in front of him and moaned from pleasure.

“Suck him.” Jean ordered.

”No!” Michael screamed and tried to brake free. Jean`s hold on his neck became tighter.

“Do it, now!” He said firmly, forcing his head closer. Michael looked up to Patrick, with tear filled eyes. He hated him more than ever. He felt so humiliated being there, in front of him, half naked and helpless. Why did Jean do this to him? How could he do this to him? He kept asking silently.

Patrick took a hold of both side of his head and brought his mouth closer to his cock.

“If you bite it, I swear you`ll regret it!” He hissed. As the hold on his throat became tighter and tighter he finally had to open his mouth. Patrick fucked his mouth and at the same time Jean kept rubbing himself against his butt. Jean was hard, he could feel it clearly. The hold on his throat loosened and Jean moved his hand down on his body, inside his boxers. He fingered his entrance.

“Soon you’re going to get it in here.” Jean whispered. It felt hard to breath, his mouth possessed and violated, tears darkening his vision. Patrick took his cock out of his mouth and kept rubbing it with his hand.

“Perhaps Patrick wants to try your tight, little ass.” Jean said and lifted him up from the floor.

“Let me go, please.” Michael begged.

“No, I don`t think that we will cheri. I think you`re going to enjoy this just as much as we will. Although it dosn`t really matter if you don`t.” Jean laughed sounding more like Ricky than himself. Michael tried to run, but didn`t manage. Jean hit him and strike him down on the bed. He pulled his boxers off of him.

`This can`t be happening, this can`t be happening, I`m not here, not really here.` Michael kept telling himself. Jean sat in front of him, holding his wrists while Patrick sat on his thighs. Patrick squeezed his buttocks. It had been suck a long time since he had, had someone so young and good looking man. Patrick moved his finger inside of him and Michael screamed. All the horrible times with Ricky rushed back to him.

“Stop, please…Jean, please, stop this.” He cried. Jean pulled his hair and pushed his face on his crotch. Then he opened his belt and the buttons of his jeans releasing his hard cock, he tied Michael`s hands behind his back with his belt.

“Lick it.” Jean told him. Michael sobbed and Jean pulled his hair again.

“Do what I tell you to do! Or I`ll hurt you more.” And finally Michael listened to him.

Patrick placed a pillow under his pelvis and took some lube that Jean had given him. He put the lube on his opening and on his own cock and started to push inside him slowly.

“You fucking bastard, no!” Michael screamed in agony. The pain slashed through him as Patrick moved deeper inside him, all the way there. Patrick started fucking him slowly, quickening his speed with each trust. “Mmh…You`re so fucking tight…perhaps you haven`t been giving it so much as I thought you were…” Patrick moaned. Michael felt sick. Jean still held his hair tightly and rubbed his cock in front of him. Michael closed his eyes and tried to imagine that he was some place else. Patrick moaned, his body tensing, he came inside him. He rose up and changed places with Jean.

”Now you`re going to get some more and you`re going to get it hard and much more roughly.” Jean said as he thrust inside him. He was right, he was much more violent than Patrick had been. Michael screamed from the pain. “This feel so good, this is what you are made for.” Jean moaned. He came out of him and flipped him onto his back. “I want to see your face when I fuck you.” He said lifting his ankles over his shoulders and thrusting back inside of him. Michael turned his head a side, but Jean grasped his chin and turned him to look at himself. Jean kissed him, drawing blood from his lips.

His arms hurt badly as they had to endure all the weight coming on them, but on the other hand it wasn`t as bad pain, as the other down there. He tried to move and he cried from the agony. Michael looked at Jean`s eyes for a moment, the look in them was so cold, he seemed more like a stranger to him than his lover.

“Please stop, it hurts, hurts so bad…” Michael groaned, closing his eyes.

“It`s suppose to hurt, after all, you enjoy from pain, you slut!” Michael just couldn`t understand this, this wasn`t the man he had met in New York, that man had been kind and loving and now he had been placed by this bitter and cold man, who wanted to hurt him. Jean grasped his shoulders and groaned from pleasure as he came.

Jean and Patrick rose up, Patrick released his hands. Michael lied there, paralyzed from the shock. He was shaking all over.

“Do you honestly think that Sam would want you for any other reason than sex? You`re a fool if you think other wise.” Jean snarled and then left the room, followed by Patrick.

`You have to get up Michael, get up, get up now.` The voice in his head told him. He couldn`t stop from crying. Each move that he made hurt so bad, he groaned as he stood up from the bed. His legs felt so weak, like they would give up from under him at any moment. He tried to wipe most of the sperm and the sweat on his body away. He dressed with shaking hands. He knew he would be with bruises the next day. He packed his clothes from the floor to his suitcase and walked into the living room. Jean was sleeping on the couch and Patrick was no where to be seen, he had probably left home already.

Michael walked down the streets of Paris, he was feeling so lost, he hardly knew where he was walking, his instinct was leading him. It began to rain, he could have laughed, it was just so fucking perfect. His head hurt, he was cold and wet. The people that walked past him, looked at him strangely. He couldn`t blame them, he must have looked like quite a mess. He wanted to forget about what had happened, but his abused body, didn`t allow it, the pain seemed to run all over him, but still; the memory`s were the worst.

It felt as though he had walked forever. He stood in front of Sam`s door and looked at it feeling numb inside. He didn`t want Sam to see him like this, but where else could he go? He needed Sam, deep inside, he knew that Sam was the only one who could make him feel alright.

He rang the doorbell, it took awhile until Sam came to open. Sam had only his t-shirt and boxers on, he looked a little bit sleepy. Sam looked at Michael with shock. He had tear swollen eyes, red and slightly swollen lips, his cheek was little red from a bruise.

“Oh god…What did he do to you?” Sam asked.

“Come inside.” He added then quickly.

”You`re soaking wet.” He said with worry. Michael dropped his bag on the wooden floor.

“I didn`t know where to go and I thought that if…” Michael spoke quietly, his voice was trembling.

“Of course, you`ll stay here.” Sam said and hugged him gently.

“Everything is alright now.” Sam comforted. It was braking his heart to see Michael like this.

”Can I go to the shower?” Michael asked.

“Yes, of course you can. I just give you a towel and I`ll boil you some tea while you`re showering.” Sam said and went into the bedroom to get a towel.

“Here and there`s the bathroom.” He showed him, after he had returned to him with the towel and a bathrobe.

Michael came into the bathroom. It was hard to undress, the clothes had clutched on to his skin and his body ached when he had to stretch and pull them off. The jeans were the hardest part and for a moment he thought about asking Sam`s help, but then decided against it. He didn`t want Sam to see how helpless he felt and he didn`t want him to see the bruises on his body. Finally he managed to undress himself completely and stepped into the shower. He scrubbed his skin harshly, wanting the dirt away, wanting every trace of them away from him. He felt so weak. He stepped out of the shower and dressed the bathrobe on. He went into the kitchen where Sam was.

“Here`s some tea.” Sam offered the tea mug to him.


“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Sam asked carefully. Michael was quiet for a moment.

“Patrick saw us when we kissed and he told Jean…” Michael started. “…Jean didn`t take it so well, he had been drinking too much and then he…he and Patrick, they…they forced me to…” Michael stumbled over with his words, he looked at Sam very quickly, as though he was a shamed. Sam understood what he was trying to tell him and hugged him.

“I shouldn`t have left you there.” Sam said and felt the tears in his own eyes.

“You couldn`t have known, don`t think that.” Michael whispered. Sam looked at him touching his face gently. `How can anyone do something like this to other? Especially to your own boyfriend?` He wondered, feeling so helpless himself. He went to get some ice from the freezer and wrapped them into a towel. He then came back to Michael and pressed the ice gently on his bruised cheek.

“You better try to get some sleep.” Sam said then as Michael had finished drinking his tea.

They came into the bedroom.

“You can sleep here if you want to be alone, I can sleep on the couch myself.” Sam suggested.

“No, I don`t want to be alone, please, I want to sleep next to you?” Michael said and sat on the bed. He undressed the bathrobe and took the shirt that Sam had given him. He laid down and Sam laid next to him, wrapping his arms around him. Michael felt save in his arms. Sam touched his hair and his face softly.

“You`re save now.” He whispered and smiled gently.

Sam stayed awake, waiting for Michael to fall a sleep. He kissed his forehead very gently. He had never felt anything like this in his whole life, he wanted to protect the angel laying next to him from everything, he wanted to love him and give him happiness he truly did deserve, he hoped that everything would turn out alright eventually.

Chapter 19.

Michael startled awake from his nightmare and for a moment, he thought that he would find himself in Jean`s apartment and that he would find him laying next to him. His breathing was tense and he moaned quietly, not daring to look around himself. “Michael, is everything alright?” Sam wrapped his arm gently around him, soft lips pressed a gentle kiss on his forehead. Michael turned to look at the blond man next to him, to his friendly, blue eyes and calmed down. He smiled and nodded his head.

“I love you Sam.” He whispered and kissed his lips very softly.

“I love you too, very much.” Sam said and kissed him back. “How are you feeling?” He asked then.

“Well, better than last night, it still hurts though…”

“I saw a nightmare about last night, Ricky was in it too…It was horrible…” Michael spoke quietly and stared at the ceiling. Sam stroked his arm gently and slowly.

“Everything is alright now, you`ll never have to go back there again.” Sam`s voice sounded calming. Michael looked back to him, turned over to his side and snuggled closer to his warm body. Sam held him and stroked his back. He kissed his forehead.

“I feel so save here, I could stay here, in your arms the whole day, or a week or a…If I wouldn`t have to eat or go to the bathroom sometimes…” Michael muttered against his chest. Sam laughed softly and brushed Michael`s hair

“I wouldn´t argue to that at all, it feels good just holding you like this.” Sam smiled and continued.

“It`s still early, you should try to get some sleep. I`ll be here, right next to you.” He pressed another kiss on his forehead and stroked his back and his hair soothingly. Michael nestled even closer to him and muttered something that Sam couldn`t make any sense out of.

Sam smiled, he really could have been like this forever, to feel Michael`s warmth next to him and breath in his scent. He wished that the situation could be different though, that the reason that they were this close now, would have been different. He couldn`t understand people who could hurt others so cruelly, especially this warm hearted, young man next to him. `Why is it always the good people to get hurt?` He wondered silently. He really did want to defend Michael from everything bad that followed him. He honestly could have given his own live to save him and he had never felt anything so powerful for anyone. He listened Michael`s even breathing and knew that he had fallen back to sleep.

“No one will never hurt you again, I promise.” He whispered and closed his own eyes. He fell a sleep, his arms still around Michael`s body.


Jean woke up, his neck and his head ached after he had slept in a bad position on the couch. He smacked his dry mouth, tasting the booze from last night, it tasted like a rat had growled in his mouth and died, he really needed to drink some watter and brush his teeth soon. He rose up in sitting position and stretched his limbs. Then he remembered; Michael, last night, what he and Patrick had done to him. He cursed himself silently.

Jean rose up from the couch, ignoring his headache, he walked towards the bedroom.

“Michael?” He called. The room was empty, he checked the bathroom and the kitchen; empty. Michael`s suitcase was gone as well as the most of his clothes and some of his books and cd`s.

Jean searched his cell phone and tried to call Michael, he didn`t answer. He rang the second, third and the forth time; still no answer. He started to get nervous. He cursed, searched his car keys and his wallet and left outside.

Erick was just starting to make some coffee, when the doorbell rang. He stopped what he was doing and went to get it. “Jean, what are you doing here?” Erick asked with a surprised voice. Jean walked past him inside.

“Is Michael here?” He asked with an anger voice.

“No…Why would he be here?” Erick asked and looked at his friend in confusion.

“Call me if you hear from him.” Jean said and headed to to the door.

“Jean, What has happened? Did you two have a fight?” Erick asked quickly.

“It`s not your concerne.” Jean snapped and left. Paul had heard Jean`s voice and came to the hall.

“What was his problem?” Paul asked.

“I don`t know, he was looking for Michael…I have a bad feeling about this…I better try to call him.”


Michael woke up. Sam wasn`t by his side anymore, but he could hear noises coming from the kitchen. He rose up and searched his phone. There was eight calls for him already, all of them were from Jean. He pressed the voice back on to the phone. Sam came back to the room carrying a tray.

“Oh, you`re up already. I made you an English breakfast, but you have to be in bed…Oh, and don`t worry, this much I can cook.” Sam grinned. Michael smiled to him and climbed back onto the bed.

“Thank you, I can`t even remember the last time that someone made me breakfast in bed, I think the last person who did it was my mom…” Michael said and placed his cell phone on the nightstand.

“Has someone called you? You look so thoughtful.” Sam asked and sat beside him.

“Jean…eight times.” Michael said with serious voice and tasted his coffee. Sam looked at him, thinking.

“Have you thought about reporting to the police about this, about what happened.” He asked then.

“And to tell them what? That my boyfriend, sorry, my ex-boyfriend and his friend raped me? Do you honesty think that they would take me seriously?” Michael snorted and stared into his coffee mug. Sam touched his face softly and Michael lifted his gaze up to him.

“Why are you so good to me Sam? I can`t understand how you are able to touch me or even look at me after what happened.” Michael wondered.

“What they did to you, was wrong, so very wrong…I see you the way I always have; to me you`re an angel, too good for a world as cruel as this. It wasn`t your fault and don`t you ever think that it was. I hate them, I hate them more than I have ever hated anyone in my whole live, for doing this to you.” Sam looked into his eyes, held his hand and continued. “ I don`t think that you even realize, how much I honor you. You have gone through so much bad things and you have survived it all, kept your head high and smiled to the little good things in life, not many could have done that. Promise me that you won`t give up in the future either, that you`ll never let them brake you.” Michael felt the tears in his eyes. It had been such a long time since someone had looked at him like that, since someone had believed in him so much and respected him so.

“I promise…Maybe things will turn out better now…now when I`m with you…” Michael smiled carefully.

His phone started to ring and Michael startled, fearing that it might be Jean. He took his phone and sighted with relieve as he saw that it was Erick.

“Hello.” Michael answered.

”Hey, Are you alright? Jean stopped by here just a moment ago and he seemed a little bit strange.” Erick asked.

“I`m with Sam, I left Jean last night…” Michael told him.

“What happened? Jean wouldn`t tell.” Erick sounded really worried. Michael was quiet for a moment, he felt a lump in his throat even when he just thought about it. He felt that he would grumble if he would say it out loud again.

“I would rather not talk about it, not now, I can`t” He said, voice trembling a bit.

“Okay, would it be alright if I stopped by over there? “ Erick asked then.

“Wait, I`ll ask Sam.” Michael looked at Sam. ”Is it alright if Erick comes by here?” Sam nodded his head. Michael cave Erick the address and finished the call.

Half an hour later the doorbell rang, Sam went to open.

“Hey, come on in.” Sam told Erick, noticing the worried expression on his face.

“How`s Michael?” Erick asked taking his coat off.

“Well, considering the circumstances, he`s doing tolerably well.” Sam said and continued. “I think it`s best that I`ll tell you this, Michael dosn`t want to talk about it much just yet…Patrick and Jean raped him last night, after every one had left…Patrick had seen us kissing…” Sam sighted deeply. He looked at Erick who was really shocked.

“They did what?…Oh my god, I can`t believe…Jean?…Oh, my god…” He kept saying raising his hand over his mouth.

“It`s true, if you see Michael you won`t doubt it for a second.” Sam told him.

“Michael woudn`t lie about a thing like this, I know that…It`s just, I have known Jean for so long and it`s hard to believe that he…” Erick said, stopped for a second, like realizing something and then continued. “…Or perhaps I should have seen that something like this would happen, sooner or later.” Sam looked at him confused.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“I explain this soon, where`s Michael?”

Michael came from the bedroom to the living room, where Sam and Erick were. Erick looked at him and came to give him a hug.

“Oh, Michael I`m so sorry. I`m so mad at Jean right now.” Erick said.

“I told him what happened.” Sam told him.

“I have to tell you something Michael. Something that I should have told you in the beginning, I see that now.” Erick said, they had sat down. Michael and Sam looked at each others and then to Erick, not knowing what to expect.

“Oh god, how to tell you this… Look, years ago, before you met Ricky, he was with Jean.”

“What? Jean and Ricky? You can`t be serious…” Michael asked, he looked at Erick, hoping that he would say that he had heard wrong.

“It`s true…What Jean and Ricky had, was nowhere near of what you and Ricky had…I guess, there was just too much in common between them, both too strong willed and…” Erick spoke carefully, it seemed like a very hard thing for him to talk about. He looked and Michael and continued. “Don`t get me wrong…I don`t mean to say that Jean is the kind of monster that Ricky is. I once knew a boy, who was just a bit lost, but not bad in his heart. Jean has had a difficult youth, abusive parents, it hardened him, I think, but the time he spend with Ricky, changed him more than I ever truly realized, up until now. He didn`t talk about it, not to me anyways, so I don`t know the whole story between them…I know that Ricky left Jean and soon after, he found you. Jean came back to Paris at first, but then returned to New York to prove Ricky that he was better that him. To revenge his rejection. The best thing to do that, was to take you away from Ricky, or so Jean thought” Erick fell quiet for a moment to look at Michael, who had a very hard time understanding what was being said.

“Oh, god…How could I…How could he?…I don`t understand…He…?” Michael shook his head.

“I`m so sorry, that I didn`t tell you this sooner. Jean begged me not to tell you. I believed him, when he said that he had fallen in love with you. It had been a long time since he had been so happy as he was with you…Now, I don`t know if I know him myself anymore…The fact how ever is, that Jean has never taken a rejection sensibly.” Michael looked at him, still trying to understand it all.

“Jean and Ricky?” He kept saying over and over in confusion.

“Yes, you mean that man who you kissed with at the club?”
“Forgive me for saying this, but you didn’t seem to enjoy much from his company. No, I shouldn’t have said it, but would it hurt to make new friends? That is all I’m asking.” 
Michael could hear Jean`s voice clearly in his head, he remembered how Jean had looked at him, how he had smiled. He remembered Jean`s expression when he had told him about Ricky. Michael remembered Jean`s touch. “Shh…It’s alright babe, everything is alright, don’t cry. I wont hurt you. “ Michael shook his head wanting to forget. “I couldn’t leave knowing that you stay here with him. I wan’t you to come with me to Paris” Michael was shaking now, he had believed every word that Jean had said. Jean had been a great liar. `Who the fuck Jean really is? Who is the man I have been with, for two years? What`s the truth?` He wondered, lifting his hands up to hide his face.

“Michael…I really am sorry, had I known that something like this…” Erick started.

“You don`t have to apologize Erick. Jean is your friend and…” Michael had cut him off. “…I don`t know what to think…I…it`s better to find out about this now than never.” Michael said quietly.

“Jean truly dosn`t deserve you…I have never been this mad to anyone…Michael, you`re my friend and I hope that we could be that in the future…however, I understand if…” Erick looked at him sadly.

“Do you think I blame you? Erick, of course I don`t…You`re my friend, that will never change. You are not responsible of Jean`s actions.” Erick smiled and took his hand.

“I`m with you on this, one hundred percent. If you race charges against them, I`ll testify against them.”

“I`m not going to inform this to police, they wouldn`t believe if I did. I just, I couldn`t bear another humiliation, I just want to leave this behind me.” Michael told them.

“Are you sure? They would deserve a punishment.”

“I`m sure…I…I don`t want to…I couldn`t…Please don`t make me…I know that they wouldn`t believe me, they`d just laugh…I`cant…” Michael trembled from the mere idea of it.

“Alright, but if you change your mind…” Erick said and hugged him. “Take care now, call me if you need anything. You have a good man here, everything will turn out alright.” Erick looked at Sam and then to Michael. Michael smiled weakly to him. “Alright I leave you two alone now. See you again.”

“See you, and thank you Erick.”

Michael thought about everything he had just heard, after Erick had left. Everything seemed to be too much. He remembered the time that he had met Jean and what happened last night. On the other hand, it all made sense. The man he had met in New York, wouldn`t have hurt him like this, but it was all just a big lie, that man had never truly existed.

Michael sat on the couch and stared into the emptiness. Sam walked behind him and placed his hands on his shoulders. “What are you thinking?” He asked.

“How could I believe him? Why didn`t I see it? You think you know someone, you think you even love them and then everything changes, it all turns out to be a lie.” Michael said quietly.

“No one could have seen it, some people have just a natural talent to lie. He made you see what he wanted you to see. Even Erick believed him and he has known him much longer than you have.” Sam said, circled the couch and sat beside him. He wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close.

“I`m just so tired of this all, tired and weary…tired of being afraid…I may never get over the fear.” Michael whispered. “Everything will be alright, I`m sure of it…You just need some time.” Sam whispered. Michael smiled and pressed his head against Sam`s chest.

“Hm…I should start finding my own apartment…” Michael thought with a quiet voice.

“Own apartment? Why? I mean, you could stay here…I`d like you to stay here.” Sam said, Michael lifted his head up to look at him.

“Are you sure?”

”Yes, I`ve never been this sure about anything. I want to be with you…The question is will you have me?” Sam asked and smiled little shyly. Michael smiled and touched his face.

“Do you even need to ask?” He grinned.

“I told you I love you and if you would have understood what I said last night, you wouldn`t have the smallest doubt.”

“What did you say? You don`t know much it bothered me.”

“I told you, that I had wanted to tell you for a long time, how much you mean to me and that you have my heart, that you are the one I want…but I was afraid of him…” Michael looked at Sam and held his hand.

“I have your heart?” Sam smiled.

“Say it in Spanish again?”

“Mi corazón es tuyo.“ Michael said and kissed Sam.

“You know, you could say anything at all in Spanish to me and I would think that it would be something really beautiful. Even if you would say; Sam you`re the biggest jerk in the place of the earth and as dumb as a boot.” Michael laughed to Sam`s words softly.

“I would never say that, or think that.” He fell quiet for a moment.

“I just hope I would have left with you then, before when…” He said sadly, lied down on the couch and laid his head on Sam`s lap.

“Just remember, it wasn`t your fault. You didn`t know…” Sam comforted.

Kitty came by later that night, Sam had called her and told her what had happened.

“Those kind of men should be hanged from their balls, or cut their dicks of completely!” Kitty shouted in anger. He sat beside Michael on the bed and stroked his cheek gently.

“Can I send a hired murderer to get them, or can I kill them myself?” She asked, Michael smiled weakly.

“Calm down Kitty.” He said and took her hand in his.

“It`s hard, I`m just so mad. It`s so wrong! They would deserve a good beating, or worse.” Kitty snarled, staring at the wall in front of her and squeezing her hans into fists, like she would have seen the enemy in front of her.

“Kitty, it dosn`t help to rage. Trust me, I have tried…” Michael brought Kitty`s hand close to his chest.

“I`m sorry Michael, I didn`t came in here to shout and be comforted by you, it was suppose to go the other way around.” Kitty looked and him and smiled with shame.

“Don`t worry, I`m just glad that you`re here.” Michael said.

“You`re so great Michael, so sweet and so kind and oh, I just love you so much.” Kitty said and leaned over to hug him.

“I love you too Kitty.”

“I brought you some chocolate and books, Harry Potter`s, they always cheer me up.”

“Aren`t those children`s books?”

“No, grown ups read them too. Sam probably tries to tell you other wise, but don`t listen to him. These are really good!” “Alright, thanks Kitty.”

“When you are feeling better, I`ll take you and Sam out to dinner.” Kitty promised.

“That would be nice.” Sam came in to the room and smiled to both of them.

“I should be leaving now, you need to get some sleep. Good night.” Kitty said and kissed his forehead.

“Good night Kitty.”

Chapter 20.


Michael sat in front of the tv, watching the movie called; Amelie. He had, had the time to heal his wounds in peace. His employer; Mrs Gladstone had given him the time off from work. She didn`t know the whole story, but she did know about the jealous ex-boyfriend, who had beaten him up pretty badly. She hadn`t ask more questions, the fact which Michael was very thankful for. Jean had tried to call him several times, but Michael had decided to ignore him completely, or at least, he tried his best to do so.

Sam came home from work and smiled when he saw Michael. He was sitting on the floor, in front of the tv, eating some noodles and in front of him were also a bowl of strawberry`s, French bread and a large glass of ice watter.

“Hey Sam, I have a little floor picnic over here.” He said smiling and took some noodles with his fork and put them in his mouth. “I was bit lazy to make supper and then I had this strange urge to have some noodles so I went and bought some, do you ever get those kind of weird cravings?” Michael asked when Sam knelled onto the floor beside him.

“Cravings? Uh, yes, sometimes I do…” Sam answered. Though his thoughts at that point, were in some place totally different than in food. He couldn`t draw his eyes away from Michael. Somehow even him eating noodles was somehow beautiful and oddly sexy. Everything about him was that way, Sam thought.

“Do you want some? I could make you some or then you can eat the rest of mine. I`ve eaten enough.” Michael offered the bowl closer to Sam, but Sam still couldn`t draw his eyes away from him. “Sam? Didn`t you hear? What are you looking at?” Michael asked with a grin on his face. Sam awoke from his thoughts.

“Oh, I`m sorry, I just got lost in your eyes again…” Sam smiled and touched his face gently.

Michael looked at him, smiling back. He wondered what he had done to deserve someone like Sam. He was so good to him, he didn`t pressure him into anything. They had only kissed and held each others close and not once had Sam implied that it wouldn`t have been enough for him. It was something so very new to Michael.

Michael took one strawberry and brought it to his lips, he took one small bite looking straight into Sam`s eyes. He came slightly closer to the other man and bought the strawberry to Sam`s lips. Sam parted his lips and tasted the red berry with his tongue. He bite a small piece from it and finally ate it. The whole time they kept looking at each others.

Michael leaned even closer and kissed his lips gently and slowly. Michael placed his hand behind Sam`s neck to deepen the kiss. Sam moaned. He closed his eyes and enjoyed every minute of it. No one had ever kissed him like that, like Michael did. The kiss was filled with love and emotion. He had never known that a one simple kiss, could feel so good.

Michael broke away from the kiss. He looked at Sam, who sat there with confusion in his eyes, like asking; why did you stop? Sam licked his lips. Michael rose up, looked at him once
more and walked away. Sam stayed still, not able to move or to think straight. He would have wanted to kiss longer, he could have kissed him forever. He sighted and stared in front of him, the spot that Michael had sat just a moment ago.

“Sam? Are you going to join me, or are you going to sit there all night? It`s a bit lonely in here, without you…” Sam turned his head to Michel`s voice. He sighted when he saw him; standing there, leaning against the wall on their bedrooms doorway, with nothing covering his upper body. His brilliant, brown eyes were looking warmly at him, his perfect, full lips, turned to a smile. He had never before seen Michael`s naked upper body and he had truly never seen anything or anyone so beautiful. “Sam?” Michael asked smiling and finally Sam had back his ability to move. He walked over to Michael, who took his hand and leaded him into the bedroom.

Michael sat on the bed, leaned back and pulled Sam on top of him. They kissed softly and Michael started to lift Sam`s shirt up. Sam took the hint and took it off completely, he continued with the kiss as soon as he had managed to throw the piece of clothing away. The feel of the Michael`s naked skin against his own, felt amazing. Like he had never before felt it. Sam wondered why everything felt so different with Michael than with others; it was like feeling everything for the first time.

Sam hadn`t even notice, when they had shifted laying completely on the bed. He wanted to touch every part of Michael`s body, he wanted to kiss him always, to be with him always. Sam kissed Michael`s chin and moved to the side of his neck, down on his chest. He licked his other nipple, took in gently between his lips, nipped it slightly and then did the same with the other one. He listened to Michael`s breathing and moved his hands up to his sides. He kissed his way up to his lips.

Michael`s hands were on his butt, caressing it. His hands moved slowly on his front side to open his jeans. Sam moaned from pleasure against Michael`s mouth. His cock was throbbing, it was beginning to be uncomfortable tight inside his pants. He willed himself to draw away from the kiss. He looked into his loved one`s eyes, which were looking back to him with confusion in them. Then Michael smiled, realizing why Sam had stopped the kiss.

“I want you to make love to me Sam…I want you…” He whispered and lifted his head up to reach Sam`s lips with his own. “Are you sure? You don`t have to…I can wait…” Sam whispered between the kisses.

“Sam, didn`t you hear me? I want you, I`m sure…Make love to me, please?” Michael whispered in a way that made Sam even more aroused. Michael returned to his task. He pulled Sam`s jeans and his underwear to his ankles and Sam kicked them all the way off his legs.

Sam sat down and started to unbutton Michael`s jeans with shaking hands. He had never been this excited before, or at least he didn`t remember being. He had never wanted anyone this much. He undressed him as gently as he could. He never took his eyes away from Michael`s face, who looked back at him.

He stopped to look at his body, that had more beauty than in any art he had ever seen, than in anything he could have ever even dreamed of. He truly looked like an angel to Sam`s eyes, an angel that he felt so much for, an angel that had been hurt by the demons of this world. His skin was smooth, slightly tanned, you could see the lean muscles that delineated from under the skin.

Sam moved his hand on his naked thigh, pressing soft kisses on the delicate skin. He took the tip of his cock in his mouth, sucking and licking on it`s length. He heard how Michael moaned, his hands grasped the sheets into his fists. Sam added more speed, wanting nothing more than to bring pleasure to his angel. Michael ran his fingers in Sam`s soft hair. Sam moved with kisses up his body, until his lips found Michael`s once again. They moved their hips, their hard cock`s massaging against each others.

“Oh god…I want you Sam, inside me…I want to feel you, remember you and only you…to be yours completely.” Michael whispered. Sam looked deep into his eyes and kissed his lips.

“Are you sure?” He asked and Michael nodded his head.

Sam reached to the nightstand and took the lube. They moved to lay on their sides. Sam took the lube on his fingers and moved his hand behind Michael, between his buttocks. He found his opening and pressed his finger gently and slowly inside. They looked in each other eyes the whole time, Michael needed to see that it was Sam and no one else. Sam added a second finger, widening him carefully. He kissed Michael`s lips and his cheek. They listened to each others breathing. Michael took some lube on his own hand, massaging Sam`s cock with it. Sam added a third finger, Michael gasped slightly.

“Are you alright?” Sam asked. Michael smiled and nodded. ”I`ll stop if you want to, okay?” Sam whispered guiding Michael gently on his back again.

“I don`t want you to stop…I want this…I want you.” Michael assured.

They kissed again, Sam positioned his cock against his opening. Michael wrapped his legs around him and Sam started to move inside very slowly, he stopped once he had gotten himself inside all the way. The wawe`s of pleasure ran through his body as he felt the tightness`s and the warmth around his cock. They both were breathing fast. He pressed his forehead against Michael`s and touched his lips very lightly with his own. He began moving inside him with no rush, looking straight into his eyes. Michael moved his soft hands on his back.

Michael moaned, there was no pain and he was more than surprised by this. The pleasure ran through his body. Sam moved inside him, hitting some spot inside him that made it feel even better.

“Oh god, Sam…what…oh” Sam smiled to him and kissed his lips. Michael looked into his blue eyes, he was so close, they were so close. It was hard to tell where Sam`s body ended and where his began, they were like one and Michael had never felt such a warm wawe of happiness and love move through him.

“I love you.” He whispered softly.

“And I love you.” Sam answered, once again placing a kiss on his soft lips.

Sam started to move with more speed inside him, their sweat mixed together. They kept kissing each others, they moaned as they became closer and closer, Michael squeezed Sam`s shoulders, gasped and felt himself come only moments before Sam did.

Sam lied on top of him, catching his breath. They shifted to their sides, kissing. Michael felt the tears in his eyes.

“What`s the matter? I didn`t hurt you, did I?” Sam asked with worry and wiped his hair gently from his forehead.

”No, it was great…I`m just so happy…” Michael smiled. “I cry because I`m happy…I love you so much.” He whispered kissing Sam`s cheek.

“I have never been this happy too…That was better than I could have ever imagined. I love you so very much, more than anyone or anything in this world.” They laid there, said by side, talking and caressing each others for the rest of the night.


Michael was leaving home from his French class. He had just gotten outside when he saw Jean, waiting for him on steps of the building. Michael stopped for a moment and looked at Jean, who had also seen him. Michael started walking quickly towards the parking lot, where Kitty would be waiting for him.

“Michael, wait!” Jean shouted behind him and ran by his side. ”You haven`t answered my calls. I`m really sorry about what happened, I was an idiot, please forgive me?” Jean begged. Michael turned to look at him with anger.

“Do you really think that I could forgive you about what you did?! No, it`s over Jean…Besides I know everything about you and Ricky now. I never want to see you again, leave me alone!” Michael screamed and kept on walking. Jean however kept following him.

“Wait! You can`t leave me like this!” Jean shouted, but Michael didn`t stop.

He headed towards Kitty who had gotten out from her car, little unsure of what she should do.

“I can and I will, just watch me!” Michael screamed back at Jean.

“You played me for a fool Michael! You fucked with Sam, long before that night, you slut! And now you live with him? I`m not going to be cheated just like that.” Michael circled the car and told Kitty to get back inside. He opened the passenger sides door and looked at Jean, surprised of what he heard.

“Believe what you will Jean, if it eases you. However it wasn`t me who cheated on you, it was you who did it with lying to me about everything!” Michael answered with agitated voice. He looked at Jean once more before he got into the car.

They had driven for awhile, both in silent.

“Hey, are you alright?…Damn that mans nerve.” Kitty said finally, braking the silence.

“It will be alright, Jean will rage for awhile and calms down eventually….He will have the sense to leave me alone, I`m sure of it.” Michael said, not sounding so sure as he had wanted. `He just has to.` He thought to himself.

“Well, I hope that you`re right…Lets talk about something else now, okay? About this horrible traffic for example…Or lets talk about you and Sam and how you two are doing?” Kitty asked smiling.

“Although I saw Sam last night and he seemed happier than ever.” She continued.

“We are doing really good, Sam is wonderful and perfect and I`m madly in love with him.” Michael smiled.

“Good, I think he used those exact words about you as well.” Kitty told him.

They reached Sam`s apartment.

“See you again, perhaps tomorrow already, at the gym?” Kitty asked as Michael was getting up from the car.

“Yes, tomorrow then. Oh, and thanks for the ride! This was just unnecessary trouble for you, I could have walked or taken the subway, you know.” Michael said.

“But I promised to Sam that I would see you home safely and I`m a woman true to my words.” Kitty smiled

Once Michael had gotten inside, he went to the shower and drank a glass of wine, while waiting for Sam to come home. He missed Sam`s touch that would make him feel alright and to forget about Jean and everything else. The waiting seemed such a long time. He watched the door every once and awhile and tapped the armrest of the couch with his fingers.

Finally he heard the sound of the front door opening and nearly ran to hug Sam. He kissed Sam with passion.

”Finally you came…” Michael whispered.

“What did I do to deserve such warm greeting?” Sam asked with a smile and kissed him back. Michael smiled to him in a secretive manner, took his hand and leaded him to the bedroom. He guided Sam to sit on the bed and climbed to sit on his lap. He kissed him and started to open his shirt. Sam didn`t need much to get aroused. He ran his hands all over his lovers body and enjoyed from the closeness of him.

Sam laid down on his back and looked at Michael, who was taking his shirt off. Sam couldn`t help, but to wonder his beauty once again, it only seemed to increase with each passing day. Michael leaned closer and they kissed.

“Oh god Michael…” Sam sighted and rolled him next to him on the bed, on his side. They continued their kiss. Michael opened Sam`s jeans, undressing them off completely. He took Sam`s cock in his mouth and started gently sucking on it. He fondled his balls with his hand and then took them in his mouth and licked them. Sam moaned and reached with his hands to touch Michael.

Michael lifted his head and kissed his way up to Sam`s lips.

”You taste so good Sam, I can`t get enough from you, I love you…” He whispered massaging his body against him.

“I love you too…I missed you the whole day, it seemed that the time went by agonizingly slow.” Sam whispered and undressed Michael`s jeans.

“I want to know, how you feel inside me…” Sam moaned and turned over to his stomach. Michael kissed his neck and his back. He caressed his butt with his hand and took the lube. He brought his lubed fingers to his opening and pushed one in, very carefully. This situation felt so new and exiting, his first time this way around, and he was scared that he would hurt Sam. He added a second finger and a third, trying to do it exactly like Sam had done to him. He then lubed his own cock.

“Are you ready Sam?” He asked carefully.

“Yes, I need you so badly.”

Michael started to trust in slowly and stopped for a second once he had gotten inside, letting Sam to get used to the feeling of him. It felt so amazing already, new short of pleasure ran in every part of him. Sam lifted his hips up slightly and Michael started to move inside him.

“Mmh…you feel so good…” Sam moaned under him. Michael kissed his warm skin and started to add more speed. He moved his hand under him, to rub Sam`s cock. He felt how it started pulsating and finally erupted with the hot seed on his hand. Michael could feel himself coming too, he felt a pleasurable tingling in his toes and soon in his whole body. He moaned as he finally came inside his lover. He lied next to Sam, who turned around to kiss him. They snuggled closer to one another.

”So how was your day?” Sam asked smiling, after the moment in silent. Michael hesitated, but then decided to tell.

“Well, I saw Jean today…” He said with a quiet voice.

”Where? Did he do something to you? He didn`t touch you, did he?”

“No, he was waiting for me when I was leaving from my French class, luckily Kitty was there.” Michael told him.

“How dare he! He would better stay a far way from you, or I can`t be held countable of my actions.” Sam said with an anger voice.

“Sam, I`m sure that he`ll realize that I`m not going back to him and he`ll leave us alone eventually.” Michael said trying to assure himself as well. “Well I should hope so.” Sam sighted and kissed his forehead.

“My mom called today, she invited us to Nice, they have a villa out there. She`s dying to see you.” Sam said, wanting to change the subject.

“Really?” Michael asked. Sam nodded his head and smiled.

“So, do you want to go?”

“Yes, sure, it would be great to meet with your parents…I`m a little bit scared though, of what they will think of me…”

“They will love you.” Sam assured him.

“Have I ever told you, about how I told them that I was gay?” Sam asked and grinned.

“No, you haven`t…tell me now?” Michael asked and smiled back to him.

“Well, I was 15-years old and I was seeing another boy my age, he had told his parents about us and encouraged me to do the same. I remember thinking that my parents would be mad as hell and that would leave me and my boyfriend to fight back against the big bad world. So one fine day, I walked into the dining room, while my family were eating breakfast. I looked at them, lifted my chin up, and then announced in a very ceremonial manner; “Mom, dad, I`ve got something to tell you.” They looked at me very curiously and then I continued. “I`m in love with another boy, that`s right; a boy and we`re going to stay together no mather what you say to that. I have invited him over for a dinner tonight.” So I praised myself in a huge fight and then my mom smiled and told me: “Well, that`s nice dear, we`ll have to inform Albert that we`re having a guest. He isn`t some weird vegetarian, now is he?” I was in complete shock, my father wasn`t the least bit bothered by my news either. They told me that they sort of had guessed it already. And suddenly the relationship of mine, lost all it`s excitement. A week later we broke up. I had wanted to repel and I failed miserably.” Sam finished and looked at him with a grin. Michael laughed.

“I wish my parent`s would have been like that. My father wanted me to go and see a shrink and my mom was sure that everything would turn out right, once I would just meet with the right girl.” Michael shook his head.

“Yes, my parents are quite amazing, although I didn`t always realized it. I warn you though, they are a bit unique, so…well, just don`t be frighted.” Sam smiled.

“I Won`t fear a thing when I`m with you.” Michael whispered and kissed him.


Erick had avoided seeing Jean, for some time, he had wanted to calm himself down first before seeing him. After three weeks had passed, he finally decided to visit him, he thought that he would get the rest of Michael`s stuff with him.

It was a late night when he came to the apartment. He rang the doorbell and he had to wait some time before Jean came to open.

“Oh, it`s you. Came here to preach, now did you?” Jean asked bitterly. Erick looked at him long, it was clear that he was once again drunk, he had a half empty glass of hard liquor in his hand.

“Can I come in?” He asked.

“I think you`ll come anyway, wetter I wan`t you to or not.” Jean said and walked into the kitchen.

“I came to pick up rest of Michael`s stuff.” Erick told him, took his bag and went into the bedroom to get his clothes and some other stuff. He then came to the kitchen where Jean sat.

“Jean, what`s with you these days? I hardly know you anymore, you drink too much and what you did to Michael…” Erick started, but Jean cut him off.

“What I did? I did what the slut deserved, Michael cheated on me, I cave him everything and now that whore won`t even talk to me….You know something, Erick? I would do it again, if I had the opportunity and I`m sure that I`ll have that someday…” He said with an odd look in his eyes.

”You can`t mean that Jean?! Just listen to yourself!” Erick gasped, horrified of his friends words.

“And what if I do mean just that? You go and tell you new little friend, just like you have told him everything else? Hah…and here I thought that you were my friend, but that god damn whore has gotten you to join his side too.” Erick looked at him sadly and slightly scared of what he saw in him. Jean looked more like a stranger to him now, like his former friend had been taken over by a demon.

“You should stop drinking and come back to your senses. Can you not realize, that you could be in jail because of what you did? No one can blame Michael for not wanting to talk with you or be anywhere near you.” Erick said and turned to leave. “Yes, just go Erick, run away quickly and tell that whore that I said; hey.” Jean shouted and a drunken laughter followed his words.

Web published: My Secret Shore