5.So just

Betad by: koira

Chapter five

The boy looked quite out of place standing in the hall, near the front door, lost and somewhat nervous. The boy’s brown eyes peered around him carefully, the air in the house was mushy and smoky. Loud music played in the background, someone stumbled from the nearby bathroom with faltering steps, when somewhere else a bottle broke on the floor and heavy cursing followed. The dark haired boy startled, his one hand lowered onto the opposite shoulder and restlessly he moved his weight back and forth from one foot to the other: The child chewed his bottom lip and made a quick glance towards the front door, clearly wishing that was someplace else and it was no wonder; this wasn’t the place for someone so young. Jyri should have known that, however, the hunger for drugs must have gotten too strong to endure.

The young man observed the boy for a moment, taking a sip from his beer bottle and tilted his head before getting closer. ”Hi,” he greeted the boy who brought his gaze to him, the fearful gaze in the beautiful brown eyes turned doubtful, the boy furrowed his brows.

”Hey…” The kid mumbled, folding his arms over his chest.

”I haven’t seen you before, what’s your name?” The brown eyes looked at him for a moment, hesitatingly.

”Joni,” the boy finally replied and the young man smiled.

”My name is Aki,” He said, kneeling down. ”May I ask how old you are, Joni?”

”I’ll turn ten next week.” The child replied and Aki nodded.

”A big boy already…” He smiled and the child rolled his eyes as though he was bored with such lame comments. ”Would you like some candy?” Again a doubtful look, the boy seemed to hesitate.

”I’m waiting for my cousin.” He replied.

”There’s candy in the kitchen, I’m sure that your cousin won’t mind.”

”I have to wait here,” the boy said and Aki glanced around.

”It won’t take long, the kitchen is right there,” he smiled and pointed at the nearby door. The boy turned to look, hesitated once more and pondered his answer silently.

”I don’t know you…” He said then, probably remembering his parents’ advice not to take candy from strangers. ”I have to wait.”

”Yes… Perhaps a couple of more years,” Aki pondered out loud and nodded and the boy gave him a confused look. Hurried steps from behind them got their attention.

”What’s going on here?” Jyri’s voice asked tightly, he stepped next to his cousin and took his hand pulling him away from the man.

”I was only talking to your cousin, watching over him. You should know that this isn’t the place for one so young, rotten things might happen here.” Aki smiled. Jyri gave him a nervous look and observed his cousin who looked to be okay on the surface at least.

”Joni doesn’t need your company…” Jyri snapped. ”Let’s go,” He said and opened the front door. The boy glanced back once more and Aki smiled.

”See you, Joni,” He whispered quietly.

Misha’s uncle Grigory had been close friends with his father Viktor, they had been the same age and often went out together to fish or hunt. Misha felt quite uncertain of how his uncle would take his and Joni’s visit. It was close to one in the afternoon when they rang the doorbell of his uncle’s home. The apartment building which they lived in was a five story house build in the 60’s, it wasn’t at its best condition, in their apartment there were only two bedrooms, one belonging to his cousin Annushka who was eighteen and the other to Nikolai who was fourteen, their parents made their bed in the living room every night. Annushka, however, had gotten into a school in Moscow and would move in with her aunt’s family, so this would be the last summer in her childhood home.

They brought a bottle of wine and flowers with them, Grigory greeted them stiffly, his wife thanked them for the gifts and Misha’s cousins gave Joni a curious look. They were led to the living room, the décor of the house was dark, there were a couple of pictures on the wall where Grigory and some other men stood proudly with their guns next to a moose and, in one of them, a bear that they had shot. Joni swallowed and sat on the couch next to Misha, Grigory sat down on the opposite side of the living room and gave him a harsh look while his wife brought them juice from the kitchen.

A clock was ticking loudly somewhere close by, the atmosphere was awkward, Grigory wasn’t sure how to talk to his nephew and his partner. Annushka sat close to Joni and observed him with an eager smile as if waiting to talk to him but didn’t dare to say anything just yet, waiting for her father to say something first.

”Grandma said that you got into a school in Moscow?” Misha finally started and Annushka gave an eager nod.

”Pedagogy, I’d like to become a teacher.” Annushka replied.

”She can barely sit still. I’m glad that Agata and David will be watching over you, I wouldn’t dare to let you go otherwise,” the man smiled for the first time since their arrival. Agata was Misha’s aunt and David her husband.

”Dad, I’m eighteen already!” Annushka protested with a giggle. ”I’ll be fine on my own.”

”Moscow is a big city,” Grigory said. ”There’s all kinds of crazy people out there roaming on the streets.” Misha felt amused by the conversation and smiled with sympathy to his uncle who sighed and then turned his attention back to him and Joni. ”So, you two are living together?” He finally asked and Misha nodded, glanced at Joni and took his hand sensing how nervous he was, he didn’t even understand what they were saying.

”We’re currently living with Ivo, but we’re looking for our own place and Ivo’s thinking about selling our current home.” Grigory watched their joined hands looking uncomfortable before he cleared his throat and nodded. His wife was busy in the kitchen.

”Why don’t you go and help your mother.” Grigory said to his daughter who huffed at this.

”Why only me? Nikolai can come as well, to set the table if nothing else! This isn’t only a woman’s job!” Annushka snapped and Grigory let out another heavy sigh and waved at his son to go into the kitchen as well. Nikolai grumbled and for a moment Annushka looked triumphant.

”You’re such a feminist…” Nikolai complained while following his big sister in the kitchen.

”I’m only training you to be good husband material, you’ll thank me later, or at least your future wife will thank me.” Annushka chuckled. Grigory was quiet for a moment after they left, tapping his fingers together.

”And you’re openly together there in Finland?” He asked with slight insecurity and Misha nodded.

”It’s not always easy… We’re mostly left alone, but Joni being a…”

”Model, yes, Annushka told me… he’s been in magazines and such?” Misha let go of Joni’s hand since this gesture clearly made his uncle uneasy, though Misha had to give him credit for trying his best.

”Yes… It can be a bit tedious at times, but…” Misha shrugged. ”It is what it is.”

Again Grigory glanced at Joni. ”I was surprised, I didn’t think that you… You seem so..” His uncle struggled to find the right words as he brought his gaze back to his nephew. ”Well… not like…” Almost hesitantly, he brought his index finger up and Misha almost laughed.

”Flamboyant? Feminine?” Misha suggested cocking his brow and now Grigory smiled as well.

”Well, yes, you seem so manly…”

”I am a man, I just happen to like other men, especially this one,” Misha said, referring to Joni. Grigory nodded and again glanced at the dark haired youth, it still felt odd to him, the idea of two men in a healthy long lasting relationship, but perhaps these two really were serious and at least Misha didn’t bring some bald headed junk of a man or some makeup wearing freak who dressed in woman’s clothes. Grigory had to admit that Misha’s boyfriend also looked like what a perfectly normal young man should.

When they finally sat down to eat, the atmosphere had lightened up so that Joni could sense it as well. They served fish that Grigory proudly talked about having caught himself the day before, there was also a serving of vegetables, potatoes, herbal sauce and wine. After they had eaten, Annushka dragged them into her room where Nikolai also followed with slow steps. Annushka spoke fairly good English, Nikolai was still practicing, but told them that he had made up his mind to learn because he dreamed of traveling when he was grown up.

Annushka told them how she had found out about them; she had enjoyed reading gay fanfiction, for example she listed Harry Potter related stories where Harry and Draco got it on with each other. For the start she had read these stories at her friend’s house because they hadn’t had an internet connection. Then she persuaded her dad by agreeing to pay for it from the small salary she got from her work that she did between her studies. She had online friends all over the world. USA, Britain and Finland and this Finnish friend had once, over a year ago, sent her a picture of Joni and told her that he was openly gay. She had recognised Joni as Dima’s friend, having seen his picture in Dima’s facebook account before. And then, when her friend told the gossip that Joni had started dating a Russian man and sent a copy of a picture of them in a magazine, it had been easy to recognise her cousin, even though his face was covered in it.

Annushka explained the whole thing with excitement while Nikolai listened nearby feeling somewhat awkward. The girl also happened to reveal that she had read a story where Joni had been used as inspiration for one character, a role model to be exact and Joni exchanged a somewhat horrified look with Misha, did he even want to know all the crazy stuff one could find online? Annushka was now pretty popular in her little online group after telling them about her cousin and finally she practically begged to take a picture of them. Feeling somewhat uneasy, Misha and Joni agreed to a photograph where they sat on Anushka’s bed, Misha’s arm around Joni’s shoulders.

They left at half past four, would make a quick turn at Misha’s grandmother’s to change and Galina would pick them up at seven. They’d spent the night at Pavel’s house, who was arranging the house party that they were attending.

”That was… pretty weird.” Joni took note while they drove. Misha chuckled shortly.

”It was,” The blond admitted. ”Harry Potter gay fiction? Of all the things…” He frowned then. ”Though I’ve heard that there are such stories of Star trek.”

”I really don’t want to know what kind of character I’ve inspired,” Joni chuckled. ”It’s horrible. The mere thought of it is …disturbing!” He shook his head and stared out of the window. Misha’s hand moved on his thigh while the other continued to hold the steering wheel.

”You inspire me…” Misha grinned, keeping his eyes on the road. ”We could write our own fiction…”

”Only a fiction?” Joni teased and the blond caressed his thigh for a moment longer. He checked the time that was nearing five, they’d still have two hours left.

”What if we drove somewhere a bit more secluded?” Misha suggested.

”Why?” Joni inquired with fake innocence and Misha gave him a pointed look. ”Oh… I think I know…” The brunet said and brought his hand on his boyfriend’s thigh, moving slowly up. ”I think I found something..” Joni grinned, pressing his hand gently over the bulge and Misha sighed.

”Now you can only blame yourself…” He commented and turned the car swiftly to the forest road on their left. Finally Misha parked on the side of the road, the place looked secluded enough and he turned to his boyfriend, glanced quickly around the car before opening his and Joni’s seat belt. He brought his hand behind Joni’s head and kissed him hungrily. Joni sighed, closing his eyes while his hands fumbled to get Misha’s zipper open while Misha’s hands focused on doing the same thing to him. Misha leaned forward, slid his hand inside Joni’s open pants and caressed the velvety surface of his hard organ, Joni moaned in pleasure and Misha grinned while watching the enjoyment that had formed on his face before he leaned forward and kissed the tip of Joni’s cock. His position wasn’t the best possible one, but at that moment it didn’t matter, only the moment mattered and enthusiastically, Misha’s lips parted, taking Joni’s hardness between them.

The dark haired man brought his head back, licked his lips and moved his hand through his boyfriend’s soft, blond hair. Joni felt the heat rising on his cheek as Misha gave him oral sex, they had been so careful for a long time, sex happened only behind closed doors so that there wouldn’t be any danger of anyone seeing them. This place was quite a risk, excitement increased the passion and Joni felt surprised by his own feelings. A small part of him still worried, was concerned that someone might catch them and he was almost on the verge of pushing Misha away, when pleasure got the best of him and the voice of worry faded. When he finally reached his orgasm, Joni gasped and shivered from the pleasure that he had experienced. He gave his boyfriend a languid look, who met with his gaze and grinned playfully while licking the remains of his seed from his lips. Joni smiled and gently touched Misha’s hair with his hand.

”Thank you,” he whispered and Misha brought his head up giving him a demanding kiss and Joni could taste himself on his lips. A crackle from nearby made them snap back into reality and Joni looked quickly around, his heart beating madly. An old woman had just stepped from the forest onto the road, she held a basket in her hand and she was looking towards their car with a frown on her face, the distance was long enough that she couldn’t really see inside, but… it had been close. Joni pulled his pants up quickly, his hands were shaking and at the same time Misha was giving a sour look to the old woman and pulled his own zipper up. Why did that granny have to appear just now to ruin their moment? Especially when he had been left without satisfaction.

”Well, let’s get going…” The blond said and started the car.

”I’ll make this up to you later…” Joni promised smiling and lowered his hand on his thigh. Misha pondered how much later this might be, because at that moment he felt like he could explode with frustration and unsatisfied lust and at his grandmothers place sex would feel too… weird.

They got to the house, Joni took a quick wash and then after checking his tablet, started to ponder in their room what he would wear, he had many options after all… Misha had made his choice quickly and now sat on the bed in a half lying position playing with Joni’s tablet. Out of the corner of his eyes, he observed his boyfriend’s movements. Joni was walking around in his boxers, reading glasses on and took a white button up shirt from the closet moving in front of the mirror to see how it looked. Misha observed Joni’s sinewy thighs, the curve of his buttocks, the abs that showed between the open shirt and sighed. Joni had to do that on purpose, keeping those damn glasses on, what other reason had he to wear them now? Apparently he had some sort of fetish about Joni wearing glasses, Misha pondered and felt a throbbing between his legs; he felt horny, really horny and annoyed that he couldn’t get relief even though his boyfriend paraded in the same room wearing next to nothing.

Misha got up from the bed and lowered the tablet down on the table. He was about to walk over to Joni, when he heard from downstairs; ”Misha, Galina is here!” Joni glanced at him through the mirror, fixing his hair, bare chest and stomach flashing through his open shirt and Misha watched him for a moment before sighing heavily.

”Galina is here, I’ll go downstairs to wait.”

”Alright,” Joni replied, smiling at him before focusing his gaze back onto his reflection.

Galina waited in the living room talking to Anna when Misha arrived. The woman smiled brightly when she saw him and got up on her feet. ”It’s wonderful to see you after such a long time!” She said and hugged her friend tightly when he had gotten closer.

”Right back at you,” Misha replied.

”Well, where’s Mr. Wonderful?” Galina inquired.

”Upstairs, changing his clothes, which might take a while.” Misha smiled slightly crookedly before taking a seat.

”Would you like a cup of tea or juice perhaps?” Anna asked and Misha shook his head.

”I could take a glass of juice,” Galina replied and smiled at the old woman who headed to the kitchen. ”Well Misha, what’s eating you?” Galina asked.

”Nothing…” Misha sighed and glanced at the time; five minutes past seven. ”And how are you?” He asked with a somewhat lazy smile, leaning against his arm.

”Same old,” Galina replied. ”I dream of winning the lottery or finding a rich man… Until then I’ll serve too strong coffee and day-old puns to nearly toothless old people.”

”Sounds exciting,” Misha joked.

”Indeed.” Galina nodded. ”That wealthy model of yours wouldn’t happen to have a brother?” She grinned.

”He has, two in fact, but they’re a little too young for you.”

”Really? How young?”


”Oh well… Perhaps they could grow up a few more years,” Galina sighed.

”What happened to the one man you talked about the last time?”

”Boris?” Galina asked. ”He drank too much and was constantly broke.”


”I need a man who does more than just drink all his money… It’s a shame that all the good men seem to have disappeared, or that some male Finnish model has completely swept them off their feet,” again Galina winked, Misha smiled and his grandmother returned bringing Galina a glass of juice that she had asked for. All three of them chatted for a while and when Misha checked the time once more, he decided that it was time to check what was taking Joni so long.

When he got into the room Joni stood in front of the bed on which he had five different shirts folded neatly, he had lightly colored jeans on that fitted him perfectly and a white tank top and now he seemed to ponder which of the five shirts he should wear over it. ”Will you be ready soon?” Misha asked when Joni moved back in front of the mirror to try a dark button up shirt on. The dark haired man glanced at him through the mirror.

”Just a moment, I think I’ll wear that other shirt after all,” Joni decided and turned back to the bed taking off the shirt that he had on. He then took a white long-sleeved shirt with a v-neckline and pulled it on, again walking to the mirror. Misha watched his boyfriend, who ran his hands over his sides giving a thoughtful look to his reflection. ”Perhaps the other one was better?”

”Hey, Galina has been waiting downstairs for almost half an hour, it doesn’t matter what you wear, just wear something!” Misha huffed impatiently. Joni gave him a hurt look, his lower lip curved, Misha never got it and clearly he was exaggerating the time…

”I just want to look good in front of your friends, what’s so wrong with that?”

”Listen baby, you’d look great even if you were wearing a potato sack,” Misha sighed. ”But if I have to choose, I’d keep that white shirt, it looks better.”

”You’re only saying that because it’s already on me,” Joni guessed but decided to keep it on regardless and then fixed his hair for a moment longer. ”I’m ready!” He sighed when he saw Misha’s eye rolling and frustrated hand gestures in the mirror.

”Thank God!” Misha sighed. ”Let’s go,” he added and headed back downstairs after taking the bag where they had packed their change of clothes and toothbrushes. Joni followed Misha to the living room where Galina sat talking to Anna. ”I’m sorry you had to wait, Joni’s always taking his time changing clothes, he spends more time grooming himself than any woman that I know,” Misha complained in Russian and Galina gave an amused look to the dark haired man that stood behind him.

”Really nice to criticize me in a language that I can’t understand,” Joni grumbled. ”I could criticize you in Swedish or in German then…”

”And how do you know that I was criticizing you just now?” Midsha inquired. ”And to whom were you thinking about complaining about me in Swedish or in German?

”You mentioned my name, it’s easy to guess when you already groaned about me upstairs and… Oh just forget it!”

Galina and Anna followed the men’s argument that happened in Finnish with amusement. ”Well boys, you’re both ready now though, right?” Galina interrupted them in English. Misha nodded, Joni still seemed to pout but then he managed to pull himself back together and smiled at the woman who watched him. Galina was beautiful, Joni thought, she had red, naturally wavy hair and gray green eyes, her skin was fair and she was tall and lean, stylish, just how Joni always imagined Russian women to be. ”And hi Joni, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you, I’ve heard so much about you,” the woman grinned as they shook hands and Joni glanced at Misha pondering what exactly had he told.

”Likewise,” he replied with a smile.

”Alright, let’s get going then, the others must be waiting.” Misha nodded and they said their goodbyes to Anna.

Joni sat in the back seat and Misha in the front next to Galina. Joni didn’t feel like going to the party anymore, most of the guests wouldn’t know that they were a couple and Misha preferred to keep it that way. For that evening they’d have to pretend to be nothing more than friends. And most of the people wouldn’t speak any other language besides Russian. Joni wasn’t sure how he should behave, but perhaps he could amuse himself by teasing Misha? – It had, after all, been his favorite game for a long time, Joni pondered, cheering up slightly.

”What were you two arguing about?” Galina inquired in Russian while she drove. ”It can’t have been just about clothing?”

”It wasn’t serious,” Misha replied and glanced at Joni who was looking out of the side window with a thoughtful mien. ”It wasn’t serious, right Joni?” He asked.

”What?” The younger man asked abashedly and looked at him.

”Our quarrel,” Misha clarified. ”I’m sorry for being impatient.”

”I’m used to it, you’re forgiven,” the younger man replied, causing Misha to smile.

”I’m forgiven,” he said to his friend and grinned.

”Good,” Galina chuckled.

”And I know what’s really bothering you…” Joni added and now he had a mischievous glint in his eyes when Misha looked back at him. ”And it wasn’t just about me taking so long to change…” Galina glanced at the young man through the rearview-mirror wondering what he might have said.

”I knew it,” Misha sighed, Joni had knowingly teased him. ”Just wait and see brat, I’ll show you…”

”I should hope so…” Joni grinned and again Misha glanced at him, it would be difficult to act straight that evening, he was sure about that.

         Web published: February 22nd, 2013.

            My Secret Shore


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