4-5 Love and broken hearts


Damn my ass is sore; it’s the first thought on my mind when I finally decide to get up from bed. I wrap a towel around my waist and seek some clean clothes to wear. I need a warm shower.

Pete walks in my direction and looks at me with a stupid grin on his face.
”Slept well darling?” He asks. For some reason, he’s obsessed with calling me, darling. I wonder how his boyfriend would like that.

”Mmh…” Is my only reply, before I hurry past him towards the bathroom.

”I made you some breakfast bunny,” Joni tells me with a sweet voice when I walk into the kitchen, after my shower. He pulls me close and kisses my neck. I wonder what got into him? And bunny? He’s never used that one before. I look at him in a confused manner as Joni guides me to sit in front of the table.

Kim walks into the room and glances at me in a funny way, he doesn’t even return the smile I give him or answer when I wish him good morning. I start to worry; have I said or done something last night to make him upset with me? I guess this is why you should never drink alcohol…

”Do you not like it? You should eat it now bunny, I made it just for you.” Joni asks with a pout on his face. What in the world is this sudden bunny thing? I look at the plate in front of me: cheese and tomato omelet, toast, and some fresh strawberries and fruits. I taste the omelet.

”It’s really good, thank you, honey.” I give him a quick kiss on the cheek and a smile. He isn’t the type of a guy who does things like this very often, but when he does, he does a great job with it. It makes me appreciate him even more.


Everyone is looking at me, at us, a bit oddly today. They keep grinning at us and making stupid jokes. One could think that they’d never heard anyone having sex before. One could think that they’re just a bunch of teenagers, rather than adults.

”What’s up wild cat?” Sami asks with a sly smile when I walk towards the shore. I roll my eyes and pretend that I haven’t heard him.

I sit on the pier and soak my legs in the cool water. I close my eyes; enjoying the warmth of the summer sun.

Marko’s sudden laughter disturbs my relaxing moment; the dock is swaying with his footsteps.
”Had a good session this morning, now did you? It sure was loud, to say the least.” He laughs, his cool hand touching my neck, I have no idea why. I shrink back and turn to look at him from over my shoulder.

”It was mind-blowing, like always,” I tell him.

Marko stretches his arms, walks to the end of the pier, and then poses like some runway model. I gaze towards the cabin; Joni, Pete, Sami, and Tuomas sit on the terrace, Riku is trying to light the fire on the grill but fails as he becomes too concentrated on staring at Marko’s butt. They all look at him, as he keeps showing himself off; enjoying the attention that he is getting. 

To my annoyance, I can see that Joni is watching him as well.  Even from this far distance I can see that there’s more in that look than just innocent curiosity.

Marko looks at me, grins, and starts undressing his shorts, revealing the rest of his perfect body.

Marko kind of reminds me of Paris Hilton, from the ’simple life’ tv show, you know? He is like the male Paris Hilton; a blond, who doesn’t have much going inside that pretty head of his. He flirts with like everyone and I’m pretty sure that he cheats on Pete whenever he gets a chance to do so.

I take another look at Pete, who is staring at his boyfriend from where he’s sitting. Pete is the oldest in our group; he’s thirty, already losing his hair and gaining a bit of a beer belly; not someone that you would look at twice if you’d pass him by on the street. Marko is my age; which is nineteen. We’re the youngest ones here, we went to the same junior high school, but we were never really friends.

Looking at Marko a certain song starts to play in my head… I ain’t saying he’s a gold digger, but…

The reasons why Marko is with Pete; a) Pete is rich, b) Pete owns this luxury cabin and a big seaside house in Helsinki and c) Pete is rich. So, as you might have already noted; a) and c) are indeed the same thing, and that b) is kind of the same thing too.

And the reasons that Pete is with Marko? A) Marko is good-looking, b) Marko is a blond, who has a great body, and c) Marko is a young, good-looking blond, who isn’t spoiled with much sense. And again you probably noticed that a, b and c are the same thing.

Marko jumps into the water, disappearing under the surface.
”Come and swim with me, Jesse.” He says as he appears back up, he swims close to me and starts pulling my leg.
”Stop it.” I snap at him. I’m really not interested in joining his stupid games.

He forces my legs apart and comes standing between them, keeping his hands on my knees.
”What do you want?”

”Don’t always be such a tight ass, Jesse.” He whispers, his hands moving up my thighs, until he wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to the edge, closer to his stomach. A moment of confusion takes over me, as I feel Marko’s hot breath on my skin. He looks up; the beautiful green-blue eyes of his sparkling, his blond hair wet, lips slightly parting. He grins, looks towards the cabin, and then slowly back at me.

I turn my head towards the cabin as well, only to notice that everyone is watching us. Joni looks slightly odd, and Pete looks interested.

”You’re in need of a bath,” Marko whispers suddenly and with one quick movement, he pulls me under the water with him.

”You’re such an arsehole!” I scream as I pull back to the surface. I try to get back to the shore, but Marko wraps his arms around me and pulls me deeper with him.

Marko laughs as I keep squirming and for a while, we wrestle in the cool water. The fact that he’s completely nude suddenly dawns on me completely, as I feel it against my back. Now is it just me, or is he getting slightly turned on by this? ”Damn it Marko, grow up will you!” I snap at him as I finally manage to get free of his hold. I walk quickly towards the cabin.

”Bunny, what’s wrong?” Joni asks with a babbling voice when I walk past him.

”A bunny is up to your arse!” I snap and close the front door with a loud bang after I’ve gotten in. I’m not exactly sure why I’m acting the way that I do and dimly I realize that I’m acting like some woman during her period, but I don’t care. I can have a tantrum if I feel like it; damn it!

After I’ve changed my clothes, I walk back into the kitchen and find Kim sitting there, in front of the table. He stares at the half-full glass of orange juice in front of him, looking thoughtful. I sit opposite him.
”Kim, is everything alright?” I ask carefully. He glances at me and then back at his hands. ”Have I done something wrong?” I ask when I get no reply. Kim takes a deep breath.

”Why do you let him use you?” He asks, looking at me.

”Excuse me?”

”Just yesterday, you were complaining about how it makes you feel so uneasy when Joni is always all over you. Then this morning; you were moaning like some slut in heat so that every one of us can hear how he fucks you. Do you not have any self-pride?”

I look at him with shock written all over my face. Never did I imagine that I would hear something like that from his lips.
”A slut? Is that what you think of me? Joni is my boyfriend and of course, I want to have sex with him. I thought you were my friend and not someone to judge me.” I stand up, looking at him with disappointment and hurt.

Kim stands up after me and takes a hold of my arm. I look at him, waiting. His eyes are glimmering with tears and I can’t understand what’s going on.
”Jesse, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean… I just…” He starts, swallowing nervously, his eyes meet with mine. ”It doesn’t mean that when you’re with someone, you should just surrender to them even though you wouldn’t want it.” He tells me. I’m more than surprised now, he really thinks that… Oh, he thinks that Joni is forcing me in some way? His worry is both touching and amusing at the same time.

”Don’t worry Kim; I have not done anything that I wouldn’t have wanted. Forget about what I said, I was drunk and I… just forget it. Everything is alright, I wanted it, and I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t.” I assure him. Kim looks like he wants to say something else; he is already opening his mouth, but clearly hesitates.

”I really am sorry Jesse, about what I said. It was stupid.” He says finally.

”It’s alright, really; it is,” I assure and place my hand on his shoulder. Kim looks at my hand and then at me in a funny way.

”Jesse, we need more beer and more food to grill. Since you’re the only one with a driving license who hasn’t had any alcohol yet, would you mind driving to the store?” Riku, who has just walked into the kitchen, asks.

”Yes sure, no problem,” I answer. I think I can use one moment alone right now since everyone has been acting so weird today and since I still find myself feeling a bit jealous of the way that Joni looked at Marko.

I’m just starting up the car when the passenger side door opens and who else, but my favorite blond; Marko jumps in next to me. ”What is it now?” I ask.

”I’m coming with you.” He tells me sweetly and smiles.

”I don’t want you with me.”

”Too bad, because I’m coming anyway. Unless you want to buy the things I need for me, I could write a list for you, but it would take some time.” He smiles again. I sigh; I do not have the energy to fight with him about this now.

”Well okay, but keep your mouth shut, I’m not in the mood to talk.” I tell him and turn on the radio.

”You really should try to relax a bit Jesse, one could think that you haven’t gotten any in ages; that it would be the reason of why you’re so tense all the time, but on the other hand; we all heard what happened this morning. So just take that stick out of your arse.” Marko grins.

”Take that dildo out of yours,” I snap and Marko only laughs. God this will be a long shopping trip; trapped with the male Paris Hilton… Lord help me.

Chapter 5


Marko turns the music on louder and starts singing along. I glance at him quickly; his eyes are closed and he is swinging to the beat of the music.

”Did I not ask you to be quiet?” I ask finally and try to move my thoughts away from his beautiful singing voice. Marko stops, looks at me; blinking his big eyes and then he smiles, looking disturbingly innocent.

”I thought you said that you weren’t in the mood to talk, I didn’t realize that singing was also forbidden.” He answers turning his head slightly to the side.

”Well it is, I asked you to keep quiet.” I answer; I don’t know why I’m being so rude to him.

”Someone definitely has a hat on too tight today.” He sighs and turns the music down a bit, staying quiet himself. After awhile I look at him again, he is still swinging with the music, his lips are moving but no sound comes out. A smile appears on my lips; it’s amazing that something goes through even the thick head of Mr. Paris Hilton.

Finally we reach the nearest market. I drive to the parking lot and park the car. Marko jumps out and starts hopping towards the entrance; I mean literately hopping.

”Baby come on!” He calls me. I would like for the ground to swallow me at this point. Three guys that are leaning against the wall of the store are looking at us in a bad way. I wonder briefly if Marko is trying to get us both killed by acting so gay. I hurry after him to the store; I don’t want to stay and find out.

That guy must have a screw loose somewhere, I think to myself as I watch Marko jumping around happily in the store like some kid on Christmas morning.

”Jesse, Jesse come and take a look; there’s some funny looking thing over here, I wonder what it is? What do you do with this? …Oh there, my favorite! Must have! Delicacy pudding! Do you want some? I wonder if the others like them…” He thinks to himself and apparently decides to take enough for everyone; just in case. He brings the puddings into the shopping cart. I wonder; what belly does he eat those with?

”Pete doesn’t like me eating treats too much. He says that if I get fat; he’ll dump me, but my metabolism has always been fast and well, I don’t really eat sweets that much, but I like these delicacy puddings.” He explains to me. Oh, isn’t he cute. I smile. Wait; hold back there for a moment, I did not just think that Mr. Paris Hilton is cute?!

The three men from earlier are standing behind us in the queue to the counter. Marko looks at them, sucking on his bottom lip, a thoughtful expression on his face. Finally he leans in closer to me.
”What do you think Jesse, have those guys ever heard of a thing like shower? They smell bad, they smell like cows.” He whispers.
”Shh…we talk in the car.” I tell him, I’m afraid that those guys might hear us and kick our arses once we get outside. They don’t look at all friendly and Marko is right about their smell. I carefully sniff my nose at it.

I place the groceries in the trunk. Marko is already sitting in the car, he didn’t even offer to help, I even had to carry most of the shopping packs by myself. Well, it would be a great tragedy indeed, if Marko happened to break a nail or something. I’ve come back to my senses; Marko is not cute, he is not sweet, he is just an annoying blonde with air placing the space where you should find the brains.

”Where are you ladies going?” I hear a voice from behind me, –great, it’s those three big, cow smelling jerks from earlier. I walk over to the driver’s side of the car and open the door. I decide not to answer. Personally; I don’t see any ladies at present. I look at Marko, who seems to be checking out his nails at the moment. Well okay, I see one who is a bit questionable. ”Hey, we’re talking to you!” One of them yells. Still, I see no reason to answer. I sit in the car and close the door after me. I start the car and drive off the parking place.

I soon notice that those jerks are following us with their car, the traffic is slow and they are practically right behind our rear. I soon become a nervous wreck. Marko places a cd into the player, and soon a man’s voice starts singing in Russian. My palms are sweating; I gaze through the rear-view mirror.

”Russians are so hot; don’t you think that Russians are hot Jesse?” Marko asks.

”What?” I have a hard time concentrating, other than the fact that those guys are probably trying to get us off the road. ”I like Russians,” Marko continues. Is he like completely oblivious of what’s happening here?!

”Dammit.” I curse, I don’t usually curse, but I think that it’s allowed in a situation like this. Marko looks at me and then to the back window, then back to stare at the road ahead of us.

”You missed our intersection.” He points out calmly. I sigh fretfully; I’m not good in a situation like this. I haven’t even had my license that long, I’m beginning to panic; big time. We are going to get killed, aren’t we? And my last moments are spent with this blonde with air in his head while this Russian guy is singing his heart out.

”Calm down Jesse, we’re going to make it. I’ve never heard you cursing before.” Marko smiles, how on earth can he be so calm?

”You do realize that those guys are trying to force us off the road?” I snap at him. Once again he looks out from the back window.

”They must be pretty horny, for trying to get some ass from two gay guys.” He says and continues. ”How typical; long enough time spent without the warmth of a woman and then they’re not so straight after all.” He sighs. I look at him quickly and then back at the road ahead of us.

”Marko, I’m pretty sure that this is not about that, this is about those guys hating gay people and therefore they want to beat us up, or kill us, or something!”

”Oh, you’re still so sweet and innocent, that it’s almost touching really.” Marko smiles. I decide not to even try and understand his logic anymore, until he decides to explain it. ”One of the guys pinched my arse in the queue and whispered something that I’m sure you don’t want to hear right now… I didn’t take him for real though, I guess I should have.”

”Fuck, what should I do? Where should I drive?” I ask him. I don’t know this area well.

”Just calm down. Turn left here.” Marko advises me and still I find it amazing how calm he is. I listen to the advise and turn to a narrow sand road.

”I’m not so sure about this.” I tell him as I keep driving and notice that we are still being followed and now we are in some secluded forest road, with no witnesses.

”Trust me Jesse, I promise you that nothing bad is going to happen to us.” Marko tries to calm me. ”Turn right and soon after that turn left.” He continues.

A small lakeside cabin comes to my vision.
”Drive to the yard of that cabin.” Marko tells me.

An old lady, who was squatting on the ground, implanting some flowers, stands up and looks at us with surprise on her face as we get out of the car. Our followers have parked their car a little further away.

Marko is smiling wildly, he walks over to the woman and gives her a hug.
”I’m so happy to see you; it’s been such a long time!” He shrieks. The woman hugs him back.

”W-Well it sure is.” She says then, looks at me and then back at Marko. She seems a bit confused. I hear as the car starts and drives off. I sigh with relieve; at least we got rid of them.

”Heikki, come and see who’s here.”

”What are you going on about Irmeli?” An old man steps out of the cabin onto the terrace. He looks at Marko and then at me.

”Uncle Heikki! I’m so happy to see you!” Marko smiles and rushes over to hug the man. ”I know, I’ve grown so much, the last time we met, I was like this.” He lifts his hand to his hip to demonstrate.

”Yes, you sure have grown boy.” The man notes and looks at his wife. ”Don’t you think so too Irmeli?”

”Yes, indeed he has. What a handsome young man you’ve become, you and your friend.”

”Well would you boys like some coffee?” The woman asks.

”Yes, we would love some!” Marko smiles.

We move inside, the woman is offering some buns and cookies for us. Marko chats with them in a happy and carefree manner. I’m eating my cookie and I look at them wondering why Marko didn’t tell us that he had relatives around here.

”Well, we should go now. We bought some milk from the store and it turns sour if it stays in the warmth too long.” Marko says finally and stands up. I stand up after him.

”It was nice that you could visit. I hope that you’ll visit us more often from now on,” Irmeli says and gives Marko a hug.

”Of course. Have a nice weekend, I’ll call you!” Marko promises with a smile and hugs her back, he then gives a hug to the man as well. Who seems a bit surprised by this, I guess he’s not a hugger type, but at least he doesn’t complain.


”So who were they?” I ask when we are driving back to Pete’s cabin.

”Heikki and Irmeli,” Marko says simply.

”No, I mean, were they like your relatives or?”

”No, they were Heikki and Irmeli, I’ve never even met them before!” Marko starts to laugh. I look at him in confusion.

”So what you are saying, is that we just sat there having coffee with complete strangers?”

”Yes, it’s nice to meet new people, don’t you agree? I told you not to worry.” He smiles brightly. I am amazed. Suddenly Marko seems a lot more interesting than he did before; suddenly it seems that he does have a brain after all.

When we reach the cabin we are both laughing our arses off. We’ve been wondering what the couple may have been thinking after we left and if they ever even noticed that they didn’t even know either of us from before.


Finally I hear as the car drives down to the driveway. I was beginning to get worried. I know that Jesse isn’t a big fan of Marko and I don’t think that Marko is that crazy about Jesse either. After all Jesse is my boyfriend and Marko might be little jealous of that.

I walk outside, my intention is to pull my baby into my arms and kiss him senseless. I stop in my tracks as I see the two of them. Marko and Jesse are joking and laughing together? Okay what’s this then?

To see your boyfriend and the guy with whom you cheated on him laughing together as if they were the best of friends, isn’t something that you want to see. It’s wrong on so many different levels. I liked it more when they were wrestling in the water together, that was hot, but this? This I don’t like.

I hear as someone steps next to me and I turn my head to see who it is; Kim. He looks at me and then at Jesse and Marko with a sneer on his face. I guess he can see just how little I like the new turn of things.

”Interesting, wouldn’t you agree?” He whispers with a mean voice, a voice that I didn’t know he had in him. He leaves before I have the time to reply.

”What took you so long hon?” I ask when following Jesse into the kitchen. I wrap my arms around him and kiss his cheek. Marko is un-packing the groceries, he glances at me briefly and then continues what he’s doing.

”Well, when we left the store, there were these cow-smelling jerks that followed us with their car. I thought they were going to kill us…” Jesse laughs looking at Marko, who is now looking back at him. ”I drove by our intersection by mistake, but then Marko helped me and we ended up having coffee with this old couple. Marko acted as though he knew them, when he really didn’t!” Jesse explains to me enthusiastically and then they both laugh. Okay…I missed the joke in this completely…

”So let me get this right; some men were chasing you when you left the store and you ended up having coffee with some people you didn’t know?” I really am trying to get the funny thing that apparently lies here somewhere.

”Yes, that’s right! Heikki and Irmeli!” They both started to laugh again.

”Okay…” I look at them and roll my eyes; this really is kind of scary…



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