25.So just

Chapter 25

It was freezing, Chris lifted his collar and rubbed his hands together trying to warm himself up. Their breathing steamed in the small car. The darkness had already fallen although it was only four in the afternoon. They waited, observed. Chris looked at the house in the distance, house where Joni would be staying with that Russian. The house was old, wooden two-storey building. There was a dilapidated barn next to it. Barn that, judging by the state of it, didn’t keep any animals anymore.

The car was parked at a prober distance where it wouldn’t be well spotted from the road or from the yard, the darkness worked in their benefit. They had already been there for a couple of hours walking and studying the grounds.

Their plans depended on how Joni would react to the following events. One plan was to act if Joni decided to go jogging alone which he had done often when they had been together. Especially under pressure and stress it was his way to deal with it. It would be their easiest opportunity, but they had back up plans as well, all they needed now was patience.

Finally, they heard car approaching. Aki straightened on his chair. “That’s Ivo’s car.” Aki said. They watched as the car parked in front of the house and Aki handed binoculars to him. Chris held his breath, he saw Joni stepping out of the car and his heart beat increased; it had been too long since they had last seen each other and Chis yearned to get closer, longed to be able to touch him.

Others had stepped out as well, taking luggage from the trunk. Misha got close to Joni, touched his shoulder, and planted a light kiss on his cheek before whispering something to his ear. Chris felt a sharp stab of jealousy that spread agitation through his body.

The group moved to the house and Chris lowered the binoculars, swallowing heavily. His chest tightened and his hand trembled slightly. They were so close, and though he still recognized the madness they were about to venture, he had now seen Joni and the last bit of his reasoning was begging to fade.

Aki had taken the binoculars and observed the house in turn. “Now we’ll just wait for the right opportunity.” He spoke. “But I don’t think we’ll get that today.” He added. “Let’s come back tomorrow and observe the situation.”


Joni stirred awake when Misha crawled on the narrow bed next to him. “Good morning, is there any room for me here?” Misha whispered, kissing his earlobe. Joni smiled, moved little further back towards the wall and raised the blanket to share it with his partner. “Did you get any sleep?” Misha asked, kissing his neck, while moving his hand softly down on his back.

The loud snoring from the other side of the room made Joni chuckle quietly. “Despite the circumstances…” He whispered and looked in Misha’s eyes with a small smile on his lips. He moved his hand softly on Misha’s side.

“I think Ivo took a couple of vodka shots too many.” Misha admitted.” I wonder if Jami is sleeping?” He wondered, and Joni brought his head up trying to peak towards the other bed where Jami slept.

“At least it looks like he is…” Joni grinned. Misha’s hand started caressing his buttocks more boldly and Joni had to bite down on his lip not to make a sound. He could feel Misha’s erection against his thigh, feeling how passionately Misha would have loved to take it further, had there been no one else in the room.

They had arrived the previous afternoon and settled in the same bedroom with Ivo and Jami since the other spare bedroom upstairs had been used as a storage room for quite some time. Misha and Ivo had offered to sleep on the floor while Joni and Jami got the beds.

The previous evening the next-door neighbour; an elderly man with his divorced, middle-aged son had come for a visit. They had brought a bottle of vodka with them, which had tempted Ivo to drink more than he perhaps should have. And Misha’s grandmother wasn’t either the one to spit in her glass, so to speak.

Joni felt amused of how different Anna had been compared to before. The old woman had giggled like a schoolgirl with her neighbour Yegor and Joni was certain that they had more than friendship going on between them. Misha didn’t buy his theory though, claiming that he’d knew if there was something. But would Anna necessarily open about her romantic life to her grandchildren?

 Although neither of the two men spoke English, Jami and Joni had been able to keep up with the conversation with Ivo’s and Misha’s help. Jami admitted that he was relieved and that he had been nervous without needing to, about meeting Anna. The woman had welcomed him just as warmly as she had welcomed Joni before.

During the evening, Joni noticed that he had received five new friend requests in Facebook. The requests were from men that he didn’t know from before, ages between 25 to 40. Their profile pictures were quite vague and all of them were, at least supposedly, from Helsinki.

The pictures hadn’t been published, at least not in any easily found pages, but since all the requests had arrived during the last 24 hours, Joni guessed that the pictures had something to do with it. But if the pictures had been sent out by email, it was only a matter of time before they’d start spreading more. He tried his best to accept it, although it felt difficult.

Joni hadn’t spoken about the requests to Misha yet. The evening had gone so well, and Misha had seemed more relaxed than in days, he hadn’t wanted to spoil his mood. Joni knew that Misha hoped that they could drop the whole subject for now, since there was nothing that they could do about it.

” If only we were alone…” Misha whispered nuzzling against him.

”Mmh…” Joni moaned and closed his eyes, he moved his hands softly on Misha’s body under the cover. He wanted to be able to forget, wanted to focus on the future and dreams of London, of getting to the school he wanted, a new beginning with Misha.

“Perhaps I’ll take you to the barn later…” Misha whispered.

“Oh, what’s there?” Joni asked teasingly and allowed himself to take part in the game.

” A surprise.” Misha grinned, planting a kiss on his cheek.

“A surprise? I wonder what it is…” His hand stroked Misha’s erection which made the blond grumble with pleasure and frustration. “Cows, or their ghost?” Joni wondered. ” A house elf? Or mice?” He touched Misha more boldly. “Something bigger perhaps?”

”Mmh…” Misha moaned.

” Like a rat or several of them?” Joni moved his hand away and kissed Misha’s lips.

“Fuck…” Misha cursed.

” Indeed.” Joni smiled and kissed Misha once more, this time more wantonly and longer.

“I don’t know if it’s too cold there.” Misha sighed with frustration.

“You promised a surprise for me… I can make sure we’ll be warm enough…” Joni whispered while stroking him teasingly once more, which made the other quiver with pleasure and frustration over the fact that he couldn’t get satisfaction at that moment.

Misha looked in Joni’s eyes. “I’ll arrange that surprise.” He whispered leaning towards another kiss which Joni welcomed with pleasure.

“And I look forward to it.” Joni assured.

They heard a creak from the other bed as Jami turned on his side.” “Mmh… Good morning.” He muttered sleepily. “What time is it?”

” Good morning. I think it’s close to nine.” Misha sighed. “Hmm.. I’ll go and take care of this problem…” He whispered to Joni.

“And leave me to wrestle with my own, how gruel.” Joni whispered back and pouted his lips.

“I would gladly wrestle with you, but…”

” Too much audience, go.” Joni smiled and Misha returned his smile before grasping his bathrobe from the floor and sneaking out of the room.

“Damn Ivo is snoring loud!” Jami sighed.” I hope you were able to get some sleep?”

” Yes, we did, don’t worry.” Joni turned on his side and smiled. “Did you?”

” Yes, I think I fell asleep before that bellowing started.” He chuckled and Joni smiled at him before taking his phone. He had gotten few more friend requests and it made him sigh heavily. At least it solved the problem that Misha had needed a shower to cool down with. He ran his fingers through his hair, something was going on, it was beginning to look certain.

” Is everything alright?” Jami asked looking at him somewhat worriedly while getting dressed. Joni looked at him, gave a somewhat tired smile before sitting up. He shrugged his shoulders.

“For now.” He finally answered. Jami observed him quietly. Ivo was still snoring in deep sleep and the sound was strangely comforting, somehow so normal, and carefree… “I’ll be alright.”

“Have you heard something from Chris?” Jami asked carefully.

” At Christmas,” Joni admitted. ” He send me messages in Facebook and called me when we were in New York.”

“Oh…” Jami felt silly that he hadn’t thought of anything better to say. “What did he say?” He asked then.

“The same restless shit as before.” Joni sighed and started to look for his shirt. “Adam talked with him and I hope he managed to talk some sense to him. At least he’s in Canada, right? I can somehow take the online harassment.”

Jami nodded. ” Although, you shouldn’t have to put up with that either.” He spoke. He had already gotten dressed and now stood somewhat helplessly next to his bed as if not knowing what to say but hesitated to leave before him either.

“I hope I won’t have to for long.” Joni smiled and got up. “I think I’ll go and have a shower as well, see you at breakfast.” He said collecting his clothes before leaving the room.


” Want to go for a walk?” Misha whispered.

It was late evening; they had eaten dinner and Anna’s neighbour and his son had spent the evening with them again. Joni had enjoyed couple glasses of wine and felt somewhat relaxed. He had already closed his cell phone that afternoon and managed to keep it closed. He wanted at least one evening without having to think about it, if he only could.

“Will I get that surprise we talked about?” Joni asked quietly.

” Maybe. Have you been a good boy?” Misha asked and Joni bit his lip.

“No, I’ve been very naughty.” He grinned.

” Oh, well then…” Misha swallowed with mild surprise. “Then we have to go and see how to take care of such naughty boy.  Follow me.”

Joni lowered his glass on the nearby table and followed Misha to the hall where they got dressed in their outdoor clothes. It was clear, frosty night and the sky was filled with stars. Joni didn’t remember the last time he had seen so many stars at once. Misha glanced towards the house and took his hand, leading him towards the barn.

They got inside, near the door was old bicycles, further in, stalls that once had occupied horses or cows were now filled with old furniture and what looked like random junk. There was a soft, faint light coming from somewhere back. Misha had settled a blanket on the floor before and brought candles. There was a basket with wine and two plastic cups. Joni smiled. “Romantic,” he whispered and looked at Misha who pulled him close.

“I thought that the good boy would have needed some romance… but… what about this naughty boy I brought here instead? He asked with a glimmer in his eyes.

” Well…” Joni started and brought his finger up on Misha’s lips where he sided it softly down on his neck. His other hand moved teasingly up along Misha’s thigh. “This naughty boy would like… very much… to taste you…” He whispered and brought his hand on Misha’s groin, sighing with satisfaction to find him hard.

” I’d like to kiss your cock, caress it with my lips and take you in my mouth. I would suck you until you come, and I’d swallow everything you give me…”

Misha sighed and licked his lips. “On with it then.” He whispered lustfully and Joni lowered on his knees in front of him. He looked up at Misha teasingly while opening his pants.

Misha gasped, looked at Joni with lust while he brought his hand in his dark hair. The walls around them perhaps protected from the cold breeze outside, but it was none the less cold in the barn. But at that moment Misha didn’t feel the cold, Joni’s lips caressed his organ through his underwear, until he gently dug it out from the opening. Misha groaned from pleasure when he felt Joni’s hot breath, the touch of his soft, moist lips, lick of his tongue. Misha was bursting from the desire, it seemed like forever since the last time, even though it hadn’t been more than two weeks.

Misha tightened his hold on Joni’s hair, it was difficult to control himself, but Joni didn’t seem to mind. At times Joni looked up at him, meeting with his eyes while sucking him and Misha could see that he was turned on as well. This Joni he had missed, and he had to admit that he had feared that he wouldn’t see this side for some time. There was too much going on, open questions and worry, but now they were here, in this moment, by themselves. Stolen moment from the troubles of reality. Misha would have wished that he could have prolonged that moment and pleasure, but in the end he couldn’t.

Joni observed keenly the pleasure drawn on Misha’s features while he swallowed his cum. He was both pleased and turned on by being able to bring pleasure to his lover.

Their eyes met when Joni slowly pulled back, wiping his mouth. Misha smiled blissfully, stroking Joni’s hair tenderly now before kneeling in front of him. “Thank you…” Misha whispered hoarsely and took Joni’s face between his hands in a tender hold.

” Thank you to yourself….” Joni chuckled and helped Misha to close his pants before bringing Misha’s hand on his own groin. Misha grinned feeling the hardness under his palm and stroked it through the fabric for some time.

“Hmm… Let’s see then…” He said, making Joni quiver from pleasure and anticipation. “I think I have to investigate further…” He continued and kissed through Joni’s neck while guiding him to lie on his back over the blanket, starting to open his pants.

“This really requires a closer look…” Misha murmured and moved further down on his body. Joni met with the glimmer in the blue eyes and felt the caress of Misha’s warm lips on his cock, he bit his lip and allowed himself to be drowned in the pleasure.

Afterwards they sat on the floor side by side wrapped under a blanket. “You’re not cold, are you?” Misha asked.

“No, it’s perfect here.” Joni answered snuggling even closer to him.

Misha smiled and poured some wine in two mugs. He handed the other to Joni and kissed his cheek. “It was good to steal some alone time with you.”

“Yes, it was needed.” Joni admitted and brought the mug to his lips. “It was good that we came here in the first place, to your grandmother I mean.”

 ” It’s good if you’ve been able to distract your mind to positive things.” Misha said. “I admit that I was little worried.”

” It’s on my mind from time to time, but there’s nothing to do, is there?” Joni looked at him.” And I’m not the only one with this kind of problem these days, right? I find some strange comfort in that.” He snorted.” Perhaps I could organise a support group… For people whose crazy ex posted their nude pictures online… Then in those meetings we’d play that song, hm, you know, the one where that woman sings about how her ex did that and we’d keep a moment of silence or… perhaps drink ourselves into sweet oblivion… or whatever…” Joni chuckled and took another sip of his wine.

” I’m glad you can joke about this already.” Misha smiled.

” And not just joke! Perhaps I mean it? Or then I’m just drunk and everything feels easier. What else can I really do other than try to find a silver lining in this? – A line that is, without a doubt, very, very thin and right now almost impossible to see.” Joni smiled crookedly. “But if I try… At least when I’m old and wrinkled, there is visible proof that once I was young, handsome and… sexy too.” He glanced at Misha cocking his eyebrow and grinned at him. “Perhaps then I’ll show those pictures off with pride, I’ll have a large canvas made from one of them and place it on the wall of whatever elderly home we end up in and it will make the young nurses blush.”

“Oh, so you’re planning to ditch me for one of those hot young nurse boys then?” Misha joked and Joni smiled.

” Don’t worry, my ego wouldn’t stand if my partner was both younger and cuter than I. Therefore, I have to date an elderly like you.”

“Elderly?” Misha laughed.

” Darling, you’re nearing closer to thirty than twenty and I’m only at the beginning.” Joni said in joking tone.

“Oh, I see, so give me some of that youthful nectar then…” Misha grinned and leaned closer to kiss Joni. Joni giggled, brought his hand on Misha’s cheek.

” This was what I needed, being able to laugh about it.” Joni admitted and was quiet for a moment. “But come the following days, I might find it difficult, and I’d like to apologise beforehand if I’m difficult, burdensome and peeved. I can only ask that you put up with me.”

” Don’t worry. For bad and for good, sickness and in health…” Misha grinned.” I’m here for you and I’m not going anywhere, come what may.” Misha assured rubbing Joni’s arm, planting a kiss on his forehead. Joni closed his eyes and settled his head against Misha’s chest, feeling safe and loved. “Besides, I think I’ve already seen you at your worst.” Misha chuckled stroking Joni’s hair. “You can be annoying as hell when you set your mind to it, but I can take it, brat. It’s a part of you.” He added softly and Joni brought his head up looking Misha’s eyes before kissing him.

“You haven’t called me brat for a long time.” Joni smiled. “I kind of missed it.”

” I’ll keep that in mind.” Misha grinned.


It was late evening, Ryan sat in front of his computer feeling frustrated. Chris had already been gone for a couple of days and couple of hours earlier Ryan had tried to call him, Chris hadn’t answered. He had then played detective and didn’t really know if he was just silly and gotten some strange obsession or paranoia over his crush. Did he have overly active imagination? Deranged people acted like this; deranged people tried to search for the background info of their crushes so vigorously.

He had looked though Chris’ Facebook wall. He hadn’t large number of friends, Adam Wilson was one of few who had congratulated Chris on his 29th birthday on September. Ryan had clicked Adam’s information and seen that he was married to Suvi Wilson née Lehto and because the maiden surname sounded foreign, Ryan had checked her profile as well, finding out that she was from Finland.

Suvi had pictures visible on her profile; apparently, she didn’t see it so important to hide her updates from outsiders. Last was from New Year’s Eve; “My darling, gorgeous cousin, visiting with his fiancé

! Happy New Year!” The picture had been taken outside during the fireworks in New York and the picture showed the woman with her husband and their child and a male couple whose names were tagged. The picture had been taken from a distance, but the name; ‘Joni Lehto’ almost made Ryan spill his drink on the screen.

Suddenly nervous, his hand trembling he clicked Joni’s profile open. The profile didn’t reveal much, but the profile picture confirmed it. The young man was the same as in the pictures he had seen at Chris’ place. For a moment he had just stared at the screen. Now he had a name, full name and Joni was apparently a model; he found more pictures online and Joni had a new boyfriend… who was Russian. Thoughts ran wild in his mind and for a moment he didn’t know how to act. Perhaps there was nothing to react to?

Then he had tried to call Chris once more, hoping to get peace of mind that he really was on an innocent holiday. But Chris didn’t reply to this time either and Ryan had a bad feeling in the bottom of his stomach. And perhaps he really had an overly active imagination? Perhaps he had read too many mystery novels lately?

Still, knowing he wouldn’t be able to get sleep, he googled some more. He found some tabloid news written in Finnish and managed to translate them with the awkward google translate. Joni’s ex-boyfriend had been arrested from deprivation of liberty and assault. Joni had been in a hospital care.

Ryan felt sick, he felt numb for a moment. He hadn’t expected this. He didn’t know what he had expected, but even though Chris had been rough and mysterious… The thought that he was… Abuser? Former inmate? What else? It came as a shock to him…

It took some time for him to recover from the shock. Then he was able to put the pieces together understanding that he had a prober reason to worry; ‘What if they don’t come to Russia? ´-Joni’s new boyfriend was Russian.

…. Chris had gone to Russia with Aki? Aki had mentioned getting supplies, for what? -Damn. It really could be serious. But what if he just cooked this all up in his head? Where should he start? Should he go straight to the police? What did he really have? Just intuition or facts? If he would start by contacting Joni?

Ryan clicked the profile open and decided to send him a private message and a friend request so that he’d notice his message more likely. “Hey, I’ve gotten to know your ex-boyfriend, Chris Hanratty. I learned from other sources that you used to date him. Could you get back to me as soon as possible? This is important!” Ryan thought about it for a moment before he sent it. He felt bothered about the whole thing. What if he was just paranoid and all of it had an innocent explanation and all he had just done only ruined his chance with Chris? But though he had his doubts he had a stronger instinct that his worry was very real, and he shouldn’t waste a second.


Five new friend requests, but Joni hadn’t found the pictures anywhere. Two requests from USA, two from Finland, one from Canada. Joni felt anxious and he rejected the requests and a couple messages after reading the first that was very straight forward suggestion for sex.

Others had gone down for breakfast. They had plans to go out later to celebrate Misha’s birthday and now Joni found it difficult to get into the right spirit. It had been a mistake to open his cell, but he might have wondered about it regardless.

Chris had apparently spread his phone number out too. He had gotten one text message during the night from a prepaid number. “Hey sexy, how’s it going? ;)” And it had a picture attachment of a cock in full erection. He really didn’t need this, and Joni felt angry. The message was written in Finnish, but whom ever had sent it, must have gotten his number from Chris. Why couldn’t Chris just move on and leave him alone? Hadn’t he suffered enough?

This kind of harassment was something he couldn’t directly point to Chris. Realising it agitated and stressed him further. He’d have to change his number again and Joni decided to do that as soon as they got home. Before that… Perhaps he would just keep his phone closed? Tell his dad to call Misha if he wanted to talk. Or should he make one more desperate attempt to talk with Chris? Would it bring any help when the man hadn’t listened any sense before?

Because Joni didn’t want to ruin Misha’s birthday, he decided not to mention about the messages to him. He would try his best not to think about it. He wanted Misha to enjoy the day without any worry, they would have time to deal with this later.

Sooner or later, this would stop -Joni tried to encourage himself. Sooner or later there would be a time when all of this would feel far away and only like a bad dream. He would get through this stage, pushing through with strength. There were others who had succeeded in getting through something like this, right?

Joni decided to delete his whole profile in Facebook at least then the friend requests and messages would stop.


” Happy Birthday Misha!” Galina started raising her glass and others joined the wish. Joni squeezed Misha’s hand under the table and got a tender smile from his partner. Joni would have wanted to kiss him. But it wouldn’t be wise considering where they were.

The bar was quite filled with people, it was one of the most popular places in the small town, where young people went. They had dined earlier at a cosy restaurant nearby and then moved to this bar.

Joni had gotten a couple of more texts from the same number as before and it was getting harder to stay positive. The messages had gotten bolder and more descriptive over what the sender wanted to do with him or to him. Still, he didn’t want to tell Misha because he deserved a nice birthday.

Joni felt his cell phone vibrate in his pocket signalling for a new message. “Do you enjoy these fantasies I describe to you?” The message said and Joni felt sick.” You know just how sexy you are, right? And those pictures, more people would deserve to see them, what do you think?” Joni already guessed that the sender was Aki. He felt uneasiness spreading. What on earth could he do? Another message. “Answer me.”

“Hey, I’m going to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” Joni excused himself and left. What on earth could he reply? Or should he reply? Joni wondered, feeling annoyed and scared at the same time.

He walked to the men’s room that was currently empty. He felt sickened about the smell, apparently the drunken visitors hadn’t been able to aim properly, and the cleaning had been terribly neglected. He felt sickened of both the lack of cleanliness and the sickening fantasies he had received in his cell.

“If you think you can blackmail me, you’re mistaken. And if you think you can bluff me from a prepaid number, you’ve failed, Aki. You can tell Chris to fuck off as well! With those pictures and your attempts to blackmail me you can both wipe your ass.” Joni took out his frustration in writing and pressed send. But as soon as he had done it, he felt regret. It might have been too provocative. He was trembling more now, and the pungent odour of urine filled his nostrils and made him feel even more sick.

Joni startled when the door opened. “Jesus, what an infernal stink!” Jami sighed when stepping in. “Does one even dare to do their business here?” He pondered before looking at Joni who was visibly pale. “Hey, is everything alright?” He asked worriedly and Joni brought his hand over him mouth looking around franticly before rushing in on one of the stalls. Jami soon heard him puking.

Because Joni had willingly volunteered on being the driver, he couldn’t have been sick from drinking. “Um, did you get a food poisoning?” Jami asked worriedly after the vomiting had stopped. He heard Joni spitting a couple of times before coming out, looking even paler.

“I don’t think so…” He replied somewhat shakily, walking towards the water taps, washing his face and hands. He then took some paper to dry with. “It’s just this smell… I’m better now… It’s alright… I’ll go and get a drink of water or something.“ Jami still looked little worriedly after him, hoping he really didn’t have any stomach flu. But on the other hand, the bathroom really was disgusting, so, it might be just that…

Joni had to ensure the rest of the evening that he really was fine and that had only been sick because of the state of the bathroom. Still, it didn’t go unnoticed by anyone that he was quieter than his usual self and although at times he tried to cheer up and seem happy, the others sensed the pretence behind it. Still Joni kept insisting that he was fine, which vexed Misha.

After midnight they left to the car to drive back to Anna’s. Ivo was cuddling on the backseat with Jami and Jami’s giggles got on Joni’s nerve. Misha observed him quietly and Joni hoped he would have been able to hide his troubled thoughts better. Now Misha seemed anything but cheerful and relaxed which was what Joni had wanted him to be.

” The food was great at the restaurant, right?” Joni commented, trying to cheer the mood. “It was a fun evening in other respective too, and I hope you liked the present?” Joni had hoped that he would have been able to think something more inventive to Misha than a new sweater and aftershave, but his imagination hadn’t been very creative lately.

“I liked the present, thank you.” Misha said trying to ignore the sounds that his brother and his spouse made in the back as they were all over each other. Both had drunk quite many shots during the last hour at the bar. “But I can see that something is wrong.” He sighed. Joni gritted his teeth and stared at the road ahead.

“We don’t need to talk about it now.” Joni said, giving a quick glance to Misha and a haste smile.

“Damn it, Joni, then when? Can you please just tell me what’s happened?” Misha groaned, his head ached, and he felt utterly annoyed with this situation that Chris had created.

” What are you arguing about?” Ivo asked with confusion.

” We’re not arguing!” Joni snapped.

“Well excuse me for asking.” Ivo muttered.

“It’s late and we’re all tired.” Joni sighed trying to calm down. Ivo and Jami had stopped their making out session and sat up right in the back seat looking somewhat worriedly at them.

“Are you feeling sick again, should we pull over?” Jami asked.

” No.”

“What then?”

“Nothing. There is no problem that we need to go over now!” Joni turned the radio on louder.

Everyone was quiet. Misha felt annoyed, he knew that Joni had some new information concerning Chris or those pictures but had decided to keep it from him. It was frustrating! This concerned both. However, he wasn’t ready to start going over the matter here with Ivo and Jami and furthermore the highway wasn’t the best place for such conversation.

They got to the house. No one had spoked during the rest of the ride.

“Can you please tell me what’s happened?” Misha asked after they had gotten in. “Have they published the pictures?”

“I don’t know… I don’t think so… Let’s talk about this tomorrow, I need sleep.” Joni replied. “It’s alright.” He added and kissed Misha’s cheek before heading to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Misha felt even more annoyed, he knew something had happened and he wouldn’t be able to sleep properly when he didn’t know what it was.


Aki hadn’t replied, Joni felt nervous, he wasn’t sure if it was a good sign. He had slept restlessly through the night and Misha seemed pretty tense after waking up. Ivo and Jami on the other hand were in annoyingly good mood and had stayed in the bedroom to make out after they had headed downstairs for breakfast.

“Can you finally tell me what’s happened?” Misha asked with bored tone once they were in the kitchen. He was tired and it made him grumpy. He was annoyed by Chris and all these troubles that seemed to build up. On top of that Joni hid things from him at times. Joni on the other hand was annoyed by Misha’s tone.

” Alright. I Started getting friend requests from strangers in Facebook.” Joni said. “And sex offers… so I deleted my account.

” When did the first ones came?”

“The night we arrived. Yesterday I got few texts from an unknown number.”

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me straight away?” Misha sighed with upset tone getting sandwich ingrediencies ready.

“Didn’t we agree that we’d try and forget this thing? That we’d try to spend out holiday and deal with this mess later?”

“Yes, we did! So why did you have to check your social media?” Misha groaned. “You don’t need to hang out in that stupid Facebook all the time!”

“I just said I deleted my account! And I’m sorry if I’m interested on what’s happening to my life and I am sorry if I thought about your best interest!”

“We’re in this swamp together Joni. You need to share this sort of things with me! I want to know where we are going!”

“This swamp…” Joni snorted. “This is how you consider our relationship?”

“At this moment? Yes, it does feel quite sticky now to move through all this shit.” Misha sighed without thinking further.

” Well, if it does feel like such a burden to be with me, no one is forcing you to go through this shit! Go on and walk elsewhere if you will, go to Stanislav for all I care, or Mikael, or Raimo or who ever the fuck he was! I don’t fucking care!” Joni snapped and stormed past Anna, who had just walked in the room.

“What are you yelling at?” Anna wondered. ” Did you have a fight?”

“It’s silly, it’s okay.” Misha sighed. “We’ll talk this through.”

Ivo met with Joni on the stairs. “What is it, what are you arguing about?”

” I don’t have the energy to explain…” Joni said and continued past him. When in the room Joni fell over on the bed, burying his face not minding about Jami who was still in the room giving a confused look to him.

Misha ate his breakfast silently. Ivo and Jami sat with him; Joni was still sulking upstairs. Having had some coffee and having filled his stomach calmed Misha. He glanced at his brother who had observed him quietly for some time without a word.

“Go ahead and ask.” Misha said and brought his coffee cup to his lips.

“What were you and Joni arguing about?” Ivo asked and Misha sighed.

“We just went over our frustration. This is about that Canadian snake.” Misha looked at both Ivo and Jami who were silently waiting for him to continue. “Chris contacted Joni at Christmas and when we were in New York he even called him…. Then I called him back in anger, Joni doesn’t know that I did… Before we left here, Kasper told Joni that he had gotten some of those pictures… those nude photos by email.” Misha rubbed his eyes exhaustedly. “And now, I don’t know. I guess they’ve been spread out more… And Chris seems to have help, a man that was in prison with him, released earlier. Some drug dealer, who on top of everything, dated Dima’s ex-girlfriend this summer…” Misha suddenly felt like laughing. The shocked expression on Ivo’s and Jami’s face were somehow amusing, although it shouldn’t have been, and now they eyed him like he would have gone mad.

“Gods. When did my life began to resemble some poor soap opera?” Misha asked, wiping tears of exhausted laugher from his eyes. “What next? We’ll find out that the next-door neighbour Yegor and his son is in on this too?”

Ivo and Jami glanced at each other, not really knowing what to say. Misha brought the coffee mug to his lips and shook his head. “I would just want to live a normal life with Joni, is it too much to ask?”

“No.” Ivo gave a sad smile to his brother. “I’m sorry you’re going through such hard time. This will work out, it will get better, I’m sure it will. And we’ll help you in any way we can.”

” Thank you,” Misha said quietly.” I’ll go and talk with Joni, so that we can leave to our uncles place.” Misha got up and headed upstairs.

Joni was sitting on his bed observing his phone. He looked up at Misha. “I told you that I will most likely be burdensome and difficult the following days, as long as this situation is going on. This is now it and I also remember that you told me that you can take it. But you are free to change your mind and call off the engagement.” Joni still stared at his phone as he spoke.

” I remember and I’m not changing my mind, so you can stop the martyr act.” Misha said with an annoyed tone. ” Stop being childish, Joni. Don’t I have the right to be difficult and annoying too at times?” Misha sighed. “This situation sucks to be frank, okay? But I would never call off our engagement for that!” Joni glanced at him from under his brows looking somewhat defiant.

“I’m angry.” He spoke.” I don’t know where to direct my anger and my frustration when the right target isn’t here. If Chris was here and I had a baseball pat I am quite certain that I could beat him to a bloody bulb with it, I think I feel just that angry now.”

” Well, I hope there would be two of those pats.” Misha said. “If Chris was here and the other guy as well.” They looked at one another seriously until Joni smiled.

“There, there I got it.” Misha grinned. Joni snuggled close and Misha wrapped his arms around him. “Evil gets paid, sooner or later, trust me.” Misha whispered and for a moment they were silent. Come and have some breakfast, then we leave to my uncles.”

“Will you get mad if I don’t want to go?” Joni asked. ” I would like to get some rest. I don’t feel like seeing people, I don’t feel like I could cheer myself up to be social.”

” I see, so you want to have this Finnish antisocial moment, huh?” Misha joked.

“Exactly.” Joni grinned and then Misha suddenly hesitated. Did Joni really want to be alone?

“Anna is coming with us, you would be here all alone, are you sure?”

“I am. If your grandmother doesn’t mind?”

“I don’t think she would. But really, I can stay with you if you want me to?

“You need to see your relatives and I need my antisocial moment. I’ll be fine, if you didn’t know, I’m actually already an adult.” Joni grinned. “Even though I can admit behaving childishly at times.”

Misha grinned back at him and leaned forward to kiss him. “Okay brat, I love you and you call me if there’s any trouble or you want us to return earlier, promise?”

Joni chuckled. “Don’t stress Misha, I’ll be fine, really.”

“Okay then.” Misha agreed smiling. “But now; off to breakfast!”


chapter 26



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